Post # 1
Sometimes when I read problems Bees are having with their SOs/DHs/FIs I feel very badly for them and want to tell them to RUN! It makes me nervous for them that they will have a terrible life. I even married a guy where those several years were absolutely the worst in my life. And I see these Bees saying some of the things that I experienced or that their SOs acted like mine did. But, truly we only get a teeny, tiny part of the story so who knows what’s really best? We are just random strangers on the internet. And also I know it’s hard to leave sometimes. Really hard. This is just sort of an observation on life in the digital age. I really feel for you Bees going through difficult SO times. That’s all really.
Post # 2
I agree. I try my hardest to see the situation from multiple perspectives. What if this is the situation? What if it’s not? We can just do our best to help! People post their problems for a reason… they just need some outside insight. No one can tell 100% what another person’s relationship is like, even if we’ve known the person for years.
Post # 3
I feel like though, especially since a lot of bees are rather young, sometimes they don’t know or see that something is wrong until someone else points it out.
I have a friend who has a pretty awful boyfriend who she has dated since high school. She randomly would tell me these awful things he was doing like it was no big deal, all guys were like this. Then when I say “That’s not ok” she used to get upset because “I didn’t know him”
I feel like there are certain actions or behaviors that no matter your level of knowing someone, they aren’t ok and there isn’t a side of the story that would make it ok.
Post # 4
I agree with you ladies.
I know being one of these bee’s that has posted about issues, it is honesty so relieving to know you arent the only one. And is so indearing and appreciative getting any sort of post whether its what you want to hear or not. I am thankful for these boards, cause sometimes its hard to talk to the closest people to you. Dont wnt them to form an opinion or judge out of love.
RedHeadKel: I know you recently commented on one of my posts and I thank you for your honesty. Specially not knowing all sides of the stories. Always takes two to tango and hard to form a full opinion when you only know one side but everything is appreciated.<br /><br />
The man you married, did you guys work through these issues or are you no longer with him?
Post # 5
RedHeadKel: I think for anyone that has been burned in a relationship, we tend to see those red flags more quickly in other people’s stories. This happens with me when I read “waiting bees” posts, as someone who waited for a very long time for a guy that just didn’t want to marry me. I just want to say “STOP WASTING YOUR TIME ON HIM!” But I also know that no two relationships are the same and not all of them end up like my past experiences. Also, I feel like a lot of people come on here just wanting validation that they are doing the right thing and sometimes hear what they don’t want to hear. It is hard to tell someone who is in love that they should leave, they have to come to that conclusion on their own.
Post # 6
damarajade: You’re right. Sometime I’m sure a little insight is all that might be needed.
a_day_at_the_fair: I have assumed a lot of Bees are way younger than me so I do get that “big sister, been there” kind of thoughts. Like I want to pull them away from the train wreck.
Nikkimcq: Oh, and this was totally not aimed at you. Just something I’ve been thinking of for a while. No, we are no longer together. I finally got out of it and finally learned what I should be looking for in a mate. Now I’m married to a great guy!
ShhhItsaSecret: This is so true! It’s definitely way easier to be on the outside looking in. And also true about no 2 relationships. I’ve never been a waiting bee (not for crazy long) and so I don’t have a clue what that’s like, but it seems sometimes it works out.
Post # 7
RedHeadKel: I know it wasn’t aimed at me 🙂 and I totally get what your saying! But your post is very true. Happy to hear you are a bee that truly listens to your heart and did what you had to for your happiness! Takes a lot of power to do it!!