- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I had several guests wear white to our wedding. It wasn't a huge deal because my family is from Thailand, and in Thailand, it's normal for guest to wear white (their "no no" color is black, which represents mourning (of course)). Anyway, there was an engaged gal (now wife of Mr. Peng's coworker) that wore white and my mom asked me if she was here for our wedding, or just a guest of the winery. Even my foreign mom knew it was weird for American guests to wear white to weddings.
We can be honest here: How do you really feel about guests wearing white at your wedding? I guess sometimes I think if it's intentional, its kind of rude. I mean, the girl that wore white to ours was set to be married in about 6 months after ours; I'm pretty sure she was aware of the etiquette.
Would you care/did you care if girls wore white dresses to your wedding?
Like you said Penguin... I would have been offended if I think someone wore white to be intentionally rude. How someone doesn't think about their color choice boggles my mind slightly.
I didn't have anyone wear white, though my mother-in-law asked me if she could wear a black pantsuit to the wedding. This upset me and I was able to get her to switch to a jewel tone dress that she looked great in.
Also, I had a family member and their significant other show up in jeans. And that was after they missed the entire ceremony. Said family member also wore jeans to her brother's wedding 2 years ago because in her words "she never liked the girl he was marrying".
People are strange.
Honestly - I would feel more embarrased for, rather than mad at, the person wearing white. I'm sure more people than just your mom looked at her and thought - why on earth would she wear white to someone's wedding. It makes them look either totally clueless or desperate for attention.
I wore white to my friends' wedding!
I didn't know the ettiquette at the time, and I own ZERO outfits that are appropriate for a wedding. My (then boyfriend now FI) took me to White House Black Market to try on "fancy" dresses for the occassion. I picked out a white chiffon short dress with black detailing on the skirt. I felt proud that I found something classy to wear (and I bought my first pair of heels that day as I recall). When I got to the reception the girl next to me said "you know you shouldn't wear white to a wedding, right?" I was SO EMBARASSED!! I hadn't heard of that before, and I had been so proud just to be in a dress. My friend (the Bride) said she didn't mind and that I looked great (she knew I didn't wear dresses...)
Give your guests the benefit of the doubt, maybe they don't know!
A relative at our wedding wore an off-white dress to our wedding. She is kinda crazy though so I expected it (she did it to Mr. PN's brother earlier in the year)...
IMG_8298.jpg (137.7 KB, 255 downloads) 2 years old closeup.jpg (79.9 KB, 169 downloads) 2 years old 
I'm kind of mixed on the whole "don't wear white to a wedding" thing. I understand it, but I think, like in MightySapphire's case, it wasn't a case of intentionally wearing white to upstage the bride/take away from the bride/whatever. The dress wasn't plain white, and there was no way that she was going to be mistaken for the bride. I think there's a big grey area as to "how much white is too white to wear to a wedding."
In all honesty (and this is just my personal opinion), I think the idea is kind of like not wearing white shoes after Labor Day--some people still abide by it, but I think it's something that we're going to see fade away.
Even though my dress was pale blue and it was a intimate-mini-wedding I felt reeeaaaally unconfortable when my MIL was wearing a white skirt suit, what was she trying to say??? in all the photos she looked like if she was the bride!!! I hated it!!! I kept thinking she might be in competition with me for our whole lives. But now 8 years later I've noticed that she is a real good woman and treat me like a daughter and that she goes to every wedding wearing white (exept for her dauther wedding).
I didn't really notice what my guests were wearing. I don't remember any white, but if anyone did wear white I wouldn't care anyway. And besides, my dress was ivory and I was OBVIOUSLY the bride. I think that the not wearing white business is just plain silly. The guests should wear whatever they like! As long as they aren't totally crazy, they'll wear something appropriate, but I highly doubt anyone would wear a wedding dress to a wedding.
I had no idea this was an etiquette flaw until I came on these boards! I totally could have been that clueless guest, luckily I am not into white dresses so I don't think I have ever done that. I also have no idea if anyone wore white to my wedding though, because it just didn't matter that day!
I think it's TOTALLY tacky when you know better. If you truly were clueless than what are ya going to do? If you DO know about the cutsom of opting out of white I think you have about 92356 bazillion other cute choices out there and white should be the absolute last one on your list.
Yeah -- I think it's really tacky to wear white to a wedding. I had two girls that wore white dresses with black detailing/prints to mine. It didn't really make me angry, but I just thought it made them look bad.
I agree there are so many other options out there for colors, do you really have to pick white? Right now we are trying to pick a dress for his sister and it is proving to be a little difficult. The first dress she picked made me laugh out loud! It was a black mini-dress with a slit up the side and backless to the point of a little crack peeking through. If it was that dress or a white one I would rather have her pick white!
I do think it's kind of rude.
For my sister's wedding, my aunts actually called me to make sure they weren't stepping on my mother or the bridal party's toes when picking their outfit colors. It's just going that extra step to show you care about the couple, and want their day to be as close to the vision they planned for so long as they do!
damask_flutes.jpg (1592.9 KB, 63 downloads) 2 years old 101_0676.jpg (713.3 KB, 35 downloads) 2 years old alencon_lace_rose_pillow2.jpg (958.2 KB, 36 downloads) 2 years old ivory_black_damask_pillow2.jpg (1626.8 KB, 33 downloads) 2 years old 
As long as they don't wear a long, pure white dress that looks bride-y, I think it's fine. The thought didn't even enter my mind on my own wedding day - there was so much going on, I don't know if I even noticed what my guests were wearing.
My future MIL keeps saying that she wants to wear ivory and my dress is ivory (which I told her), but my philosophy is that she is the one that is going to be embarressed by wearing the same color as me.
I agree I think It's a little tacky/rude if they do it knowing of the etiquette, but then how do you really know if knew or not? I'm crossing my fingers no one wears white to ours, but if they do I'll probably be slightly bothered by it then remember it's not like they will get mistaken for me - the bride!
I think it's extremely tacky to where a lot of white to someone's wedding.
If it's a white blouse or a portion of the dress is white, I think that's fine.
My best friend's MIL wore an ivory gown to her wedding - so bad.
lasposa2.jpg (5.9 KB, 156 downloads) 2 years old
I didn't care if people wore white, but I agree with ES -- it looks really bad for them! I cared more that my MIL wore pink (because my dress was light pink). She asked if it was okay before she got it, and I was so happy that she found a dress 2 weeks before the wedding that I said yes. In the posed pictures though, it looks kind of weird. Looking back, I wish I had in fact said something. Oh well.
I personally find it a little tacky, just because I feel like most people know better and should wear another color just to be polite JUST IN CASE the bride cares. Why would you want to do something that might upset the bride on such an important day for her? Just play it safe and be considerate, in my opinion. :)
I don't think guests should wear white to a wedding, unless it is cultural. There are so many other color choices and white isn't super common for dresses, so I don't think its to much to ask.
I was actually MOH in my best friend's wedding about a year ago, and when planning our dresses (which were lavender), I inquired about her preference for our shoes. She said she didn't want them dyed, but didn't want them white either - that only hers should be white - so she said BLACK. Black shoes, with a pale lavender dress.
Eventually, when I double-checked prior to purchasing shoes, she said the other bridesmaids weren't happy about the black either, so we were free to choose our own white shoes.
I, however, don't think I would be offended if anyone wore white to my wedding - I'd feel embarassed for them, as someone else said, but I wouldn't think they were trying to upstage me! Who can upstage the bride?? 
One of my lifelong best friends got married a good while back. She was the daughter of two interior designers and they threw the most amazing wedding I've ever attended and myself and my sister were both bridesmaids. We're talking a wedding costing over 100k and this was back at the end of the 1990's.
My friend had this unique yet wild idea. She wanted us, the bridesmaids to wear ivory organza strapless ball gowns with a huge pink tulle train (peony in the middle) trailing off the back of the gowns.
WE looked like brides. It was hilarious. You'd think you were attending a cult mass wedding or something. In fact, I was in the elevator at the Hotel Peabody and the governor happened to be in town that night and I was in the elevator with him at the same time. He looked at me, my then h and him in a dark suit and me in the bridesmaid gown and said "Congratulations. You are one beautiful bride!"
My friend's parents, the designers, tried to talk her out of her "unique" idea and have us wear the same ballgowns in pale pink but she wouldn't have it. There were a few different looks given to us as we walked down the aisle though. I actually heard one guest mutter "ummm" as we walked down the aisle.
Incidentally, this friend of mine now laughs at this. She will be one of my bridesmaids (again 
giggle) and is THRILLED that she gets a new little black dress!
I honestly wouldn't care. Why is it such a big deal anyway? As it's been said 100 times before...it's not like people will mistake them for you. I just saw a wedding {it was BEAUTIFUL} where all the bridesmaids wore white. It was stunning.
i wouldn't care at my wedding, but i'm totally offended when i see guests who do it at weddings i attend!
I don't think I really noticed what anybody was wearing, unless it was hideously inappropriate. One of DH's son's friends came in ratty jeans, and I remember that. Psycho SIL came in black (for a late afternoon, country club wedding) but I had predicted that she would. MIL wore some perfectly nice looking but unfortunate sparkly thing, and managed to get sparkles all over absolutely everyone. I don't believe that anybody wore white, but I don't think I would have really cared. I do agree that wearing something too bride-like generally looks bad for that person - like wearing ratty jeans, or an evening gown - it just makes you stand out in a way that can make other people wonder if you have sort of a pathological need for attention, or just are a little short on good taste.
@mightysapphire - I don't think I'd worry too much about your dress. Something that's white with black embroidery is not all that bride-like, and can look very chic. I have a couple of very cute mostly white dresses from White House Black Market, and I don't think either of them are "bridal" in appearance, and I wouldn't have been in any way taken aback to see someone wearing one at my wedding.
Well, let's see, my wedding colors are chartreuse green and white, so my girls are wearing green dresses, and my MOH (also my mother) is wearing a white dress. When people tell her she can't wear white (which is funny since I picked out her dress) because the bride wears white, she happily informs them that I'm wearing ivory, so the white dress is up for grabs. Oh, and my FMIL is planning on wearing a champagne dress, which is very close in color to my ivory wedding dress. Do I care? Not at all, because in our wedding, the guys are wearing light tan suits with chocolate brown ties, and all of the warm colored whites are going together really well. I actually asked her to wear the champagne. I think our guests will get the hint that I'm the bride when I walk down the aisle ;).
IMG_0230.JPG (1456.1 KB, 65 downloads) 2 years old PENOIR_1.JPG (1093.6 KB, 56 downloads) 2 years old 
i agree with the other posters on here. if it was unintentional and wasn't bride-y at all then i wouldn't mind. however, if it was a long white/ ivory dress then i think that's rude. i also think it's rude if it's the MIL that wears white or ivory because she should know better (not that anyone would mistaken her for the bride... but still!)
White is TACKY! And RED IS HORRID (unless red is the theme of the wedding.) My silly maid of honor says she will be at the door turning around 'grandparents' if they are in white/red.
No one will notice if a guest wears white unless it is a bridal gown. I don't remember what any of my guests were wearing because I was too busy marrying my best friend. I had my eyes on him all day and night and was too excited and happy to even care slightly about the attire of my guests. I was pleased no one showed up naked...but that's as far as it went. ;)
And it's not 1950...etiquette has changed a LOT. Tacky is all a matter of opinion. There are people out there who adore white and don't think that red is horrid. I didn't even have wedding colors - my bridesmaids wore black with a gray/silverish accent (which some people would call horrid I'm sure) and my flowers were rainbow. It was perfect for me and my now husband but it may have been tacky in some people's minds.
Forget about what your guests wear and just enjoy your day!
I agree with what some people said about being more offended if someone wore ratty jeans or something to that effect than someone wearing a white dress.... unless it was intentional or really really bride-y.
I have a lot of trouble finding dresses that look good on me, so if I found a white dress that looked fabulous, I wouldn't want to not wear it to a wedding just because it happens to be white.
I just have to say that I worry about my older sister trying to take the attention from me. She likes to show that she has nice "girls"...if you know what I mean! And I just hope she shows up in something where they arent spilling out! :) I wouldnt care if a guest would wear white...but if someone in my own family did...I would be pissed! But i def see what your saying about the girl who showed up at yours Mrs. Penguin...she was getting married soon!
IMG_2139.JPG (1301.1 KB, 43 downloads) 2 years old IMG_2137.JPG (1227.7 KB, 25 downloads) 2 years old Oleg_Cassini.JPG (15.6 KB, 31 downloads) 2 years old 
This is a BIG no-no with my sister and I - we are sticklers for this at other ppls weddings and we even joke that she'll dye anyones clothes who wears white to my wedding hahaha. We're (in the joke) going to get her a spray bottle wit Rit Dye.
Seriously though I think it is rude - especially for the girl that went to Pengy's wedding, no cool.
I think it's weird for a guest to wear white/ivory to a wedding (unless it's in your culture). I would feel sad for her. It's pretty much known that the bride is likely to wear white/ivory.
Knowing me, I won't notice what guests are wearing. Unless, like SeaBreeze said, they are wearing a long, flowing white gown.
If you are aware of the rule, you should try and avoid wearing white. Guests might look at you funny. :) I don't know if I'd say it's rude, but it's definitely not in good taste.
I honestly couldn't tell you anything that my guests were wearing, everything was a big blur, lol. But from the pics i've seen, nobody wore white. I guess as long as you're not wearing a big white fancy dress then it shouldn't be that big of a deal. I mean I wouldn't disown anybody for it, l mean not everyone has their social etiquettes down pat. Some people just have no clue about those types of rules.
I went to a wedding last summer where one of the guests wore white. Everyone gave her the stink eye. What's worse is that she was engaged so she should have known that it wasn't appropriate. In the middle of the evening I was in the bathroom and she was in there because both of the rhinestone straps on her dress had snapped. karma.
Mrs.Bee, I'm with you! I get more offended when I see it at other weddings than I do when I think of it happening at mine! i guess that's because I know how I feel about it, but I worry for the feelings of the bride at other weddings! :)
I've worn an ivory dress... It was linen with blue and green embroidery, though (not at all bride-like). It never occurred to me it was a no-no. I just thought it was pretty and summer-y and I was happy to be wearing something new. I usually look like a hobo.
As long as people make an effort to spiffy up, I don't give a hot damn what they wear ;)
I wore a white with pink embroidery sundress to a friend's wedding a few years back. It was an outdoors noon wedding in the middle of summer and this was the only lightweight, light-colored dress I owned at the time...and I was very, very broke.
I was aware of the "don't wear white" rule, but I had assumed that applied to 100% white or ivory dresses that could be mistaken for a wedding dress. In any case, my friend (the bride) nor any of the guests did not seem to care.
I agree that white sundresses with lots of colored embroidery aren't bridal enough to be a big problem. I'm sure the brides at those weddings understood! :)
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ticatica | 13 |
| MrsOliveBird | 11 |
| aussiebee | 10 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 10 |
| janetsnakehole | 8 |
| Scottish_lassie | 7 |
| GelaMac | 6 |
| j_jaye | 5 |
| MrsMSmith | 5 |
| Rivendeler | 5 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| simpleandchic | 2 |
| MrsOliveBird | 1 |
 Myrnac13 |
1 |
