Post # 1
Any other pagan brides out there doing a handfasting? We’re having a "carefully non-religious" ceremony so as not to offend our Catholic family members, but I do want to incorporate a handfasting. I was thinking of diy’ing my cord, but I haven’t found any good demonstrations online. 😐
Post # 3
My MIL did this for her ceremony and it was beautiful….I’ll see if I can get her input on this.
Post # 5
Me, me! ::jumps up and down with hand raised:: We did this! And it sounds like we did it a very similary way from how you want to do it. My DH’s family is christian and in an effort not to offend them I stripped the ceremony I found online of really any religious references and presented it as a cultural tradition. We were already having a celtic themed wedding so it went very well. I’m actually really happy that we did this because since it was completely different from anything anyone had seen before, there was no "Why didn’t you pray?" or "Why didn’t you have comunnion?" Everyone commented on how unique the ceremony was and we didn’t hear anything negative about it.
We decided to just use gross grain ribbon for the cords since we had loads of it hanging around from all the other DIY projects I’d done. It worked great!!!! I think I’d have had problems with satin ribbon slipping around. Here’s a picture of how it looked.
I’m trying to get the video ripped into the computer so I can put some of it up on youtube. If I get that done soon I’ll let you know. 🙂
Good luck and blessed be!
Post # 6
We are doing a hand fasting as well! I found the handfasting we will be using online.
I just fell in love with it. My sister in law is making our cords. They did it for their wedding too. I found a pin at JC Penny and the cords will be braided together and secured with the pin. There will be six cords on each side.
This is the one thing I am really looking forward to at the ceremony.
Post # 7
I have never heard of this before, but now I want to do this at our ceremony, which will be non-religious. Also, I have been trying to come up with things to do at the ceremony besides a few readings (And I don’t want to do the unity candle. I don’t know why, maybe because everyone does it now). Thanks!
Post # 8
Wow, thanks for all the responses!
Bonnie, we’re having a lot of celtic touches in our wedding (though it’s not quite a "theme" for us). My dad and brother will be wearing kilts, and hopefully I’ll have a bagpiper for the processional/recessional. I’m doing the same as you with the "stripped down" language. I’m basically going to use a simple pagan ceremony without any reference to the God and Goddess. I’m going to leave some nature and simple "spiritual" language in, but no calling of the quarters or anything. Our families already know we’re not "religious", but they’re not really aware of the fact that I’m pagan, so I’m selling it as a secular celtic ceremony. My mother is actually really excited about the handfasting because she thinks it’s so "different". It’s good to know that the grosgrain worked out okay. Early on I tried to make a cord out of satin ribbon, but it was way too slippery to work with.
We may also do a quaich ceremony before dinner or as part of the cake cutting. I haven’t decided yet whether it will make things a little too "busy". For those who don’t know, it’s also called a "loving cup" ceremony by some people. The quaich is the bowl-like cup that is traditional in Scotland. I think it’s a nice alternative to the unity candle, which I agree has become a little too common for my taste.
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
I’ve heard that handfasting, though used in modern times as a wedding tradition, was originally an engagement ceremony. Does anyone have any info that supports its use for engagement vs. wedding?
Post # 10
cherrypie, it definitely was used as an engagement cereomony at some point in time. The handfasting was done and then the couple lived together as if married for a year. At the one year anniversary the couple was given the opportunity to decide whether they wanted to commit to being together forever or not. But I’ve also read information that said that it was also used as a wedding vow as well. It’s probably at different times in history. But the truth is, just like anything else it’s all in the way you use the ceremony and the concept can be used however you want to do it.
Post # 11
If anybody read’s Diana Gabaldon’s books, they are set mid to late 1700s and describe handfasting as bonniebelle said, lasting for a year and then a decision is made as to permanent marriage, but also as a means of marrying in case of emergency. 🙂
I hadn’t thought of doing this at our wedding, but having seen this post I am now inspired to look into it. We are also having a non-religious ceremony, as my hubby-to-be is rather anti religion, but adding a more ceremonial element might be a very nice touch. Thanks for the ideas!