Post # 1
We’re not getting married until October of 2012 but in the mean time we may help a friend out by renting him a room and being housemates. He’s my fiance’s best friend of many, many years and for a few brief periods (one month max each time) we actually have lived together. He stayed with us for a month when looking for jobs in our area. He’s an excellent roommate, cleans up after himself, has good taste, is quiet, and is polite, but I have had some people telling me this may be a bad idea.
We own our house. It’s a townhouse with three floors, 1500 square feet, 2.5 bathrooms and 2 berooms. We have two “living rooms”. One is up on the third floor, which is a 500 square foot loft that doubles as a gaming/movie area and an office. The other is next to the kitchen on the first floor. So basically… space is definitely not an issue. I lived with eight other people in 2200 square feet once and it didn’t bother me in the slightest.
Most of the info I find on this has to do with apartments. Since we’re not signing any sort of apartment lease, and this is only a temporary fix until he can find an apartment in the area (should be about a year, maybe two, which I don’t mind), it’s kind of hard to relate to the warnings and advice I’ve seen given on other forums.
So… any warnings/advice/inspirational stories would be great. Thanks 🙂
Post # 3
I can’t tell you whether or not you shoud do it. However, I once rented a room from a coworker and her husband.
I acutally moved in when she lived on her own but they bought a house together 11 months later and they offered me a room in their new place. I lived with them for almost two years and moved our right before they got married. I enjoyed it because I was able to save on rent (payed a flat rent fee every month) and I live a lowkey life. They had me sign a lease just to cover themselves and I didn’t mind.
Since you have experience with him living with you I say go for it. I’d draw up a lease just in case.
Post # 4
To be completely honest… my housemate from when I was single STILL lives in “OUR” home. When we bought our house it was when we were engaged and we didn’t want to live together… so she moved in with me… he moved his stuff in but hardly ever slept here…
Here we are 10 months post marriage and she’s still there. We honestly hardly ever see her and we don’t depend on her rent, we just put it in savings. We pretty much expect she’ll be here until we start a family… but who knows.
If you are comfortable, I say do it. But I must confess, I only DONT mind because she isn’t a part of our “life” in our house… I would want to draw specific boundaries….
Post # 5
My FI’s cousin lives with us and to tell you the truth, it creates tension between him and I at times because I really, really, want him out of here before we are married.
The mistake we made was not sitting down with him in the beginning and asking how long he thought he would be here and setting boundaries. There have been some problems along the way due to not doing this. My Fiance did not take my advice with setting boundaries/time limits from the get go,and now he is regretting it and seeing why I am so upset about this.
Otherwise, it can be fun to live with a friend /family member. However, boundaries.boundaries.boundaries!!!!
Post # 6
We’ve actually living with other people as a couple, though we always rented from them which was a bit different. We liked the idea of living in community, but it’s honestly been really hard not having much private space (besides our bedroom). We’re going to be getting our own place again at the end of this month and we’re so ready! (we’ve lived with people for a year and a half).
If you do it, I would set very clear boundaries. And I’d say only until you get married. It’s really good to have some space to yourself as newlyweds
Post # 7
I have been on both ends of this situation. I lived with a married couple in between graduating college and moving to a new state, about 3 months. Before I moved in, we determined how much I would pay for rent and how we would split utilities. I learned later that they were skeptical as they had rented a room before and it didn’t end well. But for our situation it was fine. We had fun, we stayed within the boundries we set, and it was great.
My fiance and I played host couple to a friend who was going thru a divorce last year. He moved in so quickly that we didn’t end up setting up any sort of decisions about what he would chip in as far as payments go. Toward the end of his year with us, we asked him to start paying some utilities. We shared food, cooked meals, hung out. In fact I miss having him here as my fiance works late 2 nights a week and I enjoyed having the company.
Final thoughts: If you have lived with him before, then you have a pretty good idea of what to expect. If you don’t have much in the way of reservations, I say go for it.