Had to leave a wedding early–would you say something?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I send the bride an email or message apologizing for our early departure?
    Yes : (29 votes)
    24 %
    No : (86 votes)
    70 %
    Other : (8 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    6812 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Don’t think I’d send an email – maybe I’d say something next time I saw her in person. Honestly, cake cutting is the universal sign that the wedding is over, isn’t it? If she had a 4-hr reception (which is normal, unless there’s cocktail hour, in which case it’s 5 hrs), then it would have ended around 9 anyway.

    Post # 4
    3217 posts
    Sugar bee

    @MrsLongcoatPeacoat:  Either way you are fine.  You stayed for the meal and the cake cutting.  That to me is it.

    But I don’t think it would be remis to say something either.

    May I ask why you didn’t find her and say good bye, and let her know then what the situation was?  I do think that would have been the best course of action.

    Post # 5
    42166 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would phone or email as soon as possible to tell them how much you enjoyed the wedding and apologizing for leaving early. That would give you the opportunity to explain about DH’s toe.

    To be completely honest, I would have waited until I could catch her attention for a moment before leaving. I was raised that it is rude to leave any social event without saying goodbye to the hosts.

    Post # 6
    895 posts
    Busy bee

    It would depend on how close I was to the bride, but I most likely wouldn’t say anything.

    Post # 7
    279 posts
    Helper bee

    To be honest, I doubt she even noticed. It was her wedding day. You didn’t do anything wrong! I don’t think it was rude whether or not your husband was injured. That isn’t super early and you stayed for the meal + cake. 


    If you feel uncomfortable, I might tell her in person, but I honestly wouldn’t worry about it. And I wouldn’t call her or make a big deal about it.

    Post # 8
    1843 posts
    Buzzing bee

    It is up to you. But normally people will just remember you were there. Not if you were there until the end. In the case of events where there’s a lot of people and family to speak to, it is unlikely she would remember you left early. And if you add to that that probably people had a few drinks, well maybe you don’t need to send that email. But it’s up to you and make you feel comfortable. 

    Maybe as another bee suggested wait until you see her again and tell her what happened. Hope your husband’s toe heals well.

    Post # 10
    274 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Unless you are part of her immediate family or best friends I highly doubt she noticed. 


    Post # 11
    1233 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think saying something in person would be better than an email (more personal), but am not sure if saying something will be necessary. 

    Post # 12
    931 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I had so many people at our wedding that I wouldn’t have even noticed if someone left early!  

    Post # 13
    2534 posts
    Sugar bee

    I would say something. Just a quick note or call to let her know you had a great time and to say thank you.

    We had a few people leave our wedding early who did not say goodbye/thank you, and I found it hurtful.

    Obviously you had a good reason for leaving and you mentioned tried to say goodbye, so that is good. However I’d still send an e-mail or something just to let her know.

    Post # 14
    7630 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I wouldn’t say anything. I doubt she even noticed. I know I didn’t think anything of people who left earlier. Maybe just tell her how much you enjoyed the wedding next time you see her. 

    Post # 15
    873 posts
    Busy bee

    I don’t think it would hurt anything to send a note telling her how much you enjoyed the day and explaining why you had to leave earlier than you would have liked.

    Post # 16
    2222 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @smirkypox:  +1


    you said goodbye and thank you to the mom, it’s not like you ducked out without saying goodbye.

    I would just let it go. 

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