(Closed) Guests Get the Short End of the Stick

posted 8 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Should I assign seats?
    Yes : (13 votes)
    68 %
    No : (6 votes)
    32 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Honestly, I think if I were a guest and seated away from the rest of the party, I would feel a bit left out. Or like I were the crappy guest you only invited because you had to. Could you cut your guest list down a bit more to better accomodate the space of your venue?

    Post # 4
    Member
    2476 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I agree with @bakerella.  FI and I went to a wedding once where we were sat in an area outside the main indoor reception hall (literally OUTSIDE, like under the stars and clouds).  We felt kinda shafted and like we weren’t “important” guests.  🙁

    Post # 5
    Member
    1426 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I wouldn’t do it. I think guests don’t like being separated out into different rooms.  They’ll end up missing the speeches, the cake cutting, the first dance, etc. because they won’t know when these things are going on.  Hearing muffled music from a different floor is much different than actually being in the room and being a part of the wedding.  Have you considered putting 9 or 10 at a table?  If you could rent slightly bigger tables (which are not usually too expensive) you could probably do it.  There looks like there’s a lot of space between the tables there. Plus I don’t know if you’re doing a buffet or a plated dinner, but if you don’t do a buffet you will save that much more space.

    Or, if you’re worried about extra people showing up, just make your RSVPs really clear.  Use the “We have reserved ____ seats in your honor” wording, and if people RSVP for extra guests, call them and tell them that it won’t be possible to accommodate them.  There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to keep your guest list at whatever you decide it should be.

    Post # 6
    Member
    818 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    How many guests did you invite?

    Honestly, I’d feel very put out if I were invited to a wedding and was placed in a different room. It would be one thing if it was an extension of the same room, but a completely different one, not even on the same floor? It would make me upset and I’d feel like Bakerella said, left out and an obligation invite.

    If you switched to long tables or did served food instead of buffet, that might help fit a few more guests in.

    Good luck!

    Post # 7
    Member
    223 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Personally, if I were seated away from everyone else, I would be kind of upset.  They are there to share this day with you & then they can’t even enjoy being in the same room with you.  I agree with bakerella, maybe adjust your guest list a little.  This is just my opinion.  It is your day & you should do what makes you happy!

    Post # 8
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Could you not fit 10 instead of 8 people at the round tables? Most of those standard round tables can fit 10 people. It’s more of a squeeze, but better than offending anyone.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1194 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    My friend’s wedding was in a very cool barn with a similiarly awkward set-up.  The wedding party sat in a balcony area above everyone else.  On the main floor, tables were placed by the main dance floor and back in a few rooms off the main dance floor.  There was a downstairs too, where the bar and other tables for guests were placed.

    Honestly, it was a little awkward.  I was put in one of the side rooms off the main floor and it was somewhat difficult for me to see the special dances and to socialize.  However, to me, the reception is most memorable for the dancing and the drinking.  And, once we ate, everyone got up, mingled and had an awesome time.  It didn’t make or break the wedding, and I feel like even the people seated downstairs had a fun time.

    Don’t stress out about it.  Just make it work and make sure you acknowledge and greet all guests. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    414 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I kind of had this same problem.  I found my DREAM venue, an old mansion that is restored and exactly what I envisioned.  Only problem was, the reception room was actually two adjoining rooms that were supposed to look like one big room but definitley didn’t feel like it.  I didn’t like that if you were seated in a certain area, you couldn’t see the dance floor, head table, etc.  I ultimately decided not to use that venue.  At times I still regret it but I think I’d regret it more if I crammed people into an uncomfortable space and/or made them feel like a B-list guest.  That being said…

    I don’t know if it’s a good idea for you to seat guests outside the main area.  How do you decide who gets the “cheap seats?”  I know it’s a tough call, but you want your guests to be happy.  Sorry if that’s not the answer you were looking for!

    Post # 13
    Member
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Potential solution: Set up all the tables in the whole room, and move the additional tables off the dance floor when it’s time to start dancing. I’ve seen this done at weddings before and it wasn’t a big deal. It gives the older guests a few minutes to duck out without feeling bad about it 😉

    Post # 14
    Member
    1194 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    The wedding I went to that used the multiple rooms did make adjustments so everyone would be able to be in the same place for dances/toast/etc.  It was all done before dinner, the bride & groom walked in, did their dances, toasts were done (actually, they were shots of liquor or ginger ale), and then people were invited to the buffet dinner. 

    So, all the formalities were taken care of before the guests sat down to dinner.  That way they did it when everyone was still together and mingling.  Speakers were in all the rooms, so the people who weren’t in the room could hear what was going on & could be present if they wanted to be.

    They mainly put family & very close friends on the main floor and younger friends, co-workers & the such on the bottom floor.  The people on the bottom floor were closer to the bar, so I guess that was a perk!

    Post # 16
    Member
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    If it is a buffet without assigned seating, I think it will be fine.  I went to a wedding like that and no one sat down for very long anyways.  Also, that way guests choose their seat so they aren’t feeling like they were assigned to a bad table.  With a buffet people are more likely to be moving around and mingling more anyways.  So I say yes, but do not assign seats (except for the bridal party and immediate family members).

    The topic ‘Guests Get the Short End of the Stick’ is closed to new replies.

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