(Closed) Guilty post…have you ever tried to ‘sneak’ something into your wedding…

posted 9 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My fiance and I run everything by each other, but with my FMIL I tend to focus on things I know she’ll like and gloss over other parts.  πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Interesting. I mean, some things I’ve just not shared with people because I don’t want to hear their opinions ruin it for me. For example, I told my mom about this great ceremony tradition that I want to do (Ms. Cowboy Boot shared it in the blogs yesterday) and she wasn’t the biggest fan, but my fiance loved it. I’m sick of hearing that they might not like something, so i just won’t tell them.

Post # 5
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

my mom really wanted chair covers for my wedding, I didn’t care about it, and didn’t want to spend the money so she volunteered to pay for it, but wanted me to tell my dad we paid for it so he doesn’t get mad at her for spending the money.  Other than that, my fiancee is pretty easy going, there are small things I haven’t mentioned to him only because I know he wouldn’t really care/notice

Post # 6
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

I think I’ve talked about just about everything with my fiance. Maybe I’ve kinda told him what I wanted more than asked…My fiance doesnt really care all that much and is more than happy to let me have "my day" (I’ve tried insisting it’s our day, but whatever) so I don’t have many problems. I’ve involved as few people as possible in the wedding planning so as to avoid as much confrontation as possible. my mom has been there for me the whole way and while she’ll tell me if she doesn’t really like something, she’ll let me make the final decision either way.

Post # 7
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

i’ve "shaved" a few bucks off of the real cost of something… 

Post # 8
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Well, sometimes I order stuff and go, "hey look what i got us" and he just goes "cool whatever". He’s really laid back as long as I don’t do anything too crazy. I probably would sneak something in last minute if i felt it was worth it. I don’t have to consult him about everything becuase his answer is always the same. He’s easy going and would rather I just make all the magic happen than me send him 10 emails a day with stuff about the wedding. It’d just drive him nuts. I know it’ll all come together nicely in the end.  

Post # 9
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I run everything by my fiance to keep him involved; I’m planning it all since it’s happening where I live, he lives in another country, we’re talking different continent as in Europe, so little sad he can’t be here so we chat about it on skype everyday

Post # 10
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I definitely talk everything through with my FI, but I am not inclined to run anything past my FIL’s until after the plans have been set and deposits paid.  πŸ™‚  Just my thang…

Post # 11
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

haha….i don’t tell my FIL’s anything unless they ask. I don’t like the snide looks I get because i’m doing more inexpensive options or not spending $300 on a CARRIAGE RIDE that lasts 10 minutes. So I’ve just stopped telling everyone all the little details and i’m like, "oh, you’ll see"

Post # 12
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I planned almost my WHOLE WEDDING without us telling ANYONE about it.  Yep, you read that right.  See what had happened was…

We were on the phone and he said he really wanted to marry me.  I said soon?  He said YES REALLY SOON!  I have always had my heart set on July 4th as a wedding date, so I told him we’d have to start planning NOW to book everything (that was in December).  He said, ok do it baby!  So there I was, without a proposal, a ring, or anyone knowing, and I planned like 80% of my wedding while deployed in another country.  We wanted to tell everyone after he physically actually proposed…which he couldn’t do until I got leave in APRIL.  Yeah, that’s short notice, but we’re planning a small DW anyway, so we didn’t figure in this economy that people would mind.

Well, my mom decided (out of the blue) to google my name and found our wedding website.  OOPS.  So THAT surprise was ruined, and for a while my parents thought they weren’t invited.  But when she hinted that she knew I told her all about it and then she was all excited and such.  But for that little bit of time, I could tell she was hurt I hadn’t shared.  Would I do that all again?  No.  I would have told my mom and asked her to keep it hush hush.  And I do feel guilty about how they found out.

Since I had already planned everything, I guess you could say that we slipped EVERYTHING past my parents, but since we are paying for the wedding, we have final approval authority anyway, so I don’t feel like I’m being sneaky.  We’re planning a wedding that will make us happy, so we don’t have to check with anyone but each other.

Well that was a long answer to a short question, huh?

Post # 13
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Like ejs4y8, I sometimes order stuff and then show FI once it comes in.  I have a hard time describing the look I’m going for, but once he can actually SEE what I’m talking about, he’s on board with it. 

We are also keeping some things secret from people so there’s still a WOW factor.  I don’t want everyone knowing everything we’re doing! 

Post # 14
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Yes, I’m guilty. One thing my fiance does is if I show him something he’ll give his opinion, but if you wait a few months he’ll totally forget he saw it before and might give a completely different opinion. Sooo…yea, there have been a few times he said he wasn’t crazy about something that I really liked so I just waited a while and brought it up again (maybe without showing him other choices) and when he said he liked it this time I went for it!

Also, I allotted $1,000 for flowers and although he was fine with the overall budget he didn’t know how much I planned to spend on just the flowers. I told him right as I was about to place the order and he flipped out, saying it was too much money. I however love flowers and think we need them to dress up our venue. So he talked me down to $500, but I kinda "amended" our order…twice. It was only an additional $120, but I just couldn’t take the idea of not having enough flowers for the bouquets and such. He met with a financial advisor the other day and much to both of our surprises he told my FI basically not to cheap out on the big things like a wedding so my FI hasn’t been as concerned about the cost of everything since then. Phew.

Oh, and I try not to mention the cost of anything to either of our parents, especially his mom. She thought we should get married on the lawn of our apartment complex because it’s "so beautiful". Not that there’s anything wrong with that if that’s what you like, but I’ve been dreaming of a wedding at a local historic venue for as long as I can remember.

Post # 15
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

@Mighty Saphire — that is the second time I’ve heard your story and I just love it — I think it will be such a great one for your kids and grandkids πŸ˜€  I wish we had something that fabu {even if it was a smidge painful…}

Anything WE are paying for my FI has to know about as he is the ATM and I’m just the cardholder πŸ™‚  I tend to keep some things from people but it’s kind of hard as I’m blogging for all my friends and family to keep up to date…chances are someone is going to find out about something…. πŸ˜‰

Post # 16
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Well, I know that if I explained how much each thing cost seperatly, he might balk. We discussed a total amount we were going to spend and he put his share into my account, so if I feel like paying an extra amount for calligraphy on the invitations (something I don’t think he’d want to pay for) as long as I fit it into the budget, we’re all good! πŸ™‚

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