- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
Ok, sorry if this is long and I’m not even sure I have a point to this post. but we got some sad family news yesterday and I am waiting to hear more today, and weddingbee is providing me with a great distraction. So I thought I’d start a thread to explain why this random ‘polkadotgirl’ suddenly seems to have an opinion on everything and keeps writing long rambling posts.
the background to the story is that my FI and I are australian but have recently moved to SE Asia for his job. we’re getting married back in sydney and will be heading home for the wedding in just under 5 weeks.
yesterday my dad called to say that my uncle, who has been fighting a very aggressive cancer for the last few months, was hospitalised yesterday and the prognosis is not good. The doctor thinks he might hold on for a few weeks, but my uncle is apparently very resigned and said to his son that he doesn’t think he’ll last that long. For such a loud, jolly, enthusiastic person to be thinking like that, he must be in a lot of pain. It’s awful to think about and I was very upset when I heard. my FI, being the amazing person he is, immediately said ‘we can go home if you want’. Not ‘do you think you should go home’, not ‘will we have to go home’, not ‘we can go home for the funeral if we need to’, just ‘we can go home if you want’. Without hesitation. that means so much to me. I love him so much for that (sorry, emotional bride over here! I’m not usually that mushy!).
Then of course I started thinking about the wedding. We’re heading home in five weeks anyway, which I guess is a good think because if I need to go home any time before that, I can just change my ticket and go home earlier than planned. I work for myself so this is not a problem. if it’s a matter of being home for a few weeks though, my FI wouldn’t be able to come with me because he’s already taking leave from work for the wedding & honeymoon. and I’d hate to be away from him at a time like this cause he’s my support.
I hate having to think so practically about something like this, but what if he passes away close to the wedding? all of my family that’s coming to the wedding are also related to him & close to him. I only invited my closest family member’s from my mum’s side. will we even feel like celebrating everything? no matter what happens, I already know he won’t be at my wedding (he’s far too sick) and that alone breaks my heart. my family is so close and I can’t imagine him not being there. has ANYONE been in this situation?
and if it happens after, what then? i don’t even want to think about any of it (which is why I’ve been all over weddingbee today!). when my grandpa was sick, he had ‘a few weeks to live’ for almost two years! we celebrated his 70th birthday three times because we didn’t think he’d make it to his real birthday (he did), it became a running joke! we’d get the call that we all had to say goodbye, then by the time we got to the hospital he’d be sitting up and grinning at us. he kept teasing us about saying goodbye too many times! but this feels different. especially since my uncle has said himself that he’s near the end. the cancer – actually cancers, plural, are much more aggressive and they have worsened his condition much faster than grandpa’s ever did. I hate even typing this stuff out. but I think I needed to. anyway. as I said, I’m not even sure what the point of this post was. but I suddenly feel so superficial every time I think of the wedding, and whether this will change anything. thanks for reading (if you got this far).