Post # 1
So, I wasn’t dreading the meeting but I was apprehensive about meeting fiance’s family. I wondered what they would think of a girl from a different country/culture. Turns out that future Mother-In-Law is so much like my mom that we hit it off right away. Future Sister-In-Law and her daughter also gave the seal of approval. It only made it better when Future Mother-In-Law asked me to call her mom by the end of the first night
One thing Fiance said that his mom said was that I was myself, I mean which crazy girl goes to her future Mother-In-Law home and changes her clip-ins (african american weave lol)? So I went there with long hair and then the next day, I was back to my short bob cut hair. Surprisingly, she thought that it showed I was comfortable being me. I guess rolling on the floor laughing while she had us in stitches only served to endear me rather than her thinking I was a nutcase.
I know that the situation with the in-laws can be tricky at times, but I am glad that I am marrying into a family that is welcoming me with open hands. I even had the moms meet by Skype and so far, they seem to be genuinely fond of each other, so another score there.
I guess my lesson and advice is for some brides is to just be yourself. I know every Future Mother-In-Law will not be as loving or as welcoming or as accepting, but I wish more FMILs would accept their new daughter-in-law for who she is.
Post # 3
all i had to do was be jewish
Post # 4
@Dell79: great for you…it seems easy for some brides to integrate into their new families and then for others like my friend, the Future Mother-In-Law would not cut her a break no matter what she did
Post # 5
Still a waiting bee… so I am hoping once that’s official, and we start doing more things with our respective families together, they will come to like me. Currently I am just the girlfriend that “isn’t who we envisioned you with,” but they can’t name or describe that ideal person. Sigh. If only it were as “easy” as religion. I can’t change all of me 🙁
Post # 6
I didn’t do anything except watch my mouth.
Post # 7
My Mother-In-Law loves me. She told my future sister-in-law that I would marry her son the first time she met me 🙂
Post # 8
@QBbride: Gosh I am so jealous of all of you!
Post # 9
Well, they do like me, even love me I would say. But they would love me better if I were an ultra conservative who didn’t believe “liberal” things about God, like that the politic-ing isn’t are important as the loving and serving parts or if I agreed my sister was almost a heratic for being a different *gasp* charismatic denomination (who By The Way share ALL basic tenets) and SHE is getting ordained as a pastor . My family (who I would consider all intelligent, moral, ethical, and well spoken) are kind of a joke because we aren’t hard line conservative like Father-In-Law so he loves to make snide comments about us/them. Made worse by the fact SIL and her family all are the same kind of conservative as Father-In-Law…. She is the golden girl with their first born and Darling Husband and I are just…. Not. Tragically I refuse to change who I am for them, well, tragic for them.
Post # 10
I voted for “Nope, was just me” 🙂 I was just myself when I met his parents and we met when my Fiance and I were getting to know each other. I can honestly say my Father-In-Law love me even FI’s extended family.
Post # 11
I’m 43, so no changing for anyone!
Future In-Laws don’t like me, take your pick from the following for the reasons: Divorced, health problems, no family.
They – particularly Future Father-In-Law – are very judgemental. Totally different from my ex ILs, who I always got on with. Sadly ex Mother-In-Law died last year, and I do sincerely miss her.
To be honest, after a decade of getting on great with my ILs, my experience with FI’s parents has a been a real shock…and a massive disappointment.
Post # 12
I was just the slightly more polite version of myself!
Post # 13
I also was surprised by how much Fil in law likes me, he is laid back old School Southern Wasp and I am East Coast liberal kind of first generation black mix. He does think my politics and some of my personal ideas are wonky but he seems to like me anyways. I love my Future Mother-In-Law too, she is very warm and cuban southern belle type. I think often times if you try to too hard to impress them you come off as being disingenuous and fake. Then there are the people who hate whomever their kid brings homes and there really no point in trying.
Post # 14
My fiance is his mother’s only son, and his aunt has kind of taken him on as a son (she doesn’t have any children). His family adores him & he’s been out of the state/country for almost 7 years until now. I think my “allowing” him to move back to his home state won them over before I even met them! lol. It was definitely an advantage at the very least. I love his family, though, they’re great & very generous to us/me.
Post # 15
I think it is great thus far that most persons who have posted had a fairly good reaction from the in-laws. I am actually surprised as I sometimes read these posts on the wedding boards and it seems like a lot of ladies have problems with the in-laws not welcoming them.
I, like another poster have health issues. I was up front with it and it turns out that my Future Mother-In-Law has fibromyalgia like me so, she totally gets it. She also understands pain so she also gets my having autoimmune issues. As far as she is concerned as long as her son is happy, she is good.
I like what TwoCityBride says as some in-laws hate ANYONE who tries to “steal” their precious child. When my Future Mother-In-Law played devil’s advocate and asked Fiance what he would do if she said she didnt like me, he told her that he wished that she would but if she didnt, he had still made his choice. Good for him!
Post # 16
My Future In-Laws liked me, especially my Future Mother-In-Law. My Future Father-In-Law is a little difficult. I had to win him over by teasing him a lot, which works for our relationship, so although he complains about me teasing him all the time, he always smiles and dishes it back. My Future Sister-In-Law and I unfortunately had a very rocky past few months because of the wedding, but we are civil now and able to communicate. We care about each other, we just don’t like each other sometimes. But overall, I am happy with my in-laws and they are happy with me 🙂