Guests wanting to come visit day before the wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
1190 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza

mademoisellesacha:  What about planning a small get together with a set time that everyone can come swing by?  Like a 2 hour period that people could come in and out to visit and explain that the rest of the day you will be preparing for the wedding. 


Post # 3
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

mademoisellesacha: I think you’ll have way too much to do the day before the wedding to host a dinner at home. I stayed at my grandma’s place the last few days up until the wedding and we kept it strictly to family as it would have been too much work to feed more than we already were. Plan a dinner out, at some nice but not expensive place, and invite everyone to join you there. I get that you don’t want to burden them with more expenses, but if you go anywhere for a trip I think it’s your responsibility to budget for food – not expect your extended family to feed you (the wedding being the exception of course). 

Post # 4
42117 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think it’s reasonable that people are expecting you to host so they can visit the day before the wedding.  I’d be very careful about suggesting you meet at a restaurant to have dinner together, as it is likelt to be misinterpreted that you are hosting and picking up the tab.


Post # 5
6158 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i didn’t have much to do the day before my wedding.  i was able to run around, pick up my aunt and uncle from the airport, show them my new house, before taking everyone back to the hotel.

saturday morning, i went out to breakfast with mom, brother, aunt, uncle, and cousins because i didn’t have to start getting ready until noon.

but it sounds like you have a lot to do the day before.  can your parents take care of entertaining the relatives while you do your own thing with your BMs.  then just join everyone for dinner?

Post # 6
2173 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Well, you live with your family…  Who would host these people, you or your family?

Post # 7
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

mademoisellesacha:  We had my out of town family over for brunch the day before my wedding. I included my bridesmaids because then we headed out from brunch to get our nails done, etc. Best of both worlds. I got to visit with them pre-wedding without feeling like I had to spend all day with them when I needed to do other things.

Post # 8
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yeah that’s hard, that sort of happened to me too! You want to visit, but you have so much going on you’ll feel bad you can’t probably host.  Do your parents/grandparents or whoever you are living with mind if other family stops by?  You can explain they are welcome to visit, but you’ll in and out all day.  

As far as your cousins go, maybe you could invite them to get manis and pedis with you?  Just pick only one or two things to help with.  That way you can visit and they can feel useful but you aren’t trying to entertain them all day.

Is there anything you’ll need help with the day before?  Finishing programs, decorations, escort cards?  For the last few days before the wedding, my family was constantly at my parents house helping me with last minute stuff.  It was great because we got to visit and, well, I needed help if I ever wanted to sleep!  I’m not sure how your family is, but weddings are typically big family affairs and people like to help!  So maybe you could say that from X-Y you’ll be working on Z if they want to come over to help and/or just visit.  That’s what I did!

Post # 9
1689 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I handled it by telling people no, but I know that’s hard to do, especially when it isn’t your house.

I think most people understand that the days before a wedding are not the time to socialize.  I’d tell that that I am excited they are coming and I can’t wait to see them, but please don’t be offended if I’m no where around the days before the wedding.  Once the wedding is over, I’d love to catch up.

Don’t worry about including your cousins with the bridemaid stuff.  You are already hosting a long expensive party.  It’s not too much to ask people to entertain themselves the few hours before. 

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