Post # 1
My experience has been overwhelmingly that guys, in general, are not into going down on girls. I’ve experienced this in long-term relationships and in short-term relationships. Of course, all of these guys LOVE and expect me to go down on them.
I shower daily and am completely shaven. I don’t understand.
I am 33 and every relationship I’ve ever been in–except one–the guy has been completely fine that they get off 100% of the time and I get off 0% of the time. Even the ONE relationship I’ve been in where he went down on me and seemed to care that I got off too…as the relationship progressed throughout the years…he pretty much stopped caring. It was over when he asked me one night after he had gotten off if it was ok if he just went to sleep. UGH.
WHY IS THIS?? I DON”T GET IT. At this point I feel like they are just using my body to masturbate into.
I’ve only slept with my current partner twice…but both times he got off and I didn’t and he just rolled over and went to sleep. I know I need to say something to him about it but 1). It pisses me off that I even HAVE to say anything. I care if HE gets off…why doesn’t he care if I get off?? 2). It’s still fairly early in the relationship and I don’t want to make him feel bad…but I’m getting so frustrated at this point.
Ladies, has this been your experience? Am I alone in this??
Post # 2
Oh, and I should add that I CANNOT get off without clit stimulation of some sort. I’ve tried and it just does not happen.
Post # 3
That sucks that he doesn’t care:( have you tried stimulating yourself while he is inside if you to help yourself get off?
Post # 4
mightneedadvice81: I have had experiences like that as well, I am lucky enough that my FI does care. He makes it a priority that I go before he does. Of course that doesn’t always happen but you really do need to talk to your significant other about it. Talking about it is huge!! My FI and I had our insecurities and one day a few years back I just brought it up and then we had ‘the talk’ lol. It really does open up more possibilites for your relationship and it makes everything more comfortable and enjoyable. Don’t get your hopes up.
Post # 5
I think you should just talk with them about your sexual desires. Let them know that you enjoy pleasing them and you would like to recieve the same in return. Another trick would be focusing on getting your self off first before you even start doing anything to them!
Post # 6
Just saw your last message, and I am the same way. You just haven’t found the spot where you are able to go without clit stimulation, it is very common. That was one of my frustrations as well but it is nice when he knows and you can get creative. But yes, like hollyberry4: said, you should try it when he is in you.
Post # 7
mightneedadvice81: you’re not alone! my past so, he would always want me to go down on him but when it came to me, majority of the time he didn’t wanna do it. It’s not fair, then why the hell should I go down on him?! Fair is fair! and I would say the same exact thing, I shouldnt have to say shit, he should WANT to
Post # 8
mightneedadvice81: oh yea and I’m the same, I can’t finish without clit stimulation either /: weird huh
Post # 9
I agree that a talk is in the works. But I guess the main thing I want to know is…is this kind of thing what you girls have experienced? Have the men you’ve had relationships with just automatically treated oral (on you) like a regular part of sex…or do they just ignore it and don’t do it unless YOU bring it to their attention first? It’s just so weird to me.
My last partner that I talked to about this…actually started arguing with me that I shouldn’t need oral to get off…that ALL of his exes could get off just through penetration alone. I told him they were probably faking because the vast majority of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
Really hoping current guy isn’t going to have the same reaction. 🙁
Post # 10
- Wedding: December 2014 - Loft
mightneedadvice81: communicate with your partner.
Post # 11
mightneedadvice81: This is easy, no O for him until he give you an O. If he balks or refuses, leave.
You teach people how to treat you. If you keep dating such selfish guys, then you need to teach them that your needs come (pun intended) first.
Post # 12
My husband loves giving oral. i dont and he complains to me all the time that i should do it for him more often. i have really bad gag reflex and maybe thats why i dont like to do it. i have never really done it much with any of my partners and my husband was/is the only one to complain. Also i have never asked for it but i received it with all of those partners too. i would rather him just get “hands on” than oral perferably. to each their own though
Post # 13
mightneedadvice81: Have you tried being on top? because a lot of people in your shoes including myself can get off that way.
Post # 14
mightneedadvice81: Honestly? No, this isn’t the experience that I have had. 🙁 My past relationships have always been pretty 50/50. My DH LOVES to give oral. it’s the only way I can orgasm as well.
Post # 15
mightneedadvice81: def need to improve communication. My SO loves oral and takes pride in doing it. So I’ve never had your experience in that arena. I do think its a little bit selfish for a man to expect head without giving head and I’ve never been one to participate in giving oral sex unless I’m receiving.. But maybe that’s just me.
As far as reaching orgasm I encourage exploring your body yourself as well as trying new positions. A lot of women get off being on top but I am one of the few that don’t so you have to figure out what works for you mostly through trial and error.