Handfasting brides – talk to me!

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 4
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Oh, I’m so interested in this too. We are planning a handfasting – I was nervous FI would reject it, too! But he really likes the idea.

I am thinking of using more utilitarian materials to make our cord. Personally, I’d prefer not to use ribbons. I am hoping for some differnt types of thin rope or cord to combine and make a single cord out of.
I haven’t run this by my FI so all of these could totally not happen, he might just want baby blue ribbon or something. That’s OK by me!

Our officiant suggested blending the Expression of Intent with the handfasting, so we will be saying our “I Do”‘s while the handfasting is taking place.
We’re writing the whole thing in conjunction with our officiant, and we trust her with the wording.

What I did before we met with the officiant was print out several ceremonies – religious, secular, some custom-written ceremonies. Lots of different wording so FI could see what he liked. I also printed out different additions to a ceremony, including handfasting.
It really helped move our conversation about the ceremony forward, as we could cross out what we didn’t like, circle what we did, and think of new ideas from the ones I had collected. We went into our officiant meeting well-prepared and with some very “us” requests.

Post # 7
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@codysgirl16:  She’s a secular minister. She is also a Certified Life Cycle Celebrant, but honestly I don’t know if those are interchangable. 🙂

I found her on WeddingWire.
Well, actually, that’s not really true… I found her through a post on WeddingBee to an example reading (about dinosaurs) on her website, and then looked her up on WeddingWire & her business website.

Another good place to find an officiant is Offbeat Bride and/or A Practical Wedding (both of which our officiant advertises with – but those sites can be picky about who they let advertise!)

She doesn’t specialize in handfasting per se, but she knows how to do it (and has done it before).

Post # 8
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@codysgirl16:  I just told him I was interested in it and that some people use it to replace the “I Do” part of the ceremony, which honestly has always made me a bit uncomfortable for some reason.
He was happy that I had such an interest in it and said OK to it right away. I got lucky – he’s very easygoing.
I had a page or two printed out with a bunch of info on handfasting for him to look at, too.
We didn’t actually show the research to the officiant, though she knew we had the papers. We wrote out a list of what we wanted to discuss with her and went over it together.

I think your colors sound fine!
I am not a big “wedding colors” person, so I really don’t think anything has to match your colors.
I know there is a tutorial (somewhere, can’t find it) out there to make the cord out of ribbon, but they also used beads and charms at the ends. It was lovely!

Post # 9
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Who was your officiant? Was it someone who specialized in handfastings? Or just a regular officiant who agreed to include this special bit? Our officiant was a friend who got ordained for the purpose of performing our ceremony

Where did you get your handfasting cord and what did it look like? How did you decide on the style? I made our cords. We each cholse colors based on their symbolism, and then I got trim pieces from the fabric store in those colors and braided the cords myself. Mr. LK chose black, silver, red, and white. I chose pink, brown, and gold. Mr. LK’s Gramma used his cord to bind us and my Dad used my cord to bind us. (photo of our cords below)

What script did you use? I wrote our wedding ceremony from scratch. Full text here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/our-ceremony-full-text#axzz2Y0OMTWvt

Where in the overall ceremony did you place this element? Our ceremony order was the processional, welcoming remarks, reading, exchange of rings (with reading and ring warming ceremony), handfasting, vows, pronouncement, recessional 

Post # 11
Member
3424 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

  • Who was your officiant? Was it someone who specialized in handfastings? Or just a regular officiant who agreed to include this special bit?
    My officant is my Circle Sister and an ordained Unitarian Minister. She is Pagan, like me, and is excited to be performing a handfasting. Though my Fiance is not Pagan he likes the concept of a handfasting and likes what it represents. My officiant asked me early in the planning proccess if this was going to be a full out Pagan wedding or if it will be a Secular wedding with Pagan sauce. I said Secular with Pagan sauce. 
  • Where did you get your handfasting cord and what did it look like? How did you decide on the style?
    I plan to make them with my officant and my FH. We will use the Witches messure, by which you mesure the cords to your hights and the lengths between certain body parts. We want to use 2 cords, knotted 3 times to make the number 6…the number of LOVE. 
  • What script did you use?
    These are the hands…. 
  • Where in the overall ceremony did you place this element?

  • Vows
  • rings
  • handfast
  • kiss

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