- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
I just got into an argument with my fiance. 🙁
It started when I was talking about this girl I know who just got engaged, and how she’s kind of bummed (even though she’s trying to hide it) because even though her FI knew that she didn’t like yellow gold, he bought her a yellow gold engagement ring anyway because HE likes yellow gold.
Anyway, I was talking to my FI about it and how I thought that it was kind of bad that the other girl’s FI just disregarded her taste in jewelry and bought the ring he liked. My FI thought that I was really selfish for thinking this way. He said he was disappointed in me because back when he was planning on proposing, he was initially going to buy me a ring that HE liked. Basically, it would have been the same situation because I prefer white gold to yellow, and he prefers the yellow. I have a white gold ring now, but the only reason for that is because I told one of my best friends that I really liked this ring in particular, and she told him that it was what I wanted, so he bought it.
So, like I said, he thinks that I’m behaving like a B**** because I would be disappointed about him buying the yellow, even though he KNEW that I don’t like yellow gold. From my perspective, it’s not whether the ring is yellow or gold at all… it’s the fact that even though he knew what I liked, he would have ignored it and bought the yellow gold ring because HE liked it better. He thinks that if I had been disappointed at all, it would have been really selfish of me because, after all it was a gift and I should just be happy that he proposed at all.
… is it just me or is that really screwed up? I mean… why would a guy buy a girl an engagement ring.. something that she’ll wear for the rest of her life… that he KNEW she wasn’t going to like? I mean, there’s no question about it.. HE KNEW….
I just feel like if you buy a gift for someone, especially one as important as this, shouldn’t you think about what they like instead of what you like? I just sort of feel like if he’s going to disregard your feelings on something like that, it’s a red flag about how he’ll handle decisions that involve both of you in the future.
In other words, I might be getting cold feet. 🙁
Help me out my bees… am I wrong here? Please be honest even if you think I’m wrong; I need some real perpective from an outsider.