(Closed) Guilty Giftee RANT!

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee

I hate the “what do you really want” question too! I guess it’s a way of asking our preference priorities from the registry though.

Personally, I would make sure you have plenty of items in the $100-$200 range depending on the ages of your guests. I usually spend $150 on a wedding gift, give or take a little depending on whether I actually attend the wedding or not. Most of the gifts purchased from our registry are around $100 for people not attending and $200 for those who are.

Post # 4
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

maybe those people asking want to be sure they get you something you’ll be “really” excited about.  For me it was my china, I was so excited by my china but was afraid that the cost would throw people off, so when I was asked I would tell them, “I really want the formal china, and I wouldn’t mind if people bought it for me in groups since it’s so expensive.”

 

Post # 6
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I actually have asked my friends this because I want to get them whatever they’re most excited for.  People asked me, too – and I was very quick to let them know I want that Panini maker from Crate and Barrel as well as the dishes we registered for!! 🙂  That is “What I REALLY want!”  That is my interpretation of the question at least.  B/c I do agree – everything on my registry I really want…but if you want to know what I want most, well that is a different answer! 🙂

 

Post # 7
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

People made a fuss about me registering at Williams-Sonoma b/c it’s so expensive.

Ummmm I ddin’t register for pans there, people. GADGETS and COOKBOOKS for like $20. Clueless, really.

Post # 8
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’ve gotten this a lot too.  My bridesmaids have asked me so they can tell other people? I guess it means that for some people there are things on there that they reeeeaaaalllly want, and other stuff is just stuff they need.  If that’s not the case, just say anything off the registry is great, thanks! But it is all a bit awkward, I agree.

Post # 9
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think Kara has it right.  They want to get you something that you REALLY want, not just towels because you need them.  We registered through wishpot.com which has a little drop down menu so that you can rank each item as “I neeeed it” “I really really want it” “I want it” and “I’m thinking about it”.  I don’t love the category names and refuse to use “I neeeed it” but I’m hoping people will see the tag and not ask me that question.  It makes me feel so uncomfortable and I never know what to say! 

Post # 10
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

If you think receiving a gift is bad.  What about straight up cash?! My FI is Vietnamese, and in their culture they give money. Lots of money.  It took me a long time to feel comfortable with this idea. I have met his family, they aren’t rich by any means, how are they going to give us so much? Anyway, my FI explained that it is a tradition.  People save for family weddings for years in advanced sometimes. 

Anyway, my point is.  Accept the gifts they give you and try not to feel bad.  

Post # 11
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

i creeated a custom registry on wishpot for those “what do you really want” questions.  because, to be perfectly honest, while we needed kitchen towels and a toaster and a blender and pots and pans…it was also hard to get excited about them.

Here are some of the things we registerested for on Wishpot.  Mostly our friend bought us these and i’m sure it was a much more fun gift to purchase than bath towels!

  • Disneyland annual passes
  • Rome (HBO show)
  • The Sopranos complete seasons
  • Wii and Wii Fit (we didn’t get this 🙁 )
  • Camping gear

I didn’t make the Wishpot list super public (put it on our website but not shower invitations or other wedding info) so it worked out nicely for the people who wanted to get us something different, but we still got lots of boring, necessary things.

Post # 12
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Ohh, LatteLove, I was excited about the “boring, necessary things” until I thought about the possibility of better things… Disneyland passes would be great! Aw man, I may need to start a wishpot registry now. But then again, we really DO need the “boring” stuff, and I don’t want to take away from that. augh, I don’t know!

 

and LLauRRa: don’t feel guilty – if people are asking for more and pushing like that it means that they really do WANT to get you something. 

Post # 13
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

People are asking what we really really want off of our registries too. And I feel that we didn’t register for anything we don’t need/want. We don’t have a ton of stuff on our registries but what we do have on there is stuff that we want or we would not have registered for it!

We did a range of $1.99 to $399 and that includes the smallest kitchen gadget to the Kitchen Aid mixer.

Post # 14
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Oy! I’m having a really small, family only wedding across the country from all of our friends, but friends from out of town, who aren’t coming to wedding, have asked where I’m registered so they can stills send a gift.  AWKWARD!  We registered for family and I kinda do WANT gifts but I don’t want to tell people “don’t worry about presents really” and then say (since they asked) “but we’re registered at Target.”  Oh wedding gifting, why are you so awkward!!!

Post # 15
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Before I got engaged, I actually asked a friend what she wanted off her registry, just like you described people are doing to you. I was totally clueless about gift-giving, to me it was mandatory and completely impersonal since guests don’t REALLY pick out the gifts they choose to buy, they’re picked out by the couple. It made sense to me at the time to ask because I figured out of all the stuff they registered for, maybe they NEEDED some things more than others. But now I realize that was kind of idiotic and I’m a little embarassed.

 

Post # 16
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m picky about what I buy people as wedding gifts. It’s always something off their registry, but I try to get the most personal or “them” thing on there. I love personal and meaningful gifts, so I don’t ever really wanna be the gifter who gives the couple one of many plates, or towels or whatnot. 

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