Guy looking for proposal advice!

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

You don’t have to do anything crazy or over the top to make it special. My FI had planned a special dinner at home on a Friday night ( I didn’t think anything of it because it had been a long work week and it marked 8 months together), he had flowers and candles and I still had no idea anything was up ( we always have flowers around) and even when he brought out the chocolate strawberries with the ring box open in the middle of them I still had no idea and yelled “ ARE YOU SERIOUS!”. It was perfect because it was so us, eating dinner, me in my zombie PJ’s.  Just go with it.  In my opinion women who are disappointed with their proposals are just being too OCD about it. It’s the thought that counts, not that he didn’t skydive down to you with a rose in his mouth and land on his knee to ask you, or that there weren’t dolphins in the background when he asked you on the beach….


From the heart and that’s all you need.. Good luck!!!!

Post # 4
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@AverageTom99:  My FI got photos of the whole thing and all my friends are jealous! I love them! During a romanitc weekend away, he took me out to a spot where we always take our photo and we set the camera up on a self timer with multiple shots. Then as soon as I hit the button he dropped to one knee. It was perfect! Afterwards we went for a drive where he told me all about my diamond (we custom designed the ring together afterwards) and we went to dinner. I’m glad that he and I got to enjoy it alone for a night/day before telling everyone. Here is one of our photos, I have about 10!

Post # 6
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Every girl is different.  Some like jumbo-tron public proposals where others like something private and meaningful.  If your gf is shy, then I’d go with something private, like a special place with just the two of you.  If she is more extroverted, then maybe something in public like a surprise party with all her family (or the jumbo tron at a sports arena). 

Either way, I’m sure she’ll be happy you just proposed at all.   The first guy went all fancy and looked how that turned out.     Don’t stress about it.

Post # 7
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

My Husband took me to a place he went to growing up as a child for a hike. I have an affection for dragonflies, and butterflies. This place is loaded with both. He took me off the path and asked my daughter if he could marry me. He presented my engagement ring in a jizhai beetle box. It wasnt over the top but it was perfect.

Post # 8
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I considered telling my FI I didn’t want some big spectacle in a public place like a restaurant or somewhere, but then thought what if he’s already planned it, I don’t want to ruin it. So I didn’t say anything. He ended up taking me sailing in the San Francisco Bay, just the two of us on the boat, and proposed then. Perfect! No one around, but still a beautiful place.

Of course, it wasn’t really perfect. He tried to get down on one knee but the boat was rocking and he ended up falling on to both knees. Also, I got seasick right afterwards. So it doesn’t have to be perfect or showy to be wonderful 🙂

Post # 9
2136 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Everyone is different…I didn’t want a big “clever” proposal with a photographer or a dinner planned afterward.  My proposal was quiet, random, heartfelt, simple, and perfect.  Just the two of us on a bench in the sun by the water.  I think that no matter what you do, it will be evident that you put a lot of thought and effort into it!  Especially if you go somewhere that is meaningful to both of you.  

I don’t know what your first idea was, but some of my favorite proposal stories to hear involve scavenger hunts, so if you really wanted to do something a bit more involved that could be fun!  

Post # 10
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

@AllieBee12:  omg the cutest photo!! I know when my bf purposes he will do it in a intimate setting, but I really wish there would be someone to capture the moment! sop adorable. what a wonderful memory to have in a picture!

Post # 11
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

@AverageTom99:  First off, arent you a sweet heart!!

I probably wouldnt do a party after as she didnt want a public proposal so Iw ould probably steer clear of that idea. But the other 2 are lovely! As for the places, well it depends on what kind of special places are near by. Maybe a place you guys had a picnic, or first date kind of thing but there is nothing wrong with a new place! don’t stress so much, yes her ex purposed romantically, but it also didnt work out. I do like the photographer idea but you could even be somewhere and ask a stranger to take your photo and then do it.

I would love to help with more specific ideas but would need more info about your GF. What does she like to do for fun? What kind of music does she like? Is there an inside joke or memory you would like to incorporate? Is she outdoorsy? things like that. Good luck!!

Post # 12
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

First – you’re SO sweet!

Second – don’t even think you’re being compared to the ex.  She’s with YOU, not him.

Now – here’s how my FI proposed to me:

Here’s another thread I started that had a sort of “wish list” for proposals and a lot of bees responded, I would say that it would be helpful:

If you can get a photographer, PLEASE DO.  7 months after I’ve been proposed to, I still look through all my pix!  I love them!!  If you can get a videographer, that would be great, too!

Post # 13
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@AllieBee12:  awe!! Cute photo!

OP, my FI and I were going to get engaged well over a year before it happend – around the time he was planning on it his sisters now husband beat him to it with a super elaborate wayyyyy over the top engagement that recieved tons and tons of family, friends, and Facebook attention. It was perfect for them..

Bur my poor FI was really intimidated by it and later confessed to me during his heartfelt very personal, very private proposal, that he had no idea how he was ever going to top that and he was so distraught and so apologetic.. I felt HORRIBLE that this man, the Love of My Life, my partner and my soul mate felt that he had to compete with another man’s proposal.

I think a lot of people, especially these days, get so caught up in the notion of elaborate over the top proposals, and even weddings. they forget what the true meaning behind the ring is and that marriage is more than a dress ir a fancy 3tiered wedding cake – i mostly blame the wedding industry for this, fyi.

In the end there was no pomp or pageantry with our Christmas Eve at home proposal, but it was sincere, it was true, and it was us.. If you are looking for ideas look to your relationship – what interests or hobbies do you two share? Resteraunts that hold sentimenatal value or a place that you two have visited and have fond memories of? Try to incorporate something personal into it – something that says “Us”. 

Good luck!


Post # 14
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Just do something that means something to the both of you. Whether its doing something you both love or somewhere that means a lot to you both. Doesnt have to have fireworks or anything. She will love it either way

Post # 15
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@AverageTom99:  First off, don’t worry. Clearly she is very lucky to have you if you are taking the time and care to talk to the bees! What a sweetheart! 

Maybe I can tell a story to calm your nerves… my future brother in law decided when he was deployed to Iraq that if his girl friend was faithful to him he’d ask her to marry him when he came back to the U.S. Well, sure enough, that happened! So he came back. He asked her mom, so her mom knew. He didn’t have a plan though. He wasn’t sure what to do. So finally one day he got the courage up. He called her mom, found out she was home, and brought the ring over to her house, in sweatpants and a hoodie. He nodded to her mom when he came in. She said his girl friend was showering upstairs so he could wait in her room. He went up the stairs to see his girl friend’s sister completely naked doing her hair in the hallway! He fled into his girl friend’s room. Then he waited a while, veryyy nervous. Finally she came in, in her towel with her hair all wet, and he asked her to marry him. He said it was the most awkward thing ever. But she said yes! And actually, it was very memorable for them. And this story helped my fiance get the guts up to ask me to marry him a few days later! 

So moral of the story is, you can’t have a worse proposal than that. Haha! Seriously, it will be great. Take her to the place that is special to the two of you. Dress somewhat nicely (no sweatpants please!) You do not need a photographer or hidden roses. If you live near your families/parents, maybe you could have them all waiting at one family’s house to greet you and celebrate together, if you think she’d be into that (so not a huge party, which would be stressful to orchestrate, but a special gathering!) If not, then enjoy the night together. 

I remember after my proposal I just wanted to be alone with him and share our special moment. You will do great! Keep us updated!!!

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