Has anyone ever been in an FWB type

posted 2 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

PortiaPie:  Well if it is friends with benefits there really isn’t anything to work out.

It just happens, you have fun and at the end of the day you can walk away not wanting anything more. Then it ends when someone gets into a relationship or starts seeing someone else or for whatever reason. I would think mostly ending on good terms.

I guess you would look for someone who you feel comfortable with and have fun but dont really see in a future partner kind of way. Idk it was never something i went exactly looking for, just sort of happened.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  L606.
Post # 3
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

PortiaPie:  I have.  I think the most important thing is not worrying about the potential partner (outside of ensuring they are absolutely single, and ‘clean’), but really ensuring you are emotionally ready!  Meaning, you are prepared to not be emotional about casual sex.  I usually got emotionally invested, and it never ended well 🙁  Good luickk!!

Post # 4
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

PortiaPie:  my situation is actually pretty funny. I’m actually marrying and have a child with the one and only FWB relationship I ever had. Lol. 

 

We we met at work and I remember when I saw him I thought he was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. I started flirting with him NEVER in a million years did I think I would have a chance or we would be a thing. Well we kept talking and eventually exchanging numbers. Mind you, our flirting got very intense at work Discreetly but, it was always fun. I remember telling a friend that I worked with that I was making it a “mission” to sleep with him (sounds bad but it was so fun) so we kept flirting and we found that we had some of the same interests. I snuck out a few times to meet him. In the mean time I had ended up getting my own apt (I had moved in with my parents like 8 months before bc my ex and I broke up and had a bad relationship. 4 years of emotional and mental abuse) so he started coming over. We eventually did the dirty. Oh we did have a hard core make out sesh in the parking lot after work. We stayed there to probably 1 am. (We got off at 10) anyways he always told me he never wanted a relationship (neither did I at the time) or kids, or to get married (lol). So we still messed around never let it interfere at work. At this point he was basically just living with me. We ended up getting an apt together as “room mates” started dating in April of 2013 (at this point it had been like 2.5 years of “FWB”) found out I was pregnant in August of 2013. And here we are getting married in September of 2015. Our daughter came on January of this year

Post # 5
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yup,  as pps say,  if it’s really friends with benefits,  and not a person with feelings for a friend and hoping that fwb with turn into a real relationship,  then go for it. 

I did the latter,  and got plenty of heartbreak. (Although,  at the time,  I would have sworn that that was not what was going on)

As to what to look for,  an emotionally stable friend who is not physicality repulsive to you and is good at sex? 

 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by  SarahLulu.
Post # 7
Member
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

I have.

 

I went for someone that I thought was super sexy but knew I would never actually want to date for various reasons. It worked out great. I got what I needed in a responsible, mutually decided upon way. It ended because i was ready to date someone. Easy peasy lemon squeezy! at least for me it was.

Post # 8
Member
6021 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

You have to have clear boundaries which will vary with the friends involved. For example, I had a FWB situation many years ago and the ground rules included no spending the night, because I find it very intimate to sleep in the same bed with someone, have breakfast in the morning, etc etc– too easy to begin developing emotional ties with someone who doesn’t want them. Likewise, no dates. No meeting for drinks or going to dinner. No other situations or activities that could lead one person or the other to become emotionally attached.

Post # 9
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

PortiaPie:  Ya, DH and I were Friends with Benefits for 6+ months before we started actually dating and being exclusive was at least another 6 months… We’ve been together for nearly 10 years now & we love every minute of it! I will say that when we became FWB I kind of did want a real relationship with him, but knew that wasn’t really a possibility so I thought that was as good as it would get, and I was ok with that. But somewhere along the way it turned into something deeper and more fulfilling than we would ever imagine…  What to look for though- someone who is stable, someone who you have chemsitry with, but I think it’s more about yourself. Are you ready to *not* be emotionally attached to this person- what if they or you do become attached- what then? 

Post # 10
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’ve been in a FWB relationship because neither of us wanted an actual relationship.

We’ve been together for 7 years now and get married at the end of the month.

 

Post # 11
Member
339 posts
Helper bee

We both found each other attractive and convenient (lived down the hall from me).  He developed feelings for me, I developed feelings for him….so I ended it. Lol. Defeated the purpose of having a FWB.

Post # 12
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

FWB just happens, usually after drinking. 😉 Sometimes it’s a fun fling, sometimes you move into an actual relationship. Me, I’ll be marrying my FWB in 29 days 😀

Post # 13
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 1975

PortiaPie:  A FWB is exactly that. Sometimes they can turn into relationships down the road, but they don’t start off that way or with those intentions. Intentions are clear, you sleep with one another for no strings attached. They can be really fun, but you have to be ready for it.

I enjoyed my FWB, he was a cool guy to do things with, but definitely did not want a relationship at that time & did not see him as a potential life partner. My FWB had lasted a little over a year & and we had met out through some friends during a night of drinking. We have now gone our separate ways with no hard feelings, & are both engaged and marrying other people. 

Post # 14
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee

I worked with a guy I saw no future with but we got along great in bed… There was no obligation, he taught me alot and we had some great late night conversations and he actually gave me a lot of confidence back that I’d lost after a shitty relationship. Then things sort of slowed down (we were spending 3 night a week together) after 3-4 months. He mentioned he had been with someone toher than me one night, we hooked up one more time and the next time I called he had made her his GF… and now they’re getting married! And I couldn’t have been happier for him when it all happened.

Post # 15
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I thought about this a bit more…

if you want orgasms, go for a fwb

if you want companionship or affection, do not go for a fwb

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