Handling unwanted attention for newly engaged person

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

jolieqe:  As uncomfortable as you may feel in the moment, try to look at it as an opportunity to challenge yourself and build on your relationships at work. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but it can be helpful to try and look at the positive of the situation!

Other than that, perhaps try and come up with a nice, short answer in advance that gives people enough details that hopefully they won’t follow up with a million questions, but that isn’t so short that it comes off as abrupt. Even if you keep it short, so long as you say it with a smile, people shouldn’t mistake your desire to not have an extended conversation for you being unfriendly.

“We picked the ring out together and then he surprised me with a proposal at XXX”


“He proposed at XXX and had already picked out a ring, which I love”

It doesn’t have to be long but if women want details, it normally means did you pick the ring together or did he do it, were you expecting the proposal, and where/how did he ask? Fire them all the answers in one sentence! Oh the joys of being an introvert – hope you get on ok and enjoy the excitement of your engagement


Post # 3
4587 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I was lucky, and no one really asked me about it at work. I had a few co-workers ask me about it when they saw the ring, but that was it. No one else seemed to care, and I never brought it up – unless someone asked me about it.

Any comments from colleagues who I didn’t interact with every day but somewhat knew, I’d just say thanks and answer any questions they have. But that’s me… I don’t like to talk about myself at work but if someone asks me about something, then I’ll open up with ease.

That was my experience anyway.

Post # 4
3653 posts
Sugar bee

I’m guessing that it is extremely common, for people to want to share your joy – your wedding will be one of the most important events, in your life.

Just wait until you’re pregnant and people will be touching and rubbing your stomach, all the time.

Post # 5
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

jolieqe:  I felt the exact same way you did and I’m super introverted as well. I was so happy to be engaged but I really hoped people (at work especially) wouldn’t notice because I didn’t want the attention.

Not too many people at work noticed and when they did there weren’t many questions, I work with mostly older men so they don’t squeal and ask tons of questions or anything lol.

I just keep it short and try not to keep on the subject too long. Yes, I love to spill my guts about every detail of the proposal to my mom or sister, but to strangers and acquaintences it’s “He proposed at home, on Christmas, just the two of us, it was very romantic! How was your vacation last week?” Or something like that.

Post # 6
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

PABride:  People seriously do that…rub your stomach???  Creepy.

Post # 7
3333 posts
Sugar bee

Has this actually happened to you yet? Because I’ve been engaged about 3 months now number aside from family/close friends when it just happened I’ve had maybe…3 people comment on the ring/fact that I’m engaged.

Sometimes  the bee makes you feel like everyone and their dog is going to stop and fawn over your ring but in all honesty that doesn’t really happen in real life. 

Post # 8
3653 posts
Sugar bee

jar111415:  They’ll put your hand over your stomach, like they’re a fortuneteller, to guess if it’s a boy or a girl. The whole time, you will definitely know what they are …..

Post # 9
25 posts
  • Wedding: October 2014

jolieqe:  I feel your pain. I’m rather shy and private, and I reallllly did not like the attention and I really didn’t like sharing our intimate moment with lots of people. Honestly, I kept my hands in my pockets a lot and kinda hid my ring until I got used to it and felt more comfortable sharing. Like after a few weeks it was not as new and it was easier for me to talk about it with people I barely knew. 

Post # 10
703 posts
Busy bee

jolieqe:  I had a proposal story worked out and down to about 30 seconds. It was the proposal but structured just to spout out all the details in one go Without getting to personal.

my boss doesn’t know I’m getting married in November my closer colleagues do. 

when I went to night college after work I used to pull my sleeve down over my hand as I didn’t need it writing ha ha no one actually knew I was engaged in the course for the next 6 months!

Post # 11
2501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

jolieqe:   People will ask once and then move on. My work people just said congrats, nothing over the top. Many people won’t even ask for the story because unless you are BFFs, most people don’t care.

Just keep it short and sweet and don’t offer up too many details it will help shorten the convo. Also after a week it will be old news so you won’t have to deal with it for long

Post # 12
2551 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I just booked the venue today, even though my SO technically has yet to put a ring on it (he’s in on booking the venue… we just really wanted our date reserved).  But when I booked it today, I was in my office with 2 other colleagues, mentioning “my fiance” and “the ceremony” to the venue representative on the phone … I got nothing from them.  No “are you engaged?” nor “congratulations!”  Radio silence.  I’ve officially decided that I’m going to expect people not to care.

Maybe you’ll have the same luck!

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