Post # 1
I’m american and my FI is from Trinidad. We have a problem that we’ve encountered twice already and know we are going to face more of. People who we have not put on the guest list have approached FI and his parents asking to come to the wedding OR saying they are excited and will be there (even though they never received a STD or were verbally invited).
FI warned me that ppl from his culture are bold, not into the RSVP card or necessarily waiting to get invited. If they hear of a party, they’ll be there. In other words, people may just SHOW UP that haven’t received an invitation!!! This is making me nervous as hell! Our venue holds 160 max. Our guest list is at 185. Yes, we know 30-35% say no usually (crossing my fingers that holds true in our case as well!).
We are inviting many of his relatives/friends from Trinidad as well as many who are in the states. I know this is a cultural issue but have no clue how to deal with it without us offending anyone.
Does anyone have any suggestions??
Post # 3
@stressedbride2be: I would suggest spreading the word that the venue is limited and you’ve had to cap the number of guests. Since my family is from that culture, I could fully attest to what you’re experiencing. We’re having a destination wedding to escape some of the same hassles. Are you having it in Trinidad?
Best of luck hon!
Post # 4
I am also from the West Indian culture…this goes back to (Americans struggle with this) not having telephones. I still remember my grandparents house with 1 phone in the hall and 1 in grandads study…people just pass by because that is what their parents did and grandparents before that…it’s cultural. My solution ( we are having just 75 ppl) is to ask a relative back home to host a fete for us when we visit…that way everyone feels they are included and they can see us later. As your marriage goes on you will learn to love the warmth and laid back nature of our people…the hospitality his family and friends are expecting is a natural part of who we are. Everyone is always ready for company…and company usually happens…lack of many American style entertainments (or at least having to WAIT till someone ships it in a barrel) means that ppl entertain themselves with music, dancing, drinking rum etc and yes CHATTING (mamaguise). A fete at home should resolve everything ESPECIALLY if it is presented as “we don’t want people to spend a whole set of money going to the States so we are having something for them here …we HAVE NOT set a date for it yet but we goin’ do it fo sure” If folks back home think that you are trying to help them..they will respond with kindness and understanding. And with no specific date…could be a year, two years…we are notoriously late for everything.