Post # 1
So I’m kind of in a little pickle here.
I don’t live with my fiancé, so there’s no real set boundary regarding the bride and groom’s house being very busy or anything like that, I live with my family. Our wedding is a Sunday, and many relatives and guests are getting into town on Friday and Saturday, the two days before the wedding. Many of these family members are now trying to arrange to come to our home on the Saturday, have a dinner, and just generally want to be in and out of our home that day. On the Saturday, myself and my bridesmaids are doing hair trials/errands/manis/pedis, and I anticipate it being a very stressful day.
That being said, obviously I don’t want to tell these people who have put all this effort into coming that they can’t come to our house, I invited them to my wedding because I really want to see them! However, Saturday is going to be a really busy day, and I’m not sure how to handle this. Some are cousins, who aren’t bridesmaids, but want to join us for the bridesmaids prep-type stuff, which is fine but I don’t know how I can entertain while running around like a chicken with my head cut off 😛
Did anybody else have this sort of issue? How did you handle it?
We’d like to plan a dinner out, to a local low-key restaurant, that evening in order to see everyone. At the same time, there are many people on a tight budget and I don’t want to ask them to spend more just to see us the day before.
Help me out bees!
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza
mademoisellesacha: What about planning a small get together with a set time that everyone can come swing by? Like a 2 hour period that people could come in and out to visit and explain that the rest of the day you will be preparing for the wedding.
Post # 3
mademoisellesacha: I think you’ll have way too much to do the day before the wedding to host a dinner at home. I stayed at my grandma’s place the last few days up until the wedding and we kept it strictly to family as it would have been too much work to feed more than we already were. Plan a dinner out, at some nice but not expensive place, and invite everyone to join you there. I get that you don’t want to burden them with more expenses, but if you go anywhere for a trip I think it’s your responsibility to budget for food – not expect your extended family to feed you (the wedding being the exception of course).
Post # 4
I don’t think it’s reasonable that people are expecting you to host so they can visit the day before the wedding. I’d be very careful about suggesting you meet at a restaurant to have dinner together, as it is likelt to be misinterpreted that you are hosting and picking up the tab.
Post # 5
i didn’t have much to do the day before my wedding. i was able to run around, pick up my aunt and uncle from the airport, show them my new house, before taking everyone back to the hotel.
saturday morning, i went out to breakfast with mom, brother, aunt, uncle, and cousins because i didn’t have to start getting ready until noon.
but it sounds like you have a lot to do the day before. can your parents take care of entertaining the relatives while you do your own thing with your BMs. then just join everyone for dinner?
Post # 6
Well, you live with your family… Who would host these people, you or your family?
Post # 7
mademoisellesacha: We had my out of town family over for brunch the day before my wedding. I included my bridesmaids because then we headed out from brunch to get our nails done, etc. Best of both worlds. I got to visit with them pre-wedding without feeling like I had to spend all day with them when I needed to do other things.
Post # 8
Yeah that’s hard, that sort of happened to me too! You want to visit, but you have so much going on you’ll feel bad you can’t probably host. Do your parents/grandparents or whoever you are living with mind if other family stops by? You can explain they are welcome to visit, but you’ll in and out all day.
As far as your cousins go, maybe you could invite them to get manis and pedis with you? Just pick only one or two things to help with. That way you can visit and they can feel useful but you aren’t trying to entertain them all day.
Is there anything you’ll need help with the day before? Finishing programs, decorations, escort cards? For the last few days before the wedding, my family was constantly at my parents house helping me with last minute stuff. It was great because we got to visit and, well, I needed help if I ever wanted to sleep! I’m not sure how your family is, but weddings are typically big family affairs and people like to help! So maybe you could say that from X-Y you’ll be working on Z if they want to come over to help and/or just visit. That’s what I did!
Post # 9
I handled it by telling people no, but I know that’s hard to do, especially when it isn’t your house.
I think most people understand that the days before a wedding are not the time to socialize. I’d tell that that I am excited they are coming and I can’t wait to see them, but please don’t be offended if I’m no where around the days before the wedding. Once the wedding is over, I’d love to catch up.
Don’t worry about including your cousins with the bridemaid stuff. You are already hosting a long expensive party. It’s not too much to ask people to entertain themselves the few hours before.
Post # 10
Thanks for all the suggestions!
My family is hugely involved in the planning and set up, and we may have construction happening on our property so my father will be involved with that while my mother is occupied with doing her own primping as MOB (rightfully so!). We do have an out of towner’s brunch planned the morning after the wedding, and all of these people will be attending (it’s actually hosted at their B&B).
I think at this point I may suggest they come by for a few hours in the afternoon, and then kick everybody out (politely, haha) because I know I’m going to be pretty stressed and as much as I love my family I really just want to hide away with my bridesmaids and watch Disney movies while trying to keep my cool.
Most people who are coming aren’t super familiar with the city, so I hesitate to ask them to go all around picking up and dropping off things.
The venue is a turn-key operation, so most of the helping is done by them. We’re pretty low key, so things like programs aren’t a concern, nor are decorations, and escort cards are being completed in advance by my FI’s mother (she’s a casual artist with calligrapy skills!) so most of the tasks are related to myself/the bridesmaids. We will, however, be doing a lot of running around to get flowers and dogs to and from the groomers.