Weddingbee boards

i would check to make sure it isnt a mistake. we kind of had this happen...we were both on the invite for his cousins wedding, but only he got invited to the rehearsal dinner. it was a 4 hour drive, so we assumed i would be invited (and it was a huge event anyway). had his parents check, sure enough, i was accidentally left off the invite by the grooms parents.

if it isn't a mistake--totally rude. he's in the wedding, and its far away. i think its totally not right to not let him bring a date. it's not like youre the flavor of the week or something.

Wow that's messed up.  In my book, if someone has a steady SO (and FI's count), then the SO should also be invited as a matter of courtesy, regardless of whether the couple knows them both.

Don't give the couple too much grief over it though.  I'm just thinking of all the posts we've seen here about guests trying to invite someone they didn't have room for, etc.  There's probably some legitimate reason that they couldn't invite you... hopefully they don't secretly hate you or something!  But who knows.

If you and your FI aren't happy with him going alone, then just have him decline the invitation and leave it at that.  Better not to make a fuss about it.

This happened to me a few years ago and the situation still bothers me a little. MY FI was invited to a close college friend's wedding and I was not. At the time we had been dating about 6-7 months, but were definately serious about each other.

Now 2.5 years later we are good friends with this couple and they will both be at our wedding. I honestly think the bride does not remember that I was not invited to her wedding because she will talk about it like I was there!

I'm going to sort of go against the grain here - I think a lot of couples have to make tough decisions about who they can/can't invite to their wedding, especially if its small/intimate or they are on a budget. They are not "obligated" to invite you, nor is your fiance "obligated" to accept the invitation if he is uncomfortable going without you.

My FI was best man in a wedding recently that I was not invited to. Did that suck for me? Yes. Did I complain and make a big deal? No. The couple was having a destination wedding with a very strict cap on how many they could invite. I wish I could have gone, but they probably would have had to uninvite an aunt or uncle or closer friend to include me, which I did not expect from them. They had a right to have the intimate wedding they'd always dreamed of. Now, they talked to my FI about this and explained their situation, which I think was considerate of them, and in your case, the couple probably should have done. It probably wouldn't hurt to have your FI talk to them and find out if you are supposed to be invited.

?!

Yeah, let me clarify my comment - I think its definitely worth looking into this considering they gave no explanation. It very well could be a mistake. And because its a social norm to invite engaged couples as a unit, the polite thing to do on their part would be to provide some kind of explanation as to why you didn't get an invite, if it turns out you really aren't invited.

All I was trying to say in my earlier comment is that you don't know right now why you didn't get an invitation, so try not to assume the worst of them. I'm really glad, in the end, that I took the high road and didn't make a big fuss about not being invited to the wedding my FI was a best man in. They only invited about 30 people to the wedding, as that was the limit in their tiny venue. The wedding was four months ago and they STILL have family members and friends that won't speak to them because of not being invited. It does suck for people who wanted to be a part of it, but they also had the right to have the small, intimate wedding they always dreamed of. All this said - this totally might not be the same situation that your friends are dealing with, but its worth it to find out whats going on before getting too upset.