Has anyone just stopped caring when the big day gets closer?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

This title made me laugh! I got to that point about a week ago (My wedding is in 12 weeks) when final wedding details of major things coincided with final exams at school and i just sort of shut down. I started caring again but definitely went through that. What hasn’t helped are my future in-laws being super difficult about everything. I think, let yourself feel what you’re feeling now and don’t let it mess you up that you don’t feel the way you think you’re expected to feel. Probably when the day comes, the excitement will come back but you’re probably just numb to it because it’s been an extended amount of time. Just make sure you have a fabulous time on your wedding day!

Post # 3
Member
2132 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m the same way, and honestly I think it is healthy.  When you are so far out, you have all the time to plan every detail and change your mind when things don’t work out.  It is more fun and games and not so realistic.  Now that I’m under 3 months away, it seems super realistic, and I’m more apted to let things go, find wedding planning a pain and wish someone would just do it for me (I’m also a little worn out of all the wedding planning having been planning a year already).  I know in the end something won’t go as planned because that is life, and I think a more go with the flow attitude will ultimately help me deal with it as no big deal and still have a blast.  

Post # 4
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I got to that point a few months ago, but now that we’ve started back planning, I’m slowly getting excited again. But when people asked me about our wedding a few months ago, I was just meh about it all.

Post # 5
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Make no mind, I absolutely care about how beautiful everything will be,  I am a very visual and creative person so I need to be surrounded in beauty. The difference is as I get closer to the event I have started to relieze just how important the ceremony portion is and how much the day is important celebration of the love between my fi and I. This I jave come to relieze is the most important part of a wedding not the dress or the flowers.

Post # 6
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

emilythehutt:  I’m 5 weeks out and everyone keeps asking if I’m excited… and I almost always say Yes, I’m excited for it to be over! Living together 6 years, 18 month engagement, and this last month has been hell planning and work/school wise. SO yes, super excited to almost be done!

Post # 7
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I was in and out of phases like that- I’d go from thinking constantly about every detail to being like whatever, just do it..  Now that I’m married, and less than a month past the wedding, I can say that now I care even less about all those details.  Now when I see boards of bees freaking out, overanalyzing every tiny decision, I want to shake them and be like omg girl, it’s just a day, it goes by so fast you don’t even SEE all your choices, let alone care!  My wedding day was beautiful, perfect to me, I regret nothing, but seriously, it’s just not that big of a deal. 

Post # 8
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

I’m at that point now, lol.

Post # 9
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

16 days to go.  I’ve been on auto-pilot since February after our invitations went out.  I’m so ready for the day to just be here already.  I’m excited to be married and to celebrate with our friends and family… but as for planning, I’m over it!

Post # 10
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

emilythehutt:  haha in the same boat! Dating 7 years, living together for 5, engaged for 19 months.

I did get like that too.  I really was like “Im done with wedding stuff” especially because in March (wedding is in June) all our vendors started to contact us to reconfirm choices and finalize stuff. My bridal shower was also the first week of April so there were a lot of things I felt I had to do for that. I felt we were tied down doing wedding stuff during all of our free time for the past 2 months. None of the stuff we did was absoluetly necessary to be done so quickly, but for some reason we felt pressured into get it done( * cough my mom *). So at the moment I feel a little burnt out but even after taking a 2 week break from it all, I feel the list of “to-dos” is calling my name once again. 

I just try to find the fun & easy things to do. Picking music out for the DJ is daunting for me, so I’ll probably procrastinate on that for a while 🙂 at the end of the day I doubt anyone will think twice about the nitty gritty details. So I do try to remind myself of that. If you can try to get a friend or family member to help out. 

Post # 11
Member
4828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

emilythehutt:  When I got married the first time I had the big, white wedding. And I gotta say, I was sick to heck of all the planning and was ready for it to be over. Still a really fun day, though!!

Post # 12
Hostess
9919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

emilythehutt:  you could be me.  Except we’ve now been together for 9.5 years, lived together 7.5 and moved halfway across the country together.  Our wedding is in 3 weeks and right now I’m really ‘whatever’ about it.  I’ve been stressed a few times, I’ve had a few bumps in the planning, but really it’s been pretty straightforward.

Post # 13
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

emilythehutt:I was the same by the time the big day came. We had been together for 4.5/5 year and had been engaged for well over three of them. My advice to you is to continue to try and plan. I’m a pretty laid back person, and I was very casual with all the details of my wedding; I let BM pick their dresses (just had to be navy blue), my now husband had his GM just wear black suits. I gave a rough outline to my aunt on what I wanted the cake to look like. Basically just made all the centerpieces and other decorations. It was honestly a pretty big trainwreck. My now SIL looked terrible in her dress, our bestman had a grey suit on and lost his boutonniere the night before and just tried to make another instead of telling me. Other than my SIL I had no clue what my other BM were wearing and I didn’t care. <br /><br />I know it’s hard to continue to plan – I get that you’ve just checked out and want to be married but, at least in my case, it’s the little details that I remember. I agree with others that say to focus on the fun things and many friend and family will be more than willing to help. Just take some steps back and ask for help. <br /><br />And give a list of pictures you want to the photographers – even if it’s just like “I want pictures with Grandma and Uncle Al and everyone else in the family.” I didn’t get pictures with half my guests because it was the photographers first wedding.

Post # 14
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

emilythehutt:  Practically identical! We’ve been together just over 5 years, lived together for nearly 4, own a home together, etc.<br />We had the big ticket items: venue and catering booked a year out then we just procrastinate and as it got to a couple weeks before the wedding, I just stopped caring about the details.

And now that it’s nearly 2 weeks later, I can tell you that you don’t notice most of the details and the whole time is just a mad blur of emotions (when you’re exchanging vows), nerves (when you make your speeches or perform your first dance) and chaos when you’re going from guest to guest trying to have a word with everyone and lots of and lots of flashes so you can’t even see properly 🙂

<br />I didn’t even get to look in the mirror even once between stepping out of the wedding car and getting to the hotel that night. I had no idea the wind wreaked havoc on my hair or that my veil was askew. BUT, everyone was telling me that I look beautiful anyway ^_^

Post # 15
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee

emilythehutt:  I agree with most people on this!  I hit that point a couple months ago.  I had all these big plans (and expensive I might add) and now I’m just like let’s do the cheapest route on certain things and call it good, I do not want to be all crazy about it.  We live together already, have a house, have vacationing property together so really what else is there about being married that we don’t have? Just the license, so why should I be all crazy?

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