Post # 1
I haven’t been on here in awhile, but I did post a month ago to say we were pregnant. Unfortunately, a few days later, that ended. Well, Monday we found out we are pregnant again! So excited! The lines are darker and it’s all seeming great— except I found out that there is a case of Fifths Disease at work (which can be very harmful to baby if I catch it).
Anyways, because of this, I had to inform my boss as to why I needed to leave early (at exactly 4 weeks pregnant– before even my parents know!) and now I will be “disappearing” to an alternate job site for a few weeks. Everyone at work will basically know I”m pregnant.
As both my mom and MIL work for the same company (different locations) we are going to tell them what is happening this weekend– but I’m so not prepared! At 4 weeks, there is a MOUNTAIN of things that can go wrong, and I really wish we could keep it our little secret a little longer.
Anyone have advice for how to handle the gossip that will go around work? Is it better to say that I am very, very early in pregnancy and drop it, or to just ignore the rumours? Any advice for if this also ends in M/C? I really don’t know how to handle things and feel like I’m in a whirlwind of things happening.
Post # 3
Ignore the rumors. Give them a stink eye if they bring it up.
Post # 4
I really feel for you. I’ve had two previous miscarriages, and I didn’t tell anyone at work. I’m 13 wks now and I still don’t want to tell anyone at work!
But really I think most people will be understanding. Yes, some people will probably talk about it, but I don’t think they mean any harm. If anyone comes up to you or if you overhear people talking about you, I would just kindly ask them not to discuss your pregnancy unless/until you bring it up because it is very new and personal.
Post # 5
I MC’ed after my boss knew. I had to tell her because I was needing time off for appointments and ultrasounds. I was just straight up with her. I would just say that you’re in very early pregnancy and would like to not discuss it for a while, if the rumor comes up, but would say nothing unless it does.
Post # 6
I think that it will be a good idea to let them know that you are expecting but since it is so early in the pregnancy you would rather not make a big deal about it. Let them know that you would rather them hear the news from you rather than from people at work.
I don’t think that it would be a good idea to lie to them about it. Just tell them the news and ask them to keep it on the down low until you are ready to come out to people.
Post # 7
I kind of had to tell my boss early too (4 1/2 weeks) because I had 3 appointments in the first week to have blood drawn and a ultrasound at 5 weeks to set a due date, so I pretty much had to tell her I had doctor appointments to go to. She’s was so excited that she told 2 people that I know of (because I was with her at the time), but I’m 14 weeks now so I don’t mind anymore. I know this sounds terrible but if something is going to happen, it’ll happen whether people know or not. We all like to wait until it’s “safe”, but maybe you can ask your boss and moms to help keep it under wraps for now. Good luck!
Post # 8
@takemyhand: I had to tell really early too because I was really sick and needed to work from home and have some accommodations. I had to tell at 4 weeks, and everyone knew at 6 weeks. People were really nice about it, and started off by saying that we wouldn’t count it as official until 12 weeks. It was really weird at first and I felt weird about people knowing so early, but I looked up all the encouraging stats, like that at 8 weeks your miscarriage rates go down, and again at 10 and so forth, so it helped me to focus on the positive! And just the passage of time made me more comfortable for some reason. But overall, I think that everyone understands the sitation that you are in and is hoping for a sticky baby right along side you!
Post # 9
@takemyhand: Can’t you keep the pregnancy between you and your boss, and claim the relocation as a temporary work assignment? Why is it that all of your coworkers will automatically assume you are pregnant?
Post # 10
Thanks for all the encouraging words and replies. What ended up helping is someone else has “disappeared”, so at least I’m not alone in revealing an early pregnancy!
As for questions and asking my boss to keep it under wraps…
Because it is Fifths Disease, and I am a teacher, we NEVER leave our job. When the Fifths Disease letter goes home and several people leave mid-day, it’s an immediate sign they are pregnant, because Fifths Disease can be very harmful to the baby if you catch it (and are not immune). Unfortunately teachers never go anywhere beyond their classroom for the duration of the year, so the assumption is either that you have an immune disease (which, when Fifths disease was in our school earlier this year, no one did), or that you are pregnant.
In the end, I talked to a co-worker last night and she said that everyone has pretty much assumed that the two of us who have left are pregnant. They are all really excited, and hoping for the best. That really made it better.
Post # 11
*Hugs* I think just don’t bring it up, and if someone else does, say something like, “It’s very early days yet and I’d rather not talk about it until things are further along” and then change the subject. I’m sure your mom and MIL are going to be thrilled!
Post # 12
@takemyhand: Sounds like you’ve worked it out! 🙂
Since I work around radiation, I also had to tell my work the day I found out, and since my mom works for the same company at a differnent location, we decided to tell our parents the following day so she didn’t somehow hear it from someone at work. We also told our siblings and close friends who would figure it out from work. As for other work rumors, I did have 2 people come up to me and say they heard i was pregnant, and at that time, i confirmed it to them, but said that it’s still really early so i’m trying to keep it quiet. i also made sure to specifically tell everyone that i talked to not put anything on facebook.
Fast forward to this week when I found out I’m miscarrying. I was very glad that we’d already told our parents, and they were of course very supportive. It’s been a little hard to go back and update friends, but I’m working on it. The hardest thing so far was yesterday when i ran into a guy at work and he said “I heard your news, congratulations!”, and I had to thank him and tell him that i’m no longer pregnant in the same sentence.
I’m sure your parents will be thrilled and supportive no matter what happens. Good luck!