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Did it work out? Was your FI great at it, or did you take the responsibility back because it wasnt getting done?
I felt overwhelmed with the DJ thing, so I handed the responsibility of taking care of all things DJ, including finding one, double checking to make sure we're on the DJ's schedule, giving a deposit, telling what songs we want and dont want. You know stuff like that.
Anyway, my FI got a good deal with a DJ, who is friends with his brother for 400,my FI's brother talked to the DJ, and then told my FI. Im fine with that. Well, months later, maybe 8 months later, which is now, I would like to get the contact info for the DJ(my FI never bothered to get it). I have tried to get my FI to get the name of the DJ and contact info before, but to no avail.
So I told him last week that we have GOT to get contact info for the DJ. Its silly that we dont have the phone # to our OWN DJ! I would like to call him to make sure we're still on his schedule and that he is still doing it for 400. Only reason I want to know is because we dont have a contract because hes friends with my FI's brother.
My FI said that its no big deal, we dont need it yet,etc,etc. I had it at that point. I told him fine you ARE in charge of the DJ, but when you finally do get the contact info and you call him and he tells you that we are NOT on his schedule,or something else, you can be the one to explain to all our family and friends WHY we dont have any music.I told him its all on you!
I know I could ask my FI's brother for it, but I already had a bad experience trying to get info from him about something else and dont want to go there again.
So ladies. How did it go with you when you put your FI in charge of something??
I am pretty much planning everything, FI is putting in his two sense but I'm the one doing all the research, etc...
I gave him one task to plan and that is the Honeymoon, he can plan it all by himself. I just told him I want to go somewhere where there's a beach, hot sun and I'll be happy :-) I'll let you know how he does once I get there hehe
Hubs did all kinds of stuff, including the florist :) It all went pretty well.
My husband helped out with a ton of things for the wedding. I think we split things pretty equally in terms of planning, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. He was much better at calling up vendors/rentals and taking care of all of those things, while I headed up the charge on all of our DIY projects. It was perfect for us!
I put him in charge of the music and dealing with the DJ and the string trio.
He's also building our card box and the box for the ring warming.
And picking groomsmen attire and gifts.
And I also told him he's in charge of the honeymoon. :) I don't care where we go, for how long, or anything else. He's making my dreams come true with tickets to see our favorite band in Florence, Italy - but other than that, I have no clue what else we're doing or where it'll be. Thank god. If I had to add planning this to my list I'd lose my effing mind.
The only thing he really did solo was coordinate the rehearsal dinner (sort of--his parents paid for it and helped a ton, but he ordered the food!). Other than my dress and the BM dresses, DH pretty much helped me with everything too, though.
I put DH in charge of the actual ceremony, since he is a pastor. :) I also asked him to order the unity sand kit (though, of course, I had a lot of input on color and style), take care of obtaining the marriage license, and arrange for the out-of-town-guests' hotel accommodations. I also had him take the lead on planning the rehearsal dinner (but, of course, I had a lot of input on venue and menu!) :)
I guess thats the key. Put him in charge but have a lot of say so with it! lol
The only thing I put my FI in charge of is to tell his brothers and cousin about the bridal party stuff and he told me he will get to it. My FI is a real slacker and would not trust him with anything. I love him to death but know he is not good at keeping up with any wedding stuff.
My FI found our ceremony venue and I have found our reception venue and photographer but he has been with me at every meeting I had with vendors. My FI is very much involved with the planning because he wants me not to over stress about the wedding planning. Right now, he's looking up potential DJs and he already has some caterers in mind that he wants to check out.
My FI is in charge of dealing with the groomsman and certain vendors, laying out the invites (he's much more computer saavy than I am and we're DIYing them), and helping with other little tasks.
Sometimes I have to remind him three or four times to do things but he does get them done eventually ;)
our bach and bachelorette party - we are doing it as a joint celebration. It was the one thing he is SUPer excited about! :) we are renting a houseboat for 3 days!
I probably won't be putting FI in charge of much besides sending him to get measured for his tux. I hate to say it, but he just doesn't get everything that goes into a wedding and will probably be way too laid back about the wrong things (case in point: we've been engaged for 4 months and he hasn't once looked up or researched anything on his own, not even out of curiosity). Not to mention that right around the 3-6 month mark when I'll be running around like crazy to make sure everything is getting finalized, it will be playoff football time (yes, FI is a total football nerd).
With all of that being said, I am going to ask his input on most everything and he will be coming with me to make decisions on things like the food, cake, etc.
I put my FI in charge of the DJ too... I had a list of names for him to call. He talked to one, they seamed cool, but I ended up having to call them the next day. Fail.
FI is in charge of getting his suit and the groomsmen attire and gifts. I'm pretty much planning everything.
While completing one of my DIY projects, I had him round the corners of the insert cards for the STDs..He was just relaxing on the sofa lol.
My FH has been (according to him), dreaming about being married for a long time.
He also has really strong opionions about weddings in general and wants this to be "ours" not any kind of "princess for a day" thing.
So we do everything together; plan, research, debate and interview vendors. The only thing we're doing separately are our clothing (my dress / his suit); although we've each expressed our opinions on what we like/dislike.
I put DH in charge of the honeymoon. I did the entire wedding. And had an absolute blast doing so.
My FI has been in charge of researching and booking the venues and catering in his country, though obviously with my input. It's gone all right so far. It depends on your organisational styles, though -- I'm pretty laidback whereas FI is the kind of person who likes to have everything scheduled in advance. It sounds like the styles are flipped in your case?
He's in charge of DJ, food and guys attire! Hes happy!
PS. I do have a bit of final say in all ;)
I run all ideas by my FI, but the only thing he's really in charge of is the food. He has the final decision in the caterer and all things food related. My coordinator and I are planning the rest!
My FI is a professional musician so he is having his friends do live music for the ceremony. One of our best friends is DJing for us and FI arranged that with our friend.
I told my FI to make a bamboo arbor for the ceremony since he's handy with tools.
My FI was real excited about the photobooths at wedding events so I told him he could make one and assign some groomsmen to set it up if he wanted a photobooth at the wedding.
He's not contributing monetarily towards the wedding since he's a grad student so he gets to build stuff.
He's in charge of the honeymoon costs (hotel in boston, hotel in cancun, airfare) but he's struggling to buy plane tickets which we need to buy right now :/
My FI is in charge of the DJ, music selection and attire for the groomsmen. :)
FI is in charge of photographer, DJ, and his suit. We're going with regular black suits for the GMs.
Jason's stepped up and tackled a lot of things for me. He was in charge of getting all of the addresses of the guests and inputting them on the digital RSVP database we'll use to track RSVPs and make the seating chart.
He and I went 50/50 on the cake design and tasting. I gave him the photographer earlier but then he hit a wall with one and I spotted another by chance.
Our coordinator suggested our DJ so Jason took care of setting up our account and all that.
He's also 100% responsible for the GM and his outfits. He's going to surprise me with what he looks like in the same way he won't see my dress beforehand.
He was in charge of loads. Maybe even more than me! He was paying for the whole wedding so was in charge of the budget. He's much more into music than me, so was in charge of finding a string quartet and band and coming up with the playlists. He surprise me with how traditional he wanted the day.
Let him have some control and your FI may surprise you too!
We planned everything together, but when it came to executing these plans I delegated DH 2 things: tuxes and rehearsal dinner.
I ended up making the tux fitting appointment and getting all his groomsmen together. He forgot to pick up the tuxes, but thankfully the best man asked about picking up his tux from us 2 days before the wedding and I realized WE HAD NO TUXES so I had to race over to the rental shop. DH will go to the grave blaming the store for not calling him to let him know the tuxes were ready, even though the paper work said they'd arrive on such and such date.
The rehearsal dinner, he ended up telling the restaurant manager he wanted to spend $900 and let them decide. My mom can't eat spicy or shrimp. The meal was 75% spicy and 85% shrimp. And the food was subpar. We went to a chinese restaurant and none of the traditional wedding dishes were even present (we are chinese btw). I am still furious at him for this. And to top it off, the bill came out to be $1300 !!!!
He was supposed to tweak the slideshow after I picked out the photos. He didn't. I stayed up all night 3 days before the wedding to finish the slide show.
*sigh* Good luck!
Like most of you, I am doing everything. I try to get his thoughts on things, sometimes he cares and sometimes not so much. Even when he doesn't give his opinion, I am trying to make choices with his likes in mind because I'm really trying to make it our day, not mine. He helped with the venue selection, had we not landed on our 3rd location, I'm not sure how many more I would have gotten him to go to. He came to one photographer appt and asked me to please never make him go to one of those again.
One thing I did put him in charge of is our card box, because we are using a tree stump that he is supposed to be carving out and he started it, but his dad seemed to do more of it than him. and it isn't done yet, I just asked him how it was going this weekend and he said not to worry about it. I now gave him a deadline, we'll see how it goes.
I also originally put him in charge of favors as we are making wooden coaster, his dad ended up cutting them for us to.
So he has kind of gotten out of the things I have given him to do. He is in charge of the groomsmen gifts. we'll see how that goes when the time gets closer.
So far, I'm pretty much doing everything. I'm the one doing all the researching, planning, etc., although he has come with me when we booked most of the vendors. When we went for the cake testing, he actually designed our cake - haha.
He offered to be the one to plan the honeymoon, but he hasn't really done much research on it, so I have a feeling I'll be planning that, too.
I gave complete control of the reception music to my husband. We did an ipod wedding so it was really a ton of work to create all the playlists. We got into a few fights because I wanted it done about 2 months early so that we'd have lots of time to listen and tweak, which did not happen. But in the end he got it done and it was fabulous!! I'm so glad I handed it over ot him.
Oh also, I gave complete control of all floral to my mom-- which was also awesome. I gave her a few guidelines (colors), but other than that just let her do it (I didn't even meet the florist) and it was so nice to not have to worry about it.
I've been doing most of the research, but he's given his opinion on everything. He's also in charge of picking our first dance song. I have no idea what it is but he put a lot of thought into it and I can't wait to hear it. He really enjoyed that :)
As we get closer, we'll probably divide up tasks more.
My Fi was in charge of everything at first. He really got the ball rolling for me. He was amazing. His recent endeavor was printing the invites and response cards and direction cards. He used to be president of his frat and had a lot of experience event planning.
@Earlybride: Well mine gave me a lecture because I was getting a wee bit excited and leaving him out of some things...so now he is involved with EVERYTHING. I think it's adorable and fun to have the groom involved =)
i've been doing most things (asking him for his opinion before i book anything) but he isn't very decisive! when i give him two options, he always says "whatever you like!" which is good.. but sometimes i just want an opinion! he will be in charge of his groomsmen and what they wear.. and probably will have more control over the food!
I';ve done pretty much everything without Mr Elk, including booking a DJ. Then, he decided to tell me he REALLY wants a string ensemble to play at our ceremony (because he thinks its fancy or some BS...I don't really get it). I told him if he did the work we could have them. I told him this about 6 months. He only NOW started doing research, and expected me to call the DJ and ask about changing our contract... ARGG sometimes he is so annoying.
DH took care of a few really big things for me, like the reception hall, the DJ, the church, the officiant, and helped with various misc. projects as I needed him. He was super helpful and I was so happy to not have to do everything myself!
As to your situation, I would definitely get the contact info for the DJ asap. Even with friendors, I would still have some sort of contract, even if it's basic, just so there is no confusion and you aren't left high and dry on your wedding day.
My DH was in charge of the cake and the photographer. He was such a HUGE help! I'm really thankful that he was as involved as he was in the planning...I couldn't have done it without him!
FI was supposed to be in charge of building our faux-tobooth wall and the alcohol. I ended up having to plan the wall building myself at the last minute because FI never bothered to plan a weekend for it, even though he had been saying he'd do it for about seven months.
As for the alcohol, well, I've been nagging him about it constantly for four weeks (and feeling like a total b**** for nagging him all the time), and we still don't have any alcohol. Our wedding is in ten days.
I love my FI, but I really kind of want to murder him right now.
ETA: I guess I should say that he's been a great help on most things, but anything he's been in charge of just has not happened. A few days ago, he got mad at me for continuing to ask him about the alcohol. "I told you I'd do it, and I'll do it. You don't need to worry about it." That's what you told me WEEKS ago, buster, and you still haven't done it, so excuse me for worrying.
Yes, and now we are having a country western wedding theme. All the men are wearing boots and wrangler jeans and cowboy hats. We are also having a full pig roast. Oh and i cant forget the cheese burgers on skewers.
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