Had a fight with boyfriend- Am I being too harsh?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Short answer, yes. 

Assuming your bf is a mature adult, then I have to assume he knows the risks involved with drinking and driving, and so, will plan accordingly to ensure his safety, and the safety of those around him.

IF HE PROVES you wrong…IF he comes home from that trip and says ‘oh my, I drank too much, then drove.  THANK GOD I did not hurt anyone…’, then that gives you the platform for ‘harsh’ lectures going forward.

Beyond that, just relax, and TRUST he will make a smart decision!

Post # 4
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Do you trust him and his brother? After a dinner out, I was too buzzed to drive my friend home. So we walked to a store next door and browsed for a while. Maybe they could talk or browse the winery gift shop if they need to take some time.

Post # 6
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@pictureaccount:  I think you have to have a little more faith him them that they will be responsible. 

Post # 7
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yes, you are being too harsh.  They are adults. You are his GF, not his mom. People go to wineries all the time and get home.  I don’t stay off the road on holiday weekends just because people might be driving drunk.  People could be driving drunk right now.

Post # 10
1823 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think you should trust your boyfriend to act responsibly. Drunk driving is a serious problem, but it’s also easy to avoid if you are conscious of the risks. It is totally possible for them to go out and have fun without a problem. Unless your boyfriend has a history of being irresponsible with alcohol, you should trust him to handle the risks.


Post # 11
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@pictureaccount:  It sounds like you are nagging him too much. I’d recommend backing off.

Post # 12
394 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Life is full of uncertainty.  I think you are overreacting.  You can’t control everyone on the road, or a lot of things that happen in life.

Maybe if you plan for something that will distract you that weekend, it won’t bother you so much.  You could do something with your friends or family.

Post # 13
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Unless his bro is a real wine snob, I can’t imagine him wanting to do a wine tour and then spitting out the wine.

Usually wine areas do have organized tours so I’m not sure why a chaufeur is far fetched.  We hired a driver for a Champagne tour we did and I’ve also been on organized wine tours, cause you get sloshed.  I don’t think your concerns are unwarented.

Post # 14
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@pictureaccount:  I think you’re overreacting.  As PP said, assuming your BF is a mature adult, he and his brother will plan accordingly.  You can definitely have a glass or two or three or four (depending on the person) and be totally ok to drive.  Or they might have to take a walk to sober up.  It’s all about knowing your limits.  Some people are drunk after one glass of wine, others it would take at least 3 or 4 before they start to feel anything.  As long as neither one has a history of drunk driving, I wouldn’t worry about it.

As far other drivers go, sure, there might be some drunk drivers.  But you should trust your BF and his brother to pay attention.  It’s not exactly reasonable to forbid driving on holiday weekends.

Post # 15
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018


I’m with you.  I’m a little more cautious than most though.  I’m sure things will be fine but I would still be unhappy with the plan and worried.

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