- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I’m really sick of this being the theme of my posts but I don’t know who to ask for advice. Since BIL got out of prison he went to live with their mom but couldn’t stand her erratic behavior and she was being creepy and obsessive. First chance he got he moved in with a girl he barely knew who turned out to be really deep into drugs and he also ended up getting back with his daughter’s mom. He can’t live with her because her sister has an order of protection against him for sexual harrassment that she ended up not pressing charges for, and they live in the same house.
So after a really nasty fight with the new girlfriend who was so mad that she told their mom she hopes she dies and other mean things, H took it upon himself to pick up BIL and bring him to ours because his only alternative was a shelter apparently. Even though they have a dad a plane ride away who I’m sure would have him. And they have an aunt that lives nearby too. BIL wants nothing to do with either parent except he keeps trying to get money from their mom for him to get a new apartment. She kept going back and forth about how much she’d give, then decided she’s done enough for him and she’s done giving him money, if he has to live in a shelter so be it.
BIL found a job where we live but he still needs to take a class to get certification which will take 2 weeks. H said he would pay for the class. I had a meltdown that wasnt 100% to do with that and now BIL keeps saying he’ll leave first chance he gets. Right now we’re stuck in the snow storm and things are so awkward. I feel bad but I can’t honestly tell him I think he should stay here…I didn’t tell H to ask him to leave but I asked him how he expects to help support his brother for a few more weeks when he’s the only one working full time. I work part time.
Neither of us is even 25, BIL is nearly 30 and we just don’t have the means to help him even if we wanted to. BIL has been nice and helpful around the house but I’m always going to be paranoid of him because of his past with crime and drugs. I’m afraid that the longer he stays here the bigger the chance of that coming into our home.
I just hate this situation. BIL never staying the night was something we both agreed on over a year ago and H said that I remember our agreement differently. He keeps trying to control his brother and the situation but he can’t. BIL kept going on and on about how much he hates their mom, how the least she could do is give him money, how he wishes he could kill her and just wants her to die and it’s super uncomfortable and awkward. I’m tired of feeling like a bad person for not being able to handle H’s family.
TL;DR: FIL’s a drunk, MIL is crazy and mean and controlling, but why did H have to let BIL stay with us indefinitely when he knew that would bother me