Post # 1
So I feel the need to share my joy! Recently I’ve posted on here about two major sadnesses in my life: getting engaged, and hating research.
Getting engaged made me so sad, so confused, and so frightened, but I’ve been PINING for it for a year or so now. It happened, I was sad, and it took reading a number of posts on this site to determine that maybe I wasn’t completely alone in this feeling.
Now we’ve been engaged for two and a half – threeish months, and everything’s starting to feel right again. Maybe it’s getting back into school again that’s doing it, but we feel like us again. We had an engangement party a few weekends ago and are going to get engagement photos taken this weekend, and FINALLY I’m back to feeling like I want to get married, I want to get married to him, and I want to plan our lives again. Hurray!
And a sidenote: I’m doing my research honours project in biology, and I’M LOVING SCIENCE AGAIN.
I’m done with the sad. Now I just have to plan my outfit for engagement photos and try to stall a breakout.
Have any of you guys gone into and come out of rough/sad patches following engagement (and/or repeated PCR contamination and failed cloning :P)? The contrasting JOY is rocking my socks.
Post # 3
YES! I had this feeling for the first 6 months! The past 2 months I can feel my self naturally wanting a wedding and a marriage, while the first few months of our engagement, I mourned the loss of my single life heavily. Getting used to the feeling in my head of starting a new family, and switching from being a daughter first to a wife first was baffling to me.
One thing that helped me was reading “The Conscious Bride”. It is a book that was recommended a lot on this site. After realizing that my feelings were normal and I was not alone or crazy, I started to feel the sad, hopeless feeling lift.
I now am excited to start touring venues and planning our wedding, whereas before I would not even talk about it. I always wanted to marry my Fiance and I thought I was going to just DIE those last few months of waiting, but once it happened I felt really different. Now I feel good and things are starting to come together and I feel REALLY HAPPY about the future.
I’m so glad to hear that you are feeling great, too. Isn’t it WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!! Now when someone asks if I am the Bride to Be I say YEP!! with excitement, and it feels GREAT.
Post # 4
I’ve seen you recommend it before and I think I might have to read it! I was so very puzzled because I’ve been in this same relationship for over four and a half years and it just hits me NOW that I’m never going to be single again? 😛
I think it was actually some of your posts that clued me into the idea that feeling this way did not mean the end of my life/relationship/the world, so THANKS! And keep spreading the word – this phenomenon seems little known and less talked about!
Post # 5
@everridiculous: I know what you mean with the ‘been together a while and it NOW hits me that I won’t be single again’!
It was worth reading, even if you are in a good spot now, since it talks a lot about mother/daughter relationships, too, and that is coming into play now for me…the wedding part of life brings out more emotions than I knew I was ready for! But it is so great to be in a happy spot, yes?
Post # 6
I’m so glad you guys talked about this. Really. I’m not engaged yet. But we’re deep in planning/purchasing mode to make sure it happens soon. Our entire relationship I knew this was something I wanted. I mean, no one has ever given me butterflies for more than 2 years straight.
But the moment we started making purchases and he started talking openly about marriage I freaked. I’m still in the process of freaking out. Why now? I don’t know. I’m nervous. I’m questioning my every thought, over-analyzing every conflict. I’m supposed to be more excited about this – I’ve seen it in other women – but I’m not and I don’t know why.
Ok. Trying not to thread jack. My point is I’m so happy you have talked about this and the roller coaseter of emotions you’ve gone through. It’s given me something to think about and added a little calm to my brain. I literally just ordered the Conscious Bride and the 5 Languages of Love. Thanks ladies!
@everridiculous:I’m so happy you’ve finally found some inner peace. Congrats on your engagement! And good luck with class! 🙂
Post # 7
Im glad that you are feeling better 🙂 I had feelings like this right after we moved in together, kind of started freaking out.
p.s I know all too well the frustration of contaminated PCR lol, I am a molecular virologist haha…I have been fighting with an old, close to expiration primer/probe set for Influenza this week, FDA just cleared the new one, and we just got it delivered yay!!