Post # 1
Mentioned in another post that my department is being moved overseas so unless they can find another position for me here my time at the company will be over soon.
Last week H had kind of a final straw thing with his boss. Basically his boss was on vacation for a few weeks and just came back. He had some days off last week for the long weekend and found last night that he could not log into his work email because his password was changed. He talked to a coworker about what happened while he was gone on vacation and the boss redistributed much of H’s projects to other people because he got one complaint from a client about H’s major account, apparently he invoiced them wrong. He also said that the boss tried to bring a case against H to him to get his coworker to agree that he’s not doing a good job. The other week H got a great performance review.
Anyway, H wrote a letter to a coworker, not his boss but someone who works there who is a large shareholder of the company, saying that based on a discussion he had with his boss last week and the changing of his passwords without any attempts to discuss this with him, he is assuming that he has been fired and will mail in his keys.
This boss has brought cases against 2 other coworkers before while H was working there to the point where they became unhappy and decided to quit or leave for other opportunities. Last night H had a panic attack because he did not know what was going on until he talked it out with his coworker that filled him in on a few things. He said he feels better now and relieved that he didn’t have to come in today to announce his resignation. But I think it is really sh**** that his boss didn’t share any of these updates with him, he knows everthing that H has been going through including his dad battling cancer as everyone in the office is very open about their personal lives. The least he could have done was sent an email or a text, especially for someone who was always calling H to take care of work stuff when he was at home and off the clock.
The ironic thing is that the coworker who filled H in last night told him a few weeks ago that he plans on quitting very soon. The other irony is that H worked on the company’s biggest project to date which has brought in more revenue than ever before. It will be interesting to see how they manage his project without him seeing as how the times he was on vacation his coworkers and superiors would constantly call and ask him for help because they couldn’t handle it.
Post # 3
So they have ignored his email that he sent last night but he heard from someone else that they had a meeting to discuss his departure.
I don’t really need advice, but I just don’t understand how you can let someone go without even telling them. He’s turned down job interviews in the past out of loyalty to the company and now they won’t even tell him directly what’s going on. He doesn’t deserve this. It’s not enough that his dad has cancer, that his brother is in jail, and that his mom is mean to him for petty reasons and is literally insane, but now he’s getting the cold shoulder from his superiors. I’m a little afraid for his self esteem right now.
Post # 4
@tmsing: First, he shouldn’t be taking the co-workers word for it. Darling Husband should be showing up for work just like he normally would and let them deal with it because honestly if he fails to show up, they are probably just going to “fire” him for not showing up to work. If no one of higher authority has called him, I would assume that is wrongful termination. I think that is the word I am looking for?
They cannot close his departure without giving him some sort of exit interview or explaining why he lost his job. I think he could take that to court honestly.
[Edit]: When I worked retail, if they were fired they had to sign a release that they understood their termination. That was the only way their termination was legal, so there is either a hole in your DH’s story or you have case you could make against this company.
Post # 5
I think he risks losing a lot of important benefits if he does not continue to show up.
Post # 6
@megz06: –> 100% this
Weird story… you don’t take anyone’s word for what is going on in your career other than those who actually hired you… they are the folks who do the firing.
Until then you have a “contract” to appear. By not appearing at work, you break yours side of the agreement, and THAT ACTION could lead to dismissal (and it wouldn’t be wrongful dismissal)
Work is like life, sometimes there is drama, hurt feelings, and gossip (not to mention back-stabbing)
I mean, I’ve seen circumstances where one employee has tricked another by lies and deceit so as to get another fired, or move into their job.
Not saying that is what is going on here… but seriously, you don’t owe any allegiances to a co-worker ever
(Which is why the strictest forms of Traditional Etiquette says one shouldn’t mix Work & Personal Life… ever)
((HUGS)) to you guys… certainly hope you can work all this out in light of the fact that there is already so much going on in your lives
Hope this helps,
Post # 7
Why would he just stop showing up at work without being told he is terminated? That doesn’t make any sense.
Post # 8
@megz06: I guess he’s afraid of a big confrontation based on the disagreements he and his boss got into last week (it’s been a long time coming though) and from what he heard, and the fact that he’s been locked out of his work email account. It’s gotten to the point where he told me he had to quit sooner than later because with the way his boss would scream at and demean him, it just made him feel like punching him in the face, so to him the best option was to walk away and avoid confrontation. The fact that his boss (perhaps) changed his account passwords and reassigned H’s projects to other people makes it look like H has been fired.
I did tell him he shouldn’t assume things and jump to conclusions though, that the password thing could just be a glitch but he doesn’t believe that. Do you think the email that he sent is enough reason for him not coming in today? He’s basically had to deal with a hostile environment at work whenever his boss is in a bad mood.
@MrsTVLover: He just did not show up today. But he explained to at least two people yesterday that based on his assessment of the situation, that it is probably better that he does not come in today. I’ve seen people at my job not show up before for a day or two and they were ok and his office seemed like a similar environment. Do you think his benefits would still be at risk if he has explained in writing that he would not come in today? But whether he has quit or was fired, why would he still receive benefits anyway?
Post # 9
Sorry but I wouldn’t be taking someone else’s word (except my bosses) that I was fired. He should have gone to work today and talked to his boss. If I were him, I would have much rather resigned than been fired.
Post # 10
@tmsing: I honestly think, ignoring his e-mail or not, he needs to deal with this like a mature adult. He still doesn’t know why he was “fired”, and honestly him not showing up today isn’t going to look so good for him in the end, even if he did tell 2 coworkers. Your Darling Husband, despite the hostile work environment, went about this very improperly. If he is worried about his safety, he is more than welcome to take someone with him, but he does need to man up and talk to his boss. I undertsna davoiding confrontation, but you can’t just do that in your job. It makes you look very unprofessional.
This is going to become a very sticky situation for you guys. If your Darling Husband is ok with this situation then by all menas he can stay home and not show up for work, but honestly if you expect some compensation or anything, this is going to get very sticky.
I honestly think his benefits are in danger here because of the lack of professionalism on both parts, but I think it will come down to your husband not showing up for work.
Post # 11
@Fluffmallow: Sigh. I’ve tried to understand the same thing. I know that H had brain scans done last year and they told him that it showed early signs of schizophrenia which runs in his family. Since then I’ve been trying to look for signs of him expressing delusion, paranoia, etc.
Thing is, he’s been complaining to me about work for a while now. And I’ve seen and heard his other coworkers complain as well. But I have no way of knowing if he’s blowing this out of proportion in his head.
@megz06: I will mention the notification of termination to him…I don’t know anything about this stuff so that info is useful.
@This Time Round: I wish H would just call or email his boss and talk to him so he can hear it from him, but he seems to have zero desire to do that. H can have a very short temper so I guess he’d rather be avoidant than get into an argument.
The good thing is that we have enough money saved to be good on rent, bills, etc. for the next few months. H has been actively going on interviews and looking for other work.
Post # 12
@megz06: He already got paid a few days ago so they wouldn’t owe him anything anyway.
I already know there is no way of me convincing him that going in and talking to his boss will be the professional thing to do, given a lot of the unprofessional things his boss has done. If H is beyond caring or resolving this and at least leaving on amicable terms, then I don’t know what else I can do.
Post # 13
Not going in to face the situation is absolutely the wrong choice to take. He basically just didn’t show up today because he didn’t want to deal with an awkward situation? Not showing up for work without reporting in to your supervisor is grounds for termination in my office. That will also hurt any chance of making a wrongful termination claim, FYI.
ETA: I’ve never had to sign a “notice of termination” when leaving a job. (I’ve never been fired; is it only when they let you go?) I have had to hand in a written letter giving my two weeks notice, but nothing more than that for my employer.
Post # 14
@abbie017: —> This
Not to mention it “burns a bridge” which never good when job hunting, which is what the OP has now stated in an UPDATE (reply # 10 to myself) has said.
He cannot go on a Job Interview and have “a gap” in his employement history, especially so if the gap is long or recent without some sort of explanation.
And as the Interview process narrows down… the Potential Employer may very well call the recent Employer to get a feel for a bit on the Employees background…
A curt “He doesn’t work here any more” or “We let him go” from HR is going to damage his prospects in this tight economic looking for work scenario
What he’s done is very very immature. There comes a time in life you have to suck it up… or at least be smart enough to weigh and understand the consequences of your behaviour
I get that the guy is under a lot stress lately (ill family member)
BUT closing down, or being angry, won’t achieve a desired result… it will just make the situation all the worse IMO
Post # 15
@abbie017: I definitely see where you’re coming from, but his boss has literally gone on campaigns before to collect evidence in getting numerous others fired or making them so miserable that they quit. And other people have not shown up without notice before…while this is corporate, they are a lot more casual than other companies I have seen.
Believe me, I’m struggling myself a little bit to understand why he won’t go in and face it. But this is a person who was literally beaten at home and in school to the point where he had blood drawn from his wounds and suffered seizures, he has a lot of triggers. He has been whipped, been punched in the back of the head, and was terrorized. Getting him to even finish college was a challenge in itself because he had so many reminders of those times.
At any rate, his shift today would have only started an hour ago. Not that it really matters anyway.
Post # 16
@tmsing: I’m sorry he went through all of that terrible stuff – I really am. But he took on the responsibility of an adult job and he needs to act like an adult and face his problems. If his past is getting in the way of him maintaining employment, perhaps he should be looking into a leave of absence with some therapy to help him adjust better?