(Closed) Guy’s perspective on Waiting

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Yep. I dont know a guy who’s gone through it personally, but I know that I resist things harder when people push me to them.

Good post!

Post # 4
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

@Amaryllis: Thanks for posting. Very interesting. Guess I was right in one of my posts when I said “so there’s some sort of magic that goes on when you keep silent” …Or something to that effect.

It’s hard not to talk about it though! I have a lovehate relationship with engagement and wedding talk with my b/f. On one hand, I love it. I love hearing him talk about his groomsmen, about how our reception would be, our children, our future house, etc. But at the same time… SHUT UP!! If you enjoy talking about it so much, then why don’t you DO something about it!? GAH! Enough chit-chat! Git to it!! I feel like saying: “I don’t wanna hear another WORD unless there’s a ring on my finger!” LMAO.

Gwen.

Post # 7
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think it was very good to give a guy’s perspective.  Not all men have the same feelings, but I have heard this echoed by some of my male friends that are in LTR.  Pushing the issue takes all of the “special-ness” out of creating a perfect moment and beatiful memory.

Post # 8
Member
1543 posts
Bumble bee

I can totally understand the whole “stop talking about it” school of thought, and I myself have refrained from doing so at great cost to my sanity, but I think I speak for most Waiting Bees when I say it’s REALLY HARD, WAAAAAHHHH! lol

But seriously, here’s a hypothetical situation just for perspective’s sake: Say one of our best friends or even a family member kept promising that they were going to do something, and then as time ticks by, there’s zip zilch zero evidence of them doing so. Would you stand for bs like that from them? Heck, no. I’d call ’em on it. Which is what I would love to do to BF, but my cajones aren’t that big yet, lol. And yes, I realize the analogy is a stretch, and the situation(s) are different on soooo many levels, but the inherent principal is the same.

 

Post # 9
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

THIS


>
On one hand, I love it. I love hearing him talk about his groomsmen, about how our reception would be, our children, our future house, etc. But at the same time… SHUT UP!! If you enjoy talking about it so much, then why don’t you DO something about it!?

Know what would help men so they don’t have to hear their ladies talking or asking about it? STOP bringing it up. Enough said and easy to do. But NO, they want YOU to not talk about it, but they bring it up, every chance they get! It’s like telling someone you are going to give them a million bucks, but they can NOT talk about it, even if you bring it up, tell them how you’ll write a check or just put it in their account, how they’ll be able to pay off student loans or your other debt, but hey, do NOT ask when you’ll get it. I can talk about it to you, in your face, but you can’t.

Post # 10
Member
3378 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

For me, there are two sides to trying to keep quiet about it and not push.  One is pretty much the idea expressed above – I don’t want to take the excitement or romance out of it for him, so I’m letting him plan his proposal without nagging him about it.  The other one, that is of even bigger importance to me, is making sure that when he asks, he really wants to ask.  I don’t want to ever questions whether or not he really wanted to marry me or just felt like it’s what he had to do.  If feel like if I give him the peace to think it through on his own, he’ll be ready and excited when he does propose.

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