Has anyone else not told their friends and family members?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@lovelymuse:  My FI insists on telling everyone in person so we’re still getting the word out (the only non-in person was my parents since they live in another state).  We’ve been engaged for three months and we still haven’t told his father.  It’s what works for you.  Are you waiting for the ring to make it official?  Why don’t you want to tell people?  If it’s because you don’t want to deal with people’s questions then you might consider developing a standard answer to tell people.  You’re not doing anything wrong, you’re just doing it on your own time.  I would caution you that if it comes out that some people knew months before others did then their feelings could be hurt and they could feel left out.

Post # 4
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

My mum knows that I’m hoping to marry BF and that’s it (and I don’t think she’s aware of quite how crazy I’ve gone lol) 🙂

I hate talking about something, or sharing the *possibility* of good news when there really is only a chance it’ll happen, or maybe I’m certain it will happen but not for ages, and that doesn’t just go for the subject of getting married. So yeah I totally get you, and I’d be surprised if it weren’t the more common line of thinking ^^

Post # 5
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@lovelymuse:  Yesterday I told my mom that SO and I are planning to get married next year but I wasn’t planning to say anything until it is official (until he proposes). The situation we were in required me to tell her. She is the first person (other than WB) I told and her response was “Oh… so you and Mr. Browneyes have your plans and you weren’t telling anyone.”  little less exciting than I’d hope. I’m the last of 4 daughters… I dunno if she expected me to live there forever.

I haven’t told anyone else as yet. My SO is spreading the word so I will have to do so as well.

Post # 6
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

His parents are definitely more involved/encouraging in the whole process. My parents know on some level that we’re going to get married, but I don’t think they realize that it’s going to happen so soon (although I think my mom has some idea). My parents (mom, especially) are against getting married young, so it’s kind of a sore subject. I know once it happens she’ll be happy for me, and I already told SO he has to talk to them before hand to let them know he’s doing it (so they’ll be warned), but we don’t really talk about it at all. My SO’s parents, on the other hand, always bring up us getting engaged and married, so it’s definitely different.

Post # 7
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

My parents are fully on board. His parents…I don’t think they know. I’ve been told they don’t…not yet. Who knows. His family must suspect something though, we’ve been dating for 3+ years.

Post # 8
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee

I’m in the other boat. I’ve told all my friends because I was too excited to keep it to myself lol I told my family because he’s going to ask for their blessing (I know, I know…it’s what they want and I didn’t want them to be caught off guard). He hasn’t told any of his family and I don’t think he plans to until he’s actually proposed, most of his friends know though.

Everyone knows his/her own circle….some people can handle the news, some people will be judgy with no ring…some people will ask too many question, etc. Don’t tell anyone that’s going to ruin your waiting excitement!

Post # 9
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@lovelymuse:  Well my SO can’t help but to tell everyone and post lil marriage things on FB. We went to look at rings but haven’t bought anything and we both feel that even though we pretty much know what we want for a wedding nothing is offical until he ask. His mother bumped unto us while we were looking for rings we didn’t tell her or anyone but my 3 close cousins and only God knows how many friends he informed lol. So both his parents know that a proposal is coming they are the ones asking him “what’s the hold you”. My family doesn’t know and will not be informed until we are engaged. It’s funny cuz the people who are blabbing are my cousin and my SO lol I’m a little quiet on it except for on the “bee” lol. The mean ones either me or SO have informed will most likely be a part of the bridal party. And they are the ones already making plans lol. with my family I’m a reserved person they don’t totally get me, but they do love SO and think of him like family. It’s not wierd for us that just how we are with family his talk and plan and stuff and honestly I’m not like that with mine. They will be excited but I’m not looking for the outside input I know mine will want to give.

Post # 10
Member
1234 posts
Bumble bee

@lovelymuse:   Three of my best friends know (and a fourth, I’m sure, since he’s dating one of those three) but no one in my family has any inkling we’ve discussed weddings. I’m not sure how they’d react, honestly. All of my friends are supportive but they don’t bring it up because they know we’re not engaged and we will get engaged when we decide it’s a good idea.

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