Post # 1
Hey all. I’m new to the weddingbee boards (though I have been engaged for about 6 months). I’m currently a junior in college, as is my FI. We have been together since we were 15/16, and have maintained a long distance relationship while in college. We plan to get married in the fall after we graduate (September 2012!), but haven’t been able to start much planning yet. The only thing I’ve done towards planning is pick my BM’s, who happen to be the 3 girls I share an apartment with at college and my best friend from HS.
Now for the real issue- my parents can’t seem to take this wedding thing seriously. (I haven’t even been able to bring up the money thing yet- so far I don’t know a budget or even how this is going to be paid for…) Everyone seems to be generally happy for us, and we haven’t really gotten the “too young” thing. But when I try to talk wedding with my mom, she just laughs at me and tells me I have “a long time to think about that stuff, and there’s no need to start now”. I still live with my parents while I’m home from school, so they don’t exactly see me as grown up. (I am the oldest child.)
Help! How can I talk wedding with my mom and get her to take me seriously?!??!
PS sorry for the long post, I’m just completely at a loss for how to get started..
Post # 3
Make 3 appointments all for 1 day to see venues you like and talk to them as if you are serious about your date and bring mom along. It will hopefully hit her that this is really happening during that day.
Post # 4
First, don’t go in expecting them to give you money unless they’ve said before that they will take care of it. Second, the next time you go and talk to her, have ideas, as in show her pictures, venues, etc. Start talking colors, dresses, and all things wedding related, how big/how small, and then go into the money talk. If they aren’t going to help and you and FH need to come up with the money then mention that you’ll probably go with a JOP service or something much more affordable. Put everything in real terms with examples, start throwing out specific dates so its no longer an idea but an actual event.
Post # 5
I would tell her that you set a date for xx/xx/xxxx.
IF THEY ARE PAYING FOR IT
If it is in Sep 2012 you do have a while. I would just write a list of what you will be needing. I never did discuss a budget with my parents. I just ask first and tell my mom the price of things.
I would start researching venues and dresses and talk about the price with her. That is the only talk of budget I have ever had, my mom would always say, ‘that is not too bad’ or ‘that is a lot’
I would also concentrate on school and do planing on breaks. So start your planning during the summer.
Post # 6
Can we switch Moms? Mine is riding my ass daily asking if I made any decisions! lol! The easiest way to be taken seriously is to do something serious about it IMO. If you aren’t ready to make decisions on venues, place, caterers etc yet since its so far away how about going for an engagement shoot around your school or somewhere meaningful? Even better send out a wedding announcement – something printed and tangible for her to see.
I can’t offer any advice about budget… it was clear from the start we were on our own and when my Mom did worriedly put in a ‘we’ll help somehow…’ I shot her down and said not to worry about it.
Post # 7
If I were in your position I would probably just start talking money. Money tends to make people take things seriously and listen up!