Post # 1
For some reason, getting married in my city is super expensive. We can afford about $5,000, since we’re paying it all ourselves. Unfortunately, that’s what almost all venues cost. We were going to do a backyard wedding and were really getting into it..but then came the issue of a tent..we just can’t afford one. There’s no place to go in case of rain. Next. There’s really nowhere else I can cut corners..I’m aready DIY almost everything..my dream would be to have our wedding at a nearby winery and, believe it or not, it’s one of the cheapest options…$2550 if we have it in the off season (not a problem) and if I understand correctly, we can have the ceremony there, PLUS free wine and beer..their caterers run about $10/plate. The only problem is our guest list. We both have HUGE families..we’re talking about 200 guests, including dates. That leaves us with about $500 for entertainment, cake, decorations, photography, etc. His parents would probablt let us borrow $1,000 and since it’s a couple years away I might be able to borrow another $1,000 from my parents, but being that they can barely support themselves atm it’s unlikely. I’m just not sure what to do. I’m fed up and it seems like the only option left is to elope and that would break my heart. Trust me, I’m not trying to pull anything extravagant. A nice dinner, some music and dancing, that’s all.
Post # 3
@marinesfiance: How likely is it to rain? If it is not something that you would expect to happen (maybe plan for a dry season wedding) then go without a tent, maybe have a potluck, and use a ipod for music. I have a HUGE family and had to cut down a lot of people. Start in tiers:
1) you and your FI
2) Parents/ siblings
4) Aunts& Uncles
6) Second cousins and so on….
*add friends/ co-workers were you deem them most important
Go through those teirs and decide what is most important to you. You can have a SUPER nice wedding dinner or luncheon with just your parents, siblings, and grandparents or you can have a really CHEAP wedding dinner or luncheon with a big guest list.
EDIT: In this case it will really be a decision of what is most imprtant to you. Quality or Quantity. Are you willing to push back your date and save for a longer period of time? I had to save over a year in order to get the wedding I wanted. I would also check alternatives. I used a vacation rental site to find my venue and then hunted down rental companies.
I used VRBO in order to find a place to get married and it ended up being cheaper than anything else to hire each vendor individually. Although it is a LOT more planning than if you had a venue do it for you.
Post # 4
Cut the +1’s I know it’s not etiquette, but our rule was if they are not engaged, SO’s are not invited. Two of my cousins did it that way and had no problems.
Post # 5
@Payless: All I can say is, it’s Iowa. Lol. Meaning it’s not uncommon for skies to be clear blue, no rain in the forcast, and then an hour later to have a downpour. It would just be silly to not have a tent. Also, a while back we agreed that, if we needed to, we could scale back to 125 people..being that I’m not exactly close to my extended family and we could cut them out if need be. So you have a point.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
Is it possible for you to pick up another job part time since it’s two years away? It shouldn’t be that hard to save up another 2k in two years.
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Cut back and then cut back some more. Check out local restaurants (ones that do not specialize in weddings) with private rooms to see what they offer. For my first wedding I was able to secure the private room at a local restaurant overlooking a lake by guaranteeing and paying for 60 guests at $16 per person including a plated dinner for each guest.
If you really can’t consider cutting the list then you might need to go with a simpler courthouse or destination wedding where keeping the guest list tiny won’t cause anyone to bat an eye. Otherwise, you can put off your date by another year or two and save more money.
Post # 8
@marinesfiance: In that case I would cut down the guest list to 100 and purchase a tent. Our guest list went for 300 hundred people to 100 and I don’t regret that at all. In the end 94 people RSVP’d and we had a wedding that was large enough to be a pumped party and a wedding that was small enough to be pretty meaningful and intimate. Seems like you are still very ealy on in planning and like every bride to be you are still getting a grip on where to start. I would start by venue. If it is a backyard then I would buget for what you would need and THEN start a guest list. It is always best to estimate the number of guests based on what the venue can hold, or on who can fit under the tent.
Post # 9
Have you looked in local parks or historical buildings?
We were looking for something on the cheaper side, so we could put more money into food, drinks & entertainment.
We found that there were alot of parks with buildings for rent, and historical sites tend me go by donations, or small flat fees.
Post # 10
@mmr66: This – we’re doing the same thing!
Post # 11
@beachbride1216: You just put in words what I’m trying to do when you said it was a pumped party but small enough to be intimate..a friend had a wedding like that and I fell in love. I’m not sure if cutting the guest list will help with the backyard wedding, though..the tent we’d have to go with is still a couple thousand and the rentals, though we were getting the tables and chairs free, were what were biting us in the butt. I wonder if cutting it down to 125 people would help us go with the winery..I’m thinking it might but I also feel like I’m forgetting something.
@jenilynevette: There are parks, but they don’t rent anything out
Post # 13
@marinesfiance: I suggest getting out of the big cities. I live in Des Moines, but I’m getting married in a little town. A decent venue in Des Moines is going to run $2000 + (One I fell in love with was 10K *gulp*). A venue in my small town is at most $1000, and that was for the upgraded option.
You are in Cedar Rapids? I hear the Ammanas have wonderful venues! Maybe you could check out some of them. I know its kind of a pain to travel a bit, but doing so may save your budget.
Post # 14
Would this be too far? http://www.cedar-rapids.org/resident-resources/parks-recreation/ushers-ferry/Pages/Weddings.aspx
Also, I’m not sure if it would fit all your guests, though you only need a tent/pavillion in case of emergency.
Post # 15
To the people telling me to get another job, I already have a full time job and a part time job, there’s just not enough time to get a third.
@Misswhowedding: Yes, the amanas are gorgeous, but they’re pretty highly priced too. The entire town is a tourist attraction. And if we go with the backyard wedding it’ll be in North Liberty, IA and the winery that I love is in Swisher, IA so it’s unlikely that we’ll be in Cedar Rapids itself.
@canadajane: Unfortunately it is too far. We have a lot of people coming from out of town, since my family is from Missouri and his is from Wisconsin. We were looking into that place, but when we went to tour it we got lost three times and when we got there we had to walk across this huge field. Neither of us are in bad shape and we were sweating by the time we got there.
Post # 16
If you can’t afford to invite the whole extended family then do not invite them. You are not obligated to go above and beyond your budget so that everyone gets invited. Set a number that you are comfortable spending, and create your guest list based on that. If you have to cut some family out that you are not that close to don’t worry about it, you are not obligated to invite every family member just because you are related to them if it doesn’t fit in the budget.