Post # 1
Have any of you had this problem?
We bought stamps for all of the RSVP envelopes. However, everyone so far has just handed them to us instead of mailing them. It’s starting to bother me because postage wasn’t cheap but now all these stamps are being wasted.
Two people at FI’s work handed their RSVP’s back to him today. FI asked them if they could, to put them in the mailbox instead because it’s easier on me to keep them organized and we already paid for the postage. The two men ripped off the stamps and handed him the stampless envelopes and called him “cheap”.
I can’t believe how rude they were about it! And they aren’t the only ones that have been rude about me asking them to mail the RSVP’s back. Everyone I’ve asked said “Why should I put it in the mail when I see you all the time?” My grandma wouldn’t even fill out the card because she said “Oh you know we’re coming!” Well, yes I do, but there’s RSVP cards for a reason. Both of my Aunt’s/Uncle’s have done the same thing, as well as a couple of my close friends.
So now I have to fill out the RSVP’s of my friends & family who thought it was crazy for me to even give them cards, I have people ripping off stamps that I paid for, people handing me their cards without the envelope so I am assuming they trashed them, etc etc.
Now I understand a silly stamp to everyone else is NO BIG DEAL, but they aren’t the ones who paid over $150 for postage just for them to be thrown away, ripped off, scoffed at, to be called cheap and so on.
So bees, if there is a stamp already on a RSVP envelope, is it proper etiquette to go ahead and mail it in even if you could just as easily hand it to the couple?
Post # 3
@BakerBee16: Honestly I would just be glad that you are getting RSVPs back – posted or otherwise. I get that it’s frustrating but less frustrating than having to hound people to RSVP 🙂 The ones who say ‘oh but you know we are coming’ are in the wrong though and should have the courtesy to fill the card out.
Post # 4
@BakerBee16: I’d send an RSVP back through the mail if it were my next door neighbor. Tearing off the stamp??? huh??? And calling you cheap when you are being just the opposite?? That is very rude.
Post # 5
Personally I don’t understand asking someone to put an envelope in the mail when they are already handing it to you in person. That to me is rude. So long as you get the RSVP, what difference does it make how you get it?? The money has been spent on the stamp weather it’s postmarked or not.
Post # 6
@BakerBee16: I feel your pain. I don’t really care about the stamp being wasted, but it was easier to get the rsvp’s in the mail and be prepared to deal with them, or at least be able to stack them in one spot until I was ready to enter them into the spreadsheet.
When someone just handed them to me, it was now an additional responsibility for me not to lose them before I got home.
Having said all that, if someone hands you one, I suggest the polite response is to thank them, not to lecture them about the stamp, or complain about their method of delivery.
Post # 7
Honestly, I would be irked that the host did not just graciously accept the RSVP. A simple thank you would have sufficed. Then your fiance could keep the RSVPs in a safe place until handing them over to you. Typically RSVPs have a return by date (not a mail date) and the stamp is just for convenience. The co workers returned the RSVP on time in a fashion that was convenenient to them.
Post # 9
@FortiesFlare: Well personally, if an envelope already had a stamp on it, why wouldn’t you put it in the mail? If we wanted people to hand them to us, we wouldn’t have put stamps on it. But then people would be complaining that they have to pay for their own stamp if they mailed them. Also, how is it rude for my FI to ask them to just put it in the mailbox? It was rude of the adult men to rip the stamps off!
@julies1949: Yes because now I have RSVP’s in my car, purse, FI’s work, and his car when I could have them in one spot if they were mailed.
@Lollybags: That’s true! I am glad people are RSVP’ing 🙂
@Astra: I couldn’t believe it when FI told me what they did/said!
Post # 10
@BakerBee16: If they’re seeing you, I understand them not mailing it and would just take it. I get the waste of stamps being annoying. Maybe try and take them off to use them again on the ones you get back like that? Of all the stressful things around weddings, I would just see it as a free stamp back in your pocket and let it go.
Post # 11
@CurlyCue: It’s because we spent a large amount of money on just postage that we could have used towards something else since we are paying for this wedding ourselves. It just sucks seeing money wasted on something so simple :/
Post # 12
Etiquette requires guests to RSVP that is it. It doesn’t require them to RSVP in the way you prefer. A guest is only obligated to rsvp and are free to do so in any manner they wish whether it be in person, on the phone, via email or on an rsvp card.
I would rather them waste a cheap stamp rather than waste the resources that would be used to send in a simple card (coal, electicity, petrol).
Post # 13
@BakerBee16: Yes, it’s annoying that people aren’t using the stamps, but on the bright side, at least people are using the RSVPs. Be glad that you don’t have to hunt those people down three weeks before your wedding and confirm if they’re coming or not.
Post # 14
I didn’t care about how the cards got to me as long as I had them. A few stragglers just text’d us & that’s annoying. (Still better than the people I have to track down!) I think it was kinda silly for your FI to ask his coworkers that when he could have handed them to you.
Post # 15
@BakerBee16: You’ve already spent the money on stamps whether or not they get mailed. If it’s easier on yours guests to hand them to you, just accept it. If someone told me to take back my RSVP when I was handing it to them, I’d look at them like they had 3 heads.
Post # 16
So basically I should have saved the $75 and told my guests it’s up to them how they want to return the RSVP. I could have rented our plates and glassware for that price, blah!