(Closed) Has anyone had a Friend/family member perform your wedding as an officiant?

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@lindseyl06: I’d thought of it but after seeing several botched ceremonies by well meaning but not too great relatives as officiants on Four Weddings, we’re going professional.  However, I do think it can be sweet and personal.  Just make certain it’s someone who is comfortable with public speaking so they won’t be too nervous and also make sure it’s someone who is organized that can deliver a smooth ceremony 🙂

Post # 4
28 posts
  • Wedding: July 2012

My friend got married a couple of years ago and she had our mutual friend who introduced the happy couple marry them.  It was really sweet and meant a lot to our friend.  She got ordained online but I would also do your research with the county in which you are getting married in to ensure that all your “i’s” are dotted and “t’s” crossed.

Good luck!

Post # 6
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Our best man is also going to be the officiant at our wedding.  He has been my fiances best friend since they were 5.  He has always been envolved in theatre and is an excellant performer.  I think he is going to do a great job, and I’m very excited about it!


Post # 7
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@clairykoo: Our best man is the officiant too! He’s FI’s brother and he means so much to us. We chose him because knows us well (obviously) and we can tailor a ceremony to exactly what we want. No one we are close to is ordained, we want a secular ceremony, and we didn’t want to hire a stranger simply because he/she would be a professional.

We are willing to “risk” a few missteps or stumbles in order to have a personal ceremony with someone we are close to. I’m really excited about it. I know he’ll do a great job. 

Just make sure to check your state guidelines. I find that if you just call them, they will answer any questions you might have.

Good luck! 

Post # 8
78 posts
Worker bee

My sister had their best friend do the wedding.  He was great!  They live in MA and he had to fill out paper work with the state,  but didn’t need to be ‘ordained’ via an online process.  I highly suggest you also check out what your state says (and your local courthouse like you said you are going to do).  

To make it easier on everyone, have everything printed out.  Just like in grade school, double spaced, and everything.  Good luck!

Post # 9
380 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

My mom is preforming ours, so I don’t know how it’s gonna work out. She isn’t a pro or anything and I am writing the ceremony, we are actually getting her ordianed before our wedding.I just couldn’t find anyone else who clicked with us spiritually so I googled it and found out that it would be easier just to get her ordianed then to continue the search.

Post # 10
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We had Hubs’ really good officiate our wedding.

He did an AMAZING job and leads a youth group in a church so he was the perfect choice for us. It also helped balance out my desire for 3 bms and 3 gms… Hubs wanted this friend to be a part of the wedding also so it worked our great to ask him to officiate for us.

Post # 11
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Were having my grandfather be a stand in officiate for us but were self uniting which is legally the only way we can do this. In Pennsylvania you don’t need an officiant if you get a self uniting license! It’s called a Quaker wedding =) they are legal in 3 states but I forget the other 2 states lol.

Post # 12
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I think the rules might vary by state. 

we had a friend officiate ours, but he did not even need to be ordained — we actually took care of our official wedding docs previous to the wedding in a courthouse. so really, we could have used anybody to lead the ceremony. 

Post # 13
14344 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yup, we had my husbands aunt officate.  It went great.. except for the fact that everyone forgot to turn the mic on, but that was no fault of hers.  I think I blame the DJ who set it up, or my husband who knew the whole and didnt bother to reach out and flip the switch!  But we did get to see how she did since she did SIL’s weddding 3 months before ours.  We called SIL’s wedding the audition hahaha

Post # 14
1133 posts
Bumble bee

@lindseyl06: when the day comes we will be having my SO’s father marry us. He’s a minister, so it all works out! The trouble is finding a beautiful church that will allow outside people to come in and officiate. We’d use the family’s church but it would never fit everybody.

Post # 15
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

My cousin was ordained to marry us through Universal Life Church for free. In her words, “any schmuck with an email address can get ordained”. The process is pretty simple but you do have to check with your county to see of its legal. The NY state marriage law isn’t really clear so I had to make like 10 phone calls before finally talking to someone who could confirm its legitimacy.

Having my cousin marry us was one of the my favorite parts of our wedding. She got choked up in a few parts but it just added to the whole feel. There’s really nothing like getting married by someone who knows and loves you. You can’t fake that emotion. A rented JOP is just there to read from a script and get paid, being married by a friend or family member is really special.

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