Post # 1
I feel a bit hypocritical as I was just on this board a week or two ago saying that I was happy w/ my relationship and content with waiting for a proposal. That was of course before Saturday night. I will start by saying I am fully confident that my SO will propose to me, however I can’t say for sure anymore exactly when that would be (though I still consider myself waiting). We’ve been together almost 2 years now.
I kept my trap shut all through the holidays and the first part of this year. I didn’t expect a holiday proposal (Christmas/NYE/Valentines) though SO did mention once he’d thought about proposing on New Years. I know he also was talking about the 1-year anniversary of us moving in together (which came and went in late February). Since mid Fall he’s mentioned multiple times how his coworkers have referred to me as his wife and when he corrected them, they told him to “lock that up and propose”. We laughed about it each time and I sort of knowingly nodded, “yep, you should do that” to which he replies “Yep I will”.
Well, after lots of these references and nothing in the works that I know of, I finally asked him on Saturday what his timeline was for proposing, when he thought we would be engaged. He was vague and said he wanted to ask my father first for his blessing and asked again when we would see them. I will tell you, we live across the country from my parents and possibly talked about heading back to visit this summer. He’s brought it up multiple times in the past month so it clicks together that he’s thinking that has to happen before he proposes.
The last time we spoke about a timeline for engagement (mid-fall last year), he said Spring 2014 pretty emphatically. Now he says after he speaks to my dad in person which, given the distance between us and them, is rather frustrating for me (we saw them in October but he said he didn’t find a good time to talk to him). I got pretty upset while talking, just kind of sad that it would be quite a bit longer than he’d led me to believe. He has no ring in the works but says about the proposal “I know how I want to do it” which is great an all, but… uh, get on it buddy. Just a hard waiting night.
I will say again, I know he will propose at some point, I’m just frustrated with his loosey-goosey approach to all this. CALL MY DAD ON THE PHONE 😛
Post # 2
Ugh that is frustrating! Why can’t he have a skype date or FaceTime with them? Is it even important to you that he talks to your dad? I would just have him forget it!
And I think we have twin cats!
Post # 3
@hollyberry4 – Haha! We do have twin kitties (I have two kitties and both look similar to yours). Is yours talkative? My girl is.
I will say I think it is sweet SO wants to ask my dad. I’ve been thinking that I want to clarify with him he is asking for my father’s blessing and not his permission because I am a grown woman and that is not necessary. (I also know my family adores him so this conversation should be incredibly easy). I just don’t get why he won’t just call my father up and talk to him over the phone (or skype/etc…).
I don’t want him to propose to me any earlier than he’s ready but the way he’s been talking the past 4-5 months tells me he is ready, just dragging his feet on the details (talking to my dad, getting a ring ordered, etc…) which is pretty typical of how he handles complicated things in his life 😛
Post # 4
AbqAndrea: so frustrating! I was the same way about not wanting DH to ask for “permission”. Maybe schedule an impromptu long weekend back to the parents’ house? Haha!
And we have 2 also… They are brothers. They both talk but one is definitely more chatty than the other! Let me see if I can find a picture of the other one.
Post # 5
Her is the other one! And one of them snuggling this weekend. Sorry to thread jack! I was just so excited to see your kitty as your avatar!
Post # 6
Here is my beauty, Sophie 😛 My permanantly cross-eyed lil’ one (the other one has same markings but is a chubbo, not so siamese looking). Well hijack away, it seems to be brightening my mood either way 🙂
Post # 7
This sucks, and I’m sorry. It sort of sounds like what my SO is doing…he keeps telling me that something is in the works, that he’s “waiting for something to happen”, etc. Except, we haven’t talked about it at all in a couple months. I’m giving him some breathing room.
We had our first kiss in the rain, so I figured he was waiting until rainy season to do it…but it’s March and we live in the Bay Area so rainy season is pretty much over. Plus who bases a proposal on the weather?? Haha.
I would maybe let him know that it’s more important to you that you be engaged to him and start planning your future together than have him ask your dad in person. I would hate to hinge your future plans on a technicality (in person vs. on the phone. Dad will understand).
My timeline is always getting shifted around too, and now I just plain have no idea. So you’re not in this boat alone girly! Keep your head up.
Post # 8
I love how this became a cat post!
I’ve been with my man for 7 years, our anniversary was Valentines Day. We designed and bought a ring last December. It’s upstairs now and not on my finger.
I’ve thought many times that he would propose, but he hasn’t. It makes me wonder, why are you waiting?
He says it will happen this year, but then I think, if he proposes to me in November or December, how much time does that leave to plan a wedding?
I’m going crazy as well, especially because the ring is within reach. I’m trying to be good, I haven’t looked at it since January, but it’s getting harder and harder.
We’re here for you, we’re all waiting.
And you can be assured, we’re all just as frustrated.
Post # 9
I feel your pain, as I’m sure many other ladies can as well. I think one thing we forget about is how unbelievably nervous guys get at the thought of actually popping the question. Even when they know what your answer will be, for some reason there’s something about putting themselves “out there” that makes them drag their feet.
There’s so much pressure to say the right words while making sure they’re giving you a story to tell your friends and family that they probably overthink it and end up paralized with the fear of messing it up. Right now in related topics I see a topic subject “How do I forgive FI for not giving me a proper proposal?” Think about how scary it can be that they might not live up to your expectations?
I waited 7 years, and he proposed while we were in the biggest fight we had ever been in. He asked me to come out to the backyard with him (presumably so that we could continue arguing without the kids hearing anything), but instead he gets down on one knee with the ring in his hand (and stays there for 5 minutes while I tell him how horribly poor his timing is–lol).
Maybe his thinking was that if I will consider marrying him while we’re in this state, then it must be true love. 🙂 Who knows…but they have their own issues and self-doubts to work through. Just know that when he’s ready, he will truly be ready!
I’ve always found Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie works in times like these.