Post # 1
We are hosting our wedding ceremony and reception in our yard. We live in a rural area about 20 mins from the nearest small town. Some of our guests are coming out from the city (located about an hour away) and many are coming from nearby towns (about 20 to 30 mins away).
A few of our guests and some members of the wedding party have asked to stay over on the wedding night. Some have asked to stay in the house, others to camp in the yard. My fiance and I are not comfortable with guests staying in the house as it is our wedding night, and even though we already live together, we feel it is still a special night and would like some privacy. Not to mention we don’t really want the added stress of hosting and entertaining guests that night after we already spent the entire day doing just that. On any other occasion we would not have a problem with it.
As for camping, although we have had parties in the past where guests have camped out in the yard, this situation is different as there will be limited space for tents/campers because of the reception tent and parking. Even if we can make the room for it we’re also worried the party won’t end when we shut down the bar for the night. We won’t really enjoy our wedding night if we’re worrying about whats going on in the backyard (some of our friends can get a bit rowdy lol)
The nearest motel is 20 mins away, and the majority of the guests asking to stay over live in the same town where the motel is located so its no use setting up accomodations for them there. The entire reason any of them want to stay over is so they can get hammered and not have to drive home. And we don’t want anyone to drink and drive. But we still want our guests to have a good time. I feel like a bit of a hypocrite asking people to go home at the end of the night when we are having an open bar. To make matters worse, after we said no some of these people pushed the issue or put a guilt trip on us and now we’re doubting our decision.
What should we do? Are we being rude or bad hosts? Is it unreasonable to expect them to be responsible and drive home that night?
Post # 2
I would never go for this, you aren’t obligated to host them for the evening. They need to arrange for a cab service if they are really unable to have a designated driver. Hold firm.
Post # 3
sarah74: Just tell them “Hey guys, are you serious? It’s our wedding night and we don’t plan on sharing it with anyone, even our closest friends and family.”
Have you checked out the cost of providing a shuttle to the nearest motel?
Post # 4
sarah74: I would say that you should maybe provide transportation for people so they don’t drink and drive. Then they would have no reason to stay over.
Post # 5
wow…… people asking to stay in your house? That is insane…..
I would tell them no….. a big giant no………..
Post # 6
A resounding NO to those that wish to invade your privacy on your wedding night. Sorry, but 20 minutes away isn’t a big deal, and a shuttle is a perfect solution. Look into it. That way, you’re still taking care of your guests and maintaining your sanity. Don’t waver to them. This is YOUR wedding night. Protect it! 🙂
Post # 7
Yes, a circulating shuttle to/from hotel makes perfect sense.
Post # 8
You could contact transportation services and rent a school bus to make trips to the nearest accommodations with blocks for guests.
In my area, there are Designated Driver companies like Keys to Us that you can rent for special events. I believe it can range in price depending on how many drivers you want and how far they are taking the guests, but I believe they start at $200.
You could combine these as well, have a bus for out of towners to the hotel and DD service for those that live closer that don’t want to drive.
They give you peace of mind that your guests are safe, but you get your much deserved privacy.
Post # 9
sarah74: If you can afford it maybe put on a mini bus back to the town where most of these people live/where the motel is? That way they can drink if they wish but you get out of them staying over at your house. It is rude of them to ask really – I would never think newlyweds want a bunch of drunk people staying in their house/yard on their wedding night!
Post # 10
No, you do not have to let them stay.
You don’t have to even provide a shuttle! It would be a vet generous thing, but 100% not required. They are adults. Then can act like it and figure out their own transportation.
Post # 11
I would hire a school bus that continually circulates back and forth between hotel and your home.
Post # 12
If it isn’t too expensive, I would do a shuttle for them that drops off at a central point – “town” makes me think they should be able to walk home from where they get picked up/dropped off.
if it is a little more expensive than you would like – then hey, you are already paying for booze. You can always offer to let them know who lives near them to carpool.
Post # 13
i would tell them no they cannot stay. however are you serving alcohol at your house for the wedding or is someone coming in with a liquor license to do so? if you are serving you really should provide a shuttle for your guests back to the town for liability reasons. if one of them got in an accident drinking and driving and died they can potentially come after you financially. many people who throw weddings or even large parties at their home without a liquor license get insurance. it runs around$200. you really want to protect yourself.
Post # 14
Yes, it does sound unreasonable of you. Sorry, but this should of been a consideration when you decided on a rural, at home wedding. You cant expect people to “celebrate you” & then just cut off the hospitality when the bar closes. Just sounds super selfish to me.
Post # 15
sarah74: get a shuttle back to town. Problem solved.