Post # 1
my FI and i are considering a civil ceremony before we have a convalidation performed, and i was wondering if anyone had done this and what it was like?
my way of background, i am currently in a job with phenomenal benefits, but it is only a one year term, with that year ending in august. FI and are set to marry in church next April. my FI has incredible health insurance right now (and permanently) with his job.
i am an accident prone mess (i.e. i dislocated my jaw while yawning last year) and so there will be a slight period of time (roughly 6 months) where i wouldnt be insured that we are trying to avoid. my employer has a way for me to keep my current insurance, but that would amount to about $500/month, which the logical part of me thinks is ridiculous if we could marry early and not pay anything (student loans have come do, and i really dont even think the $500 would be doable).
if we were to have the civil ceremony, i wouldnt want the rest of my guests to know (outside of our parents and siblings). has anyone successfully done this, and can you tell me about how it worked out? does the convalidation really look like the actual wedding, or is there an obvious difference?
thank you in advance for any light you can shed on this or any advice!
Post # 3
We are getting married in a Methodist church while my FH goes thru the annulment process. The difference is – This is our “official” wedding.
After that process is over, we are going to have a little get together in our yard after we have our vows read in the Catholic Church. Probably 12-18 months from now.
So my situation in slightly different because the Convalidation will be a small family only type ceremony.. the first wedding is the big one.
I know there are a few girls here though that have had a civil ceremony, and then the official church wedding, regardless of what denomination.. hopefully they can help you out!
Post # 4
I’ve done it. My (now ex…) husband was married previously and he had applied for an annulment for his first wedding. I decided I didnt want to wait anymore -and we got married in Walt disney world. A year later we convalidated the marriage. It was the same exact mass as a regular wedding.
Post # 5
You’ll need to talk to your priest. Technically Canon law probibits you from having a second marriage ceremony. Convalidations are a provision in Canon Law that allow couples who rebell against the Church to get their relationship in right standing with the Church. A priest who would allow a couple to manipulate the Catholic legal system to get married by the State first would in fact be doing some illicit and outside of his authority. If he cares about his vow of obedience to the Bishop and to the Church, than he will probably not be too happy with the sincero.
It sounds to me you have a solution for your insurance. I’d say you have a few choices. 1. Move your Church wedding date up and have it less formal and more private. Then have a belated reception in April if you have one at all. 2. Pay extra to continue your insurance and call your student loan place to get your loans back in deferment under the category of economic hardship. I had to do that once. It saves it from ruining your credit. The downfall is the building interest, but its only 6 more months. 3. Go without insurance for 6 months Take care of yourself. Avoid dangerous sports. Look into your auto insurance coverage for medical expenses due to accidents. I once had a car accident while I was uninsured. I was unemployed and on the way to a job interview. The entire thing petrified me, but in the end my car insurance paid and I was really economically ok. I got offered a job I had interviewed for the week before. I came into my first day of work with my arm in a sling, but everything worked out. God provides.
Post # 6
Have you looked into other interim insurance options? I found this health insurance information on New Jersey’s state website: http://www.state.nj.us/dobi/division_insurance/ihcseh/ihcrates.htm The standard plans are about the same as the $500/mo plan you’d get from your employer, but their “basic and essential” plans offer limited coverage and are about $150/mo. I know you said you were accident prone, but it might be an option for you.
Also, do you plan to be unemployed for those 6 months? You might also find a job that has insurance coverage and the point will be moot. I don’t mean to shoot down the idea of a convalidation, but I didn’t know if you were aware of those plans. Good luck!
Post # 7
thank you everyone for the responses! after some thought, i think that many of you are right – that it is probably best just to wait until the formal official catholic ceremony in april
logically, 6 months is not that long, and i really dont think i would be okay with losing the moment in the church – after thinking about it for a while, i think i would regret it
@chelseamorning: thank you so much for the link – thats exactly the type of insurance im looking for now, and $150 is much more doable than $500!