Has anyone ever……………..?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
5160 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

There’s actually quite a lot of controversy about ideas like that on these boards.

From what I”ve see, it usually causes a lot of family drama to go about things that way.  Also, most people would call wedding #2 a vow renewal at that point, not a wedding.  

It’s ok to go against the grain, just make sure you know that’s what your doing and be prepared to deal with disenters.

Also – what’s your motivation for the 2 wedding approach?  I think that makes a difference.

Post # 4
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@tobemrstaddesse:  do you mean doing both? or you were going to have a big one and are now thinking of a small one. its not clear

Post # 6
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We did a ceremony with 9 of us total and just kept it a secret from most of SO’s extended family because we had already planned the big October wedding of this year. 

His mom said we “had to” keep it a secret and we have. We did ours for immigration purposes but Id do it again. It sucks that I can’t openky call him my husband to a lot of ppl or wear my wedding band all the time but it is what it is. 

Post # 8
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

You need to ask yourself how you would view these weddings if they were held by someone else. Would you see one as the “real” wedding and one as the “fake” one?

Would it look like they were trying to get gifts at the second wedding?

I would 100% call the second wedding a vow renewal, but vow renewals are normally not 300+ people big. 

My guess is that in 3 years you’d rather spend that money on something else given that you’ll already feel married. 

Do you both have extremely large families? 300+ is a very, very large wedding. Could you swing a 150 person wedding sooner and compromise? 

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