Post # 1
Sorry, I keep posting in multiple categories- I am just so frustrated, upset, etc!!! Anyone else have this problem???
Background: we choose a small under 25 ppl destination wedding for multiple reasons… too many to invite if we have it here, and to keep the cost lower than having a huge weddign here.
First issue: my fh’s friend (of 10 yrs) rsvpd “no” to our wedding. Then he changed his mind and rsvpd “yes, with his wife”. So I went ahead and added 2 additional guests and paid for their meals, all to make my fh happy. Now, not only do I have to pay for them, but they are planning on making it a family vacation- bringing their 2 teenagers and brother. I told fh, we are not paying for another 3 meals, especially @ $160 pp, and I have never even met these 3 additional people, but they keep talking about how excited they are and bringing their 3 guests!!! FH has told them no, but they are persistent … then, this may seem really selfish, but they registered to give us a $200 gift card. I totally appreciate this, but, I just feel like they are already costing us and extra $320 for their meals that we didn’t budget for, and if they bring their family, it will be $480 on top of their $320 cost. That’s five people total; I don’t even have five family members going?!? Can I just uninvite all of them? Seriously??? Is it too late?
Second issue: after venting to everyone (friends and family) about the first issue, one of my close friends tells me that she invited her brother. He is coming along for the “vacation” part, but informed him that he is not going to be able to attend our ceremony or reception. Great, I am glad she at least informed him. However, this is the issue. My aunt was nice enough to pay for the hotel rooms for my friends, so they can attend, as our wedding gift. This female friend is scheduled to share a room with two other female friends. Now, that she wants to bring her brother, he is plannign on tagging along and sharing the room. It is creatign all kinds of drama between friends- no one wants to share a room for a week with a guy (that they’ve never met), and I completely understand!
Post # 3
Wow! Can you tell the first couple that while you are excited to have them at your wedding, you can’t have their kids there? I mean, if it’s a desitination wedding and they want to enjoy the destination, I guess that’s one thing but to invite them to your wedding is a little much! I would just be really honest with them about your intentions for your wedding!
As for the other friend, same thing – you have to tell her that if she is having her brother they, he needs his own room. It’s not fair for her to expect him just to stay with her without getting the ok from the other roomies.
You really have no choice but to stick to your guns and be honest with everyone! Good luck!
Post # 4
I would definitely stick to your guns on this one. I don’t see any reason why their teenaged children can’t find another activity to do while their parents attend your wedding. We aren’t allowing children, and our guests who have an 11 and 13 year old are leaving them in the hotel room with a movie and room service (our wedding is at the same hotel). I would have FI call them (since it is his friend) and explain the situation.
As for your other friend… I almost feel like this is something that you should let your friends work out on their own. The girls who feel uncomfortable sharing the room with a strange guy (totally understandable) should talk to the girl bringing her brother and get it worked out. Can the brother bunk in with some of your guy friends maybe? Either way, I think it’s definitely NOT your problem to figure out!
Post # 5
To your first issue: I don’t see any problem with them coming on the actual vacation but just make clear that only the husband and wife are invited to the ceremony and reception. I would be happy that they are excited enough about the location to want to bring their kids and I promise you, those kids will be just as happy having pizza in the hotel. The teenagers and brother should be old enough to take care of themselves for one night.
Second issue: let her know that he needs his own room because you don’t feel comfortable imposing on the other girls. Tell here she is still welcome to stay in the room while he stays in a separate one but that he is not welcome in the group room.