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I might leave the parent dances out in this situation. Have you talked to your FI about it? He might understand and not even miss it.
Who is walking with you down the aisle? If you want to do the dance, maybe you could ask them to dance with you, too. Otherwise I'd just leave the dances out. Your guy and his mom can still dance if they want to, there will just be other people on the dace floor at the same time. :)
You don't have to do the dances if you don't want to; honestly, I don't think anybody will notice.
@little lynx I am walking down the aisle alone and I am cool with that. I talked about it with my FI and he got anoyed and told me to suck it up its just one dance. So I will I'll suck it up. saves arguments
Do you have a brother or an Uncle or a grandfather (or sister/aunt/grandmother) you are close with? You could dance with one of them or even a best friend. Pick someone who your are close to and ask them to dance with you, Iäm sure they would be flattered to step up.
Sorry your Fi got so upset... And I'm sorry your parents both passed away. My husband's mother passed before we got married. He was fine dancing with my mo. (And it makes for a bonding moment. Never hurts with the FIL's ya, know?) But if you feel uncomfortable, I would recommend that you see if there is another male figure you could ask. Anyone else your close to? Who's walking you down the aisle?
I hope it won't be uncomfortable for you. But if it's important for your Fi and his mom to share their moment, they should be able to have it.
Good luck. Keep us posted.
@simpleandchic - I'm sorry about your parents. Both of my parents are also deceased, and planning a wedding without their input gets really hard sometimes! Like you, I'm walking down the aisle alone. Because my dad died so much earlier than my mom, I was always closer to her and assumed she'd be the one to escort me down the aisle. Therefore, I've picked a song she loved as my processional, and intend to explain the significance in the program. As for the dance - I've had a number of people make suggestions of other people I could dance with, from my bridesman (yay for mixed-gender bridal parties!) to my brother-in-law to my mom's male best friend to my fiance's father. None of them feel right, so I'm just skipping it. The mother-son dance is up to my fiance - if he wants to go for it, I'd love to watch him dance with his mom. If he wants to skip it, that's also up to him. However, I do hope you were exaggerating regarding your fiance's reaction - "suck it up" is not an appropriate response.
@Redherring Thankyou I thought suck it up was a bit harsh too, but there you go. I think I might just go with the flow as well, if he organises to do a Mother/ Son dance then I will be happy for him but prob skipp it.
Also l have been trying to think of ways I can incorporate the memory of my mum and Grandparents into the wedding, I like your Idea of the processional. my mum loved the song Ave Maria so that might be a nice idea. and someone else said that they were going to put a single flower on a pew wear their Grandmother would have sat. I like that idea too...
Hey, simple, if you don't like the idea of dancing with someone else, would you liek the idea of having some kind of slide show about your parents, in lieu of your father/daughter dance? You know, it could be just a song's worth in length. So it doesn't have to be something that drags on longer than a normal dance. I think it would be really special...if it's not something that would make you feel upset or bring down the vibe.
Just chiming in - I LOVE tanya123's idea of a slideshow with pictures of your parents. It can be a combination of yours and FI's parents - in a tribute to the significance they had in your life. I think that would be so wonderful and the guests that are there that knew your parents/grandparents will be equally moved.
re: dancing - if FI wants to dance with his mother - just let it be that one dance. You don't need to be doing anything during that time - and I definitely wouldn't suggest you dance with his father (because of the cringe factor!)
Do you have any siblings or cousins that you’re close with?
My MOH had the same problem in the reverse for her wedding. Her husband’s mother passed away so she was going to give up her father-daughter dance but ended up doing something better. Her husband has 2 sisters and a brother, so when it came time for the mother-son dance all 4 siblings danced together in remembrance of their mother.
I’ve also seen having a prayer or a moment of silence in place of the dance. Some people think it’s a downer but I think it’s really touching and a great way to remember someone outside of a religous ceremony. I like Tanya123’s idea of the slideshow too.
Oh I love the idea of a slideshow! My mother passed away six years ago, and I had always thought of her walking me down the aisle.........
Now it will be my dad & my daughter :)
I think it would be fabulous to honor your deceased parents with a slide show of them
Do you have a relative whom you are very close to!?!? Or maybe you could dedicate a song to your parents or maybe "their" song and dance to it with your new hubby!
You wouldnt be dancing during your Fis dance anyways... I think its ok to allow him and his mother that dance and then just move on. There is no reason to force a dance with his father or anything like that...
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After reading Oracles post about Mother/son dance, it got me thinking. Both of my parents have passed away so I hadn't even thought about a Mother/son Father/ Daughter dance. After reading Oracles post realised my FI and his Mum probably want to dance. So where does that leave me?
We could do a swap where he dances with his Mum and I dance with his Dad, However when I picture this in my head it just makes me cringe and feel awkward, at the end of the Day he isn't my Dad and he isnt giving me away. Don't get me wrong I really like FI's dad but it's awkward each time we hug hello so I can only imagine how awkward I would feel dancing with him.
What would you guys do?