Post # 1
It’s time for FI and I to start talking about our ceremony – and I am so hopeful that he will agree to include a handfasting.
For those of you who included/are including this in your ceremony, would you please share:
- Who was your officiant? Was it someone who specialized in handfastings? Or just a regular officiant who agreed to include this special bit?
- Where did you get your handfasting cord and what did it look like? How did you decide on the style?
- What script did you use?
- Where in the overall ceremony did you place this element?
Thanks for your thoughts!
Post # 4
Oh, I’m so interested in this too. We are planning a handfasting – I was nervous FI would reject it, too! But he really likes the idea.
I am thinking of using more utilitarian materials to make our cord. Personally, I’d prefer not to use ribbons. I am hoping for some differnt types of thin rope or cord to combine and make a single cord out of.
I haven’t run this by my FI so all of these could totally not happen, he might just want baby blue ribbon or something. That’s OK by me!
Our officiant suggested blending the Expression of Intent with the handfasting, so we will be saying our “I Do”‘s while the handfasting is taking place.
We’re writing the whole thing in conjunction with our officiant, and we trust her with the wording.
What I did before we met with the officiant was print out several ceremonies – religious, secular, some custom-written ceremonies. Lots of different wording so FI could see what he liked. I also printed out different additions to a ceremony, including handfasting.
It really helped move our conversation about the ceremony forward, as we could cross out what we didn’t like, circle what we did, and think of new ideas from the ones I had collected. We went into our officiant meeting well-prepared and with some very “us” requests.
Post # 5
@CakeyP: Thanks fro responding! Is your officiant secular? Nonsecular? Does she have experience/specialize in handfastings?
We, um, don’t have an officiant, yet… And I’m trying to figure out where to start looking for one. How did you find yours?
Post # 6
@CakeyP: I’m trying to decide between making my cord or having it made (and blessed).
I’m not certain of the materials that I would like to use, but I would love to have it include colors that have certain meanings, and compliment our wedding palette:
- Pink – unconditional love, romance, nurturing
- Ivory – quiet, pleasantness, luster
- Gold – wealth, prosperity
- Brown – security, protection, material wealth
- Green – balance, growth
- Blue – trust, peace loyalty
Okay, so blue doesn’t really compliment our color palette, but I think trust, peace and loyalty are so important that I can’t NOT include it…
How did you present the concept to your FI? Great idea to pull up a bunch of scripts/text and show them to FI and then to the officiant.
Post # 7
@codysgirl16: She’s a secular minister. She is also a Certified Life Cycle Celebrant, but honestly I don’t know if those are interchangable. 🙂
I found her on WeddingWire.
Well, actually, that’s not really true… I found her through a post on WeddingBee to an example reading (about dinosaurs) on her website, and then looked her up on WeddingWire & her business website.
Another good place to find an officiant is Offbeat Bride and/or A Practical Wedding (both of which our officiant advertises with – but those sites can be picky about who they let advertise!)
She doesn’t specialize in handfasting per se, but she knows how to do it (and has done it before).
Post # 8
@codysgirl16: I just told him I was interested in it and that some people use it to replace the “I Do” part of the ceremony, which honestly has always made me a bit uncomfortable for some reason.
He was happy that I had such an interest in it and said OK to it right away. I got lucky – he’s very easygoing.
I had a page or two printed out with a bunch of info on handfasting for him to look at, too.
We didn’t actually show the research to the officiant, though she knew we had the papers. We wrote out a list of what we wanted to discuss with her and went over it together.
I think your colors sound fine!
I am not a big “wedding colors” person, so I really don’t think anything has to match your colors.
I know there is a tutorial (somewhere, can’t find it) out there to make the cord out of ribbon, but they also used beads and charms at the ends. It was lovely!
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Who was your officiant? Was it someone who specialized in handfastings? Or just a regular officiant who agreed to include this special bit? Our officiant was a friend who got ordained for the purpose of performing our ceremony
Where did you get your handfasting cord and what did it look like? How did you decide on the style? I made our cords. We each cholse colors based on their symbolism, and then I got trim pieces from the fabric store in those colors and braided the cords myself. Mr. LK chose black, silver, red, and white. I chose pink, brown, and gold. Mr. LK’s Gramma used his cord to bind us and my Dad used my cord to bind us. (photo of our cords below)
What script did you use? I wrote our wedding ceremony from scratch. Full text here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/our-ceremony-full-text#axzz2Y0OMTWvt
Where in the overall ceremony did you place this element? Our ceremony order was the processional, welcoming remarks, reading, exchange of rings (with reading and ring warming ceremony), handfasting, vows, pronouncement, recessional
Post # 10
@lovekiss: Thank you! I have started to draft a script – but what is the difference between an exchange of rings and vows?
The order I was thinking was processional, welcoming remarks/blessing, handfasting, ring ceremony (which I thought were vows), pronouncement, recessional.
I have already drafted in a ring warming – we are going to be in a circle and only about 40-50 people. How long did yours take – and did the officiant say anything during? My only worry with htis element is that there will be “dead space” and that folks might feel fidgety or awkward?
ETA: Bah – I’m a bad bride – I didn’t even think about asking FI what colors he wanted…
Post # 12
@lovekiss: Oh, dear, I just read your script and realized that I had copied it many months ago into my script samples…
Your welcoming remarks resonate so strongly with me that they are actually what I chose out of pages of research to include in my first draft.
I feel a bit awkward, knowing that you crafted them from scratch. May I ask your permission to utilize this section in our ceremony?