hard day

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
782 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Hugs, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with needing a bit of a tantrum and some magnums every now and again. It’s super tough when other people get things so easily and you want it so badly as well. just try and not think about it ( I know it’s easier said than done) and enjoy those magnums:) 

Sometimes it helps me to think of the things that I DO have that others might be jealous of. I.e engaged, married, degrees, jobs, house then I remember that I started out with nothing and everything eventually fell into place and I hope everything works out for you 

Post # 3
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

morningcoffee:  I SO know how you feel.  It seems like everyone I know is having a baby in either January or April–  the two months I was due before two losses.  It’s a horrible feeling when others good news makes you feel so bad.  Like PP said, try to remember all the things that you’ve already gotten in life that others are trying/ hoping for.  Also, I’ve been trying to remember that someone else getting pregnant has no impact on my life, it doesn’t make my clock actually tick any faster.  It’s not a race and sometimes the waiting is for good reason– there might be something around the corner that you’ll be really happy you’re NOT pregnant for, or maybe you’ll achieve something that makes having a baby even better. For me, we bought a house and I got a promotion AFTER my first loss.  Now we are living in our own home and my career is at a calm but higher level.  It would have been great to put a baby in one of our guest rooms (waiting to be nursery) in January, but I’m glad to have all that behind us now while we get back to trying again.

Post # 4
Member
12794 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Do whatever you need to do on these hard days, TTC is full of them.  I had no less than 6 pregnancy announcements with in 3-6 months of starting, 2 first time tries, 3 accidents… and that was about 2 years ago.  Now some of them are pregnant again, and I’m still trying.  Either it gets easier, or I just get numb to it most the time now, but there are always some really hard days.

Post # 5
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

morningcoffee:  I understand. I am sending hugs your way. <br />Yesterday I had a tough day because it was confirmed that I had a chemical pregnancy, and before getting the news I was on the train to work and there were 3 pregnant women, one who was sitting next to me. All I could think was “I wish that was me”

Your husband is right, your time will come. 

My aunt helped me put things into perspective and said that it wasn’t meant to be, and the world works in mysterious ways. When its time, it will happen. <br /><br />I know its easier said than done, but don’t stress.

I am actually reading a self-help book right now to help me NOT stress out! I can’t afford a therapist right now, otherwise I would be going lol

Feel better

Post # 6
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

One of my closest friends announced her pregnancy a few days after I had a chemical after a year and a half of trying and one other MC last year. I wanted to be happy for her, but I was devastated. Thankfully she sent a group text to our group of friends and I was working from home so I just spent a good hour or so crying my eyes out. It’s hard, some days so much harder than others, but hopefully your time will come very soon.

Post # 7
Member
3499 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

morningcoffee:  I can definitely relate. I swear this week every other day I was hearing “Oh so-and-so is pregnant.” I’m happy for them, but deep down it crushes me each time. Granted we’ve only been trying a short time, but like you and your husband, I know our time WILL come.. it still sucks to hear all these girls getting pregnant when you want it so bad. 

Take a deep breath and just keep at it.. that’s what I told my husband this month after a negative test “Well I guess we’ll just keep trucking along!” Best of luck to you 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1959 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Kinda sounds like my morning.  Just yesterday I was talking with my co-worker who told me she thinks she might be pregnant again.  Her first was an ‘oops’ and if she is pregnant, they concieved on her honeymoon and weren’t ready for another kid.  I jokingly told her “well if you don’t want it, I’ll take it!”.  Low and behold, she tells me this morning she is in fact pregnant.  No tears here, but like pinkshoes, I may just be getting numb. 

Eat as much chocolate as you want today!

Post # 9
Member
6461 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

morningcoffee:  It’s tough to hear news like this. Whenever I hear a pregnancy announcement, it gets me sad for like a day, but I try to enjoy the moment. After all not being pregnant means I can do many things I couldn’t do otherwise, so I try to enjoy them now. Drink some coffee! I see you have the word coffee in your WB name, so I thought you might like it. Very soon, it will be you sharing the news!

Post # 10
Member
2593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Been there, done that!  It seemed like every time CD 1 rolled around, someone else (friend, coworker, facebook friend, whatever), would announce their pregnancy.  I actually DID break down sobbing in the breakroom once after a coworker announced her pregnancy.  And you WANT to be happy for the other person, but you can’t fully, or can’t at all, and then you feel like an asshole so you just feel worse.

DH was supportive, but I think it’s hard for them to fully understand sometimes how painful it is for us as women, when we want so desperately to be a mother.  I think DH was also hurt because he felt like I wasn’t happy with our family the way it was (him, me, plus the dog and cats).  Which also kind of made me feel like an asshole.

Try to keep your chin up, but if you need to cry, or scream, or vent, that’s okay.  And lots of baby dust to you!

Post # 11
Member
6121 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

ugh, that’s the worst.  when my DH said almost the same thing about 6 months into our journey. “it will happen when the time is right.”  i practically jumped down this throat.  “the time is right now, we are both ready.”

i feel you.  we are 14 cycles into our journey with 1 failed IUI.  i can’t say it gets any better but you just have to take it one day at a time and do the best you can.  staying busy works best for me.

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