- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
We have one joint account and our own separate accounts.
So far, we only use the joint account for the mortgage, but maybe one day we will shift more things to that.
We are completely separate.
To tackle feeling like you pay more....we take 30% of our takehome (monthly) and set it aside for the house. What if you did something like that? He makes more, so his percent is higher, but it keeps is proportionate! He pays the mortgage (and has some leftover) and I pay everything else (and have money leftover). We let each other know every so often what's sitting there, while saving for the wedding we sometimes "take" from that to add to wedding savings.
We both still have student debt as well, but no real interest in combining accounts -and I don't see the need, what we roll with works and we're both good with money.
When we go to dinner, we both "fight"/offer to pay and usually figure out that he gets this, I'll get nexttime, etc.
We just set up a joint account... which only use as of yet is to put the money in from the wedding. We plan on putting money into the joint account to pay our mutual bills (cable, rent, electric, groceries, etc)... but its been a struggle to determine how much money per paycheck should go in there, etc. We both have separate ING savings accounts... but we might merge those into one. We will still keep our own separate checking accounts for our personal bills and spending money. Its been a slow transition...
We're completely separate. I have about 30k in student loans and want to pay some of that off before we combine accounts.
We actually combined everything before we even got engaged. It works out great for us. It would have been a complete necessity at this point anyway, since I am full-time in school and my husband is the sole breadwinner. Money is a hard thing, sit down and have a big conversation before you decide!
we are completely separate but we also dont have any debt including our home is mortgage free
if we had a mortgage/debt i think we would combine income so we could tackle it together and that would include maybe combining the debt depending on what the debts were (ie credit card or school loans)
we have both a joint account and separate accounts. we put half our monthly paychecks into the joint. rent/morgage, groceries, eating out together etc all come out of the joint account, unless its a special thing - like him taking me out for my birthday etc. he has significant CC debt and makes his payments out of his own account. everything else - lunch while at work, personal toiletries, clothing gets paid from our individual accounts.
it has really helped me mentally to be less snippy. yes he eats more than i do and there are a lot of things i don't eat, but this way its fair so i can buy things that only i eat or brands/organics that he'd never buy. its helps me feel like things are more equitable even though i technically have more disposable income than he does. for my own health and sanity and the health of our relationship, i needed to get away from the idea of tallying and tracking who spent what when in my head to try and make things "fair" when we were separate. it has helped immensely.
We combined some money shortly after getting engaged that we use for joint expense (groceries, house, utilities, etc.) and also maintain separate accounts for our personal spending. Having a joint account has been easier for us than splitting the bills each month, but I'm sure it's different for everyone. Money is always kind of tricky, but I think joint accounts can be nice if they mean you think about your joint goals like saving for a big vacation or a down payment for a house or something else.
We don't have combined bank accounts, and have no plans to get one.
What an interesting post... we are still going back and forth about what we want to do. Right now we don't have a mortgage and combining to one account seems so complicated... Reading this post makes me feel a lot better- it looks like there are a lot of other options out there! Thanks bees!
If you guys are married, then shouldnt your debt be his and his yours too? Have you guys looked at the combined debt together? Are your rates the same? Maybe there's a way to pay off your (combined) debt faster as a unit workign together, than treating it separately completely separately. The way I see it, you're a unit now, there shouldnt be this division since "your debt" hurts him too and vice versa.
We haven't combined any accounts yet, but neither of us have CC debt, just a mortgage. We don't really 'split' payments on anything either, we have separated accounts, but we view it as one bucket and just move money around to where we need it (since mortgage comes out of my acct).
We have had a joint account for about 2 years now, but are now combining everything. We use this website to track everything.
Maybe you can create one account together for household expenses which each of you contributes aset amount of money that you both decide is fair. Then keep your seperate accounts for your personal purchases.
I disagree wit the "what's mine is yours" mentality with regards to the debt! I think if that mentality works for you great, but if his is more and he makes more, then proportionately speaking he can hack his off and the same rate I can hack mine off (less, and I make less) than what's the difference if we combine it or not? Both lending rates are less than 3%. Neither of our debts are hurting one another...? Why would we combine?
We are also trying to figure this out- it's a pain in the butt! We did open one joint account so we could put all of our wedding money in it. Now we are trying to figure out how much each of us needs to put in for joint bills. Otherwise we are keeping separate personal spending accounts and personal savings accounts. We will have a joint savings to save up for a house. It's complicated and annoying, so we're trying to make it as painless as possible.
We don't have combined accounts and don't plan to do so. We have a joint account for the "house" bills (mortgage, HOA fees, cable, power, gas, etc.), then we each have our checking and savings accounts. we each also pay our own student loans, car payments, etc. from our own accounts.
If you feel you are contributing more to groceries, why not save receipts and compare them at the end of the week or month, or work up a menu/budget and split it in half and try that.
Ours is all in one. It was actually more confusing when we had seperate accounts. As far as our debt issues, it was never about "his debt" or "your debt" it was our debt that when you work togethor to pay off faster can benefit you more in the long run. There is no issue as to if he wants something or I want something, we have a set limit that if it is over this amount it needs discussed. He makes a little more than me but it was not always the case.
I'd just combine the joint expenses onto one account and keep separate accounts. Upi could pay the household expenses out of that account. You could combine the debt if you owe equal amounts or something close, but I could never allow DH to help me pay off my debt or vice versa if we had different amounts. We have 4 accounts: joint savings, joint checking, and we each have a personal account. It works out really nicely for us.
@pinkshoes:
I totally agree with you, and that is how we looked at it too. Any debt was now *ours* to take care of, since we are one unit and will tackle it together. After we got married, we combined accounts and he paid off my small amount of CC debt (he makes more) and then when I got an unexpected inheritance shortly after, we wiped out his student debt. If he was the kinda guy who wouldnt let me buy something I wanted (within reason) because it was in "our" account vs. "mine", then I would not have married him. But I realize every relationship works differently!
That being said, I think maybe it really depends on what you grew up with/saw your parents doing? Both of our parents have joint bank accounts and have since they got married. They've always made it work as a team and never seemed resentful if one person was contributing more, or one person spent more on personal stuff one month. There's no "keeping tabs" in their marriage, so that's just what we're both used to seeing, and therefore modeling after. I think it also makes things a lot easier to only have one account if one person decides to become a SAHM/SAHD for a while.
@ejs4y8: totally out of curiousity, what is the purpose of a separate bank account if savings and checking are joint? Do you contribute to RRSP's (i'm not sure what they're called in the US?) separately? Does that mean you draw on them separately when you retire, even though you're married? Is it so that you have your own spending money, and if so, couldn't you just allocate $X amount a month to each person from the joint? I've only ever witnessed joint accounts for married couples, so I'm really just curious what separate accounts can accomplish that a joint account couldnt. I'm truly not trying to be rude/judgemental, just trying to understand something I don't know much about!
We will either have 1 joint account and then keep our accounts separate like they are or just not worry about a joint account. We currently live together anyways, I pay all the bills out of my account but he gives me so much money out of each of his paychecks to cover bills and groceries.. It works fine for us. Plus I make more money & I also love to shop so I like having my money to spend.. He also doesn't balance his account, doesn't keep receipts, and doesn't even have a check book so there is no way I'd put my entire paycheck in to one account for us to share because of that.
@noopnoop: In the US, everyone has to have their own seperate retirement account, so couples can't contribute together. They are called IRAs or 401ks here.
My husband and I have joint everything except for our retirements accounts, which are seperate by law. We have a certain amount of 'fun money' to spend every month without having to ask about it.
ugh...we havn't done it yet either! Mostly b/c every Sat we say "we need to go to the bank to combine our accounts" but it never becomes important enough to do.
Its a little annoying b/c I write my husband a check every month to cover my portion of the mortgage & bills.
He pays all his own bills (i.e. car, phone, insurance, etc.) and I pay my own.
All of this really isn't that big of a deal, but it is really annoying when we go out and still play the game of "who's turn is it to get this?" b/c we are married & its all our money.
@MissAsB: thanks for the clarification! So if one person were to pass unexpectedly, would the other half get access to their IRA's?
We have ours set up exactly the same as you, fun money and all! But I am admittedly bad at saving, and my hubby is great with money, so I was happy to let him take the reins on that so long as I get kept in the loop :D
We joined about two months after the engagement!! FI LOVES the idea because he hasn't had to deal with any of it in months (and won't have to)! Lol. He has a hobby car and I'm an avid concert attendee! We haven't been stashing for our hobbies because of wedding expenses, but after the wedding we'll stash $15-$20 a week for each of our hobbies.
The main reason we combined is because of something OP said. We'd go out to dinner and it'd be like "who gets this one?" We felt that if we couldn't trust one another with our monies, then we shouldn't be getting married. (Not saying if you DONT combine everything you don't trust, but that's our personal take!)
@noopnoop: Yes, the money in the accounts passes to the spouse. There are some complications with the tax law about how and when you can withdraw the money, but you can take it out right away in some cases or roll it into your own account so you can withdraw it when you retire.
I'm more involved with the money than my husband is since I understand all the tax stuff but he is the one leading the charge on paying off our debt right now!
We don't have joint accounts and probably never will. He pays his bills, I pay mine. He will give me money every month for bills. I thought it was strange before we got married, but it doesn't matter now. He was married before and she left him with a lot of her debt, so I think he just wants to be on the safe side, and I don't blame him!! Usually when we go out to eat or to a movie he pays for everything, mainly because he makes a lot more money than I do.
My fiance and I actually joined bank accounts in May... We figured since money is one thing married couples fight about the most, we'd try it out. Its been fine with us, we never really fight about it at all, so by the time we get married we'll have have joint accounts for about a year. I think at some point I will want one account that is separate just in case I wanna like, surprise him with something haha. Either, way it isn't as scary as it sounds. Good luck.
Also, since my fiance is getting his PhD he has a lot of student loans whereas I have none yet. After we get married I will start a two year college in some nursing degree and once I get a 'real' job, I will start to pay my own debt, and then start on his. I honestly believe its healthier that way (at least for us) especially if you are going to have kids together, that is a big joint spending time and to take stress off maybe you should try the joint account a while before you start to have kids? Just to make sure it isn't a problem? Good luck, again.
@noopnoop, we have separate bank accounts for separate expenses, that's all. We get a certain amount each month deposited as an 'allowance' and we can choose to do with it what we want. We have separate retirement accounts, though--DH contributes to a Roth IRA and some investments and I have a separate 401K here through work plus a trust. I have my personal account broken down into a savings and a checking because I am saving for a car that has nothing to do with any of our joint expenses, plus my business expenses come out of my account.
Oh boy! DH and I have a joint savings (new house down payment only) and a joint checking (he puts money from every paycheck to cover groceries, etc). Then, I have a personal checking (mortgage, utilities, all of my bills and spending $) and personal savings (a nice little fund that I leave for emergency). He has a personal checking to cover his bills.
It's a little annoying to deal with each account but they all have a purpose. He is currently paying off some CC debt so I tend to cover most of the bills while he works on getting his things paid off. I make enough that I can cover those bills and also contribute to our new house fund. The way it is now, all the home bills are set up to deduct automatically from my account (i owned the home before we were together). But as soon as we buy a new place, we'll probably deduct those from the joint checking and contribute differently. To each their own!
@ringpup, I agree if the rates are the same and it doesnt matter each way, then it may make sense to keep it separate and face the debt on your own. I made the suggestion in the case that maybe one persons card has a higher rate than the others, and it would be worth considering tackling the total debt as a unit, at the end of the day, both people are affected by each others debt/savings/credit score, etc..
We each have our personal and then we have our joint. MY FI never really liked using his personal so most of the time he just puts everything in the joint. I on the other hand like having my own spending money and put a little less than half of my paycheck depending on what it is every week into my personal.
Every month we transfer $160 plus some if we have money left that we don't need into our personal savings since we are trying to save up for a down payment on a house.
Considering we live with my mom and she doesn't let us pay anything including food, we only use our joint for personal stuff like dates. Recently we bought a camera and a desk that he needed for his computer. That is basically how we do it.
When we moved in together, we combined our credit cards (we mainly use just one of them), mortgage/condo fees + my cellphone bill came out of my account, and DH paid off the credit card and utilities out of his account. All our day-to-day expenses are generally on the credit card (we love our points!) so even though we didn't have a joint account, there was mutual visibility. Of course, you had to say "don't look in online banking!" prior to birthdays to ensure the surprise.
We didn't change this when we got married, but a bit after our wedding DH switched jobs and he didn't have to bank with a particular bank anymore, so we now have joint chequing/savings accounts/credit line on top of credit cards/mortgage we already had (and separate investment/retirement accounts). No real difference in terms of visibility really, just easier.
Our reason for joint accounts is ease of budgeting / moving money for the most part. Whether or not we have a joint account, I believe DH's money and debts are mine and vice versa, and I am quite comfortable he spends in line with our budget.
We just joined ours up recently after almost a year and a half of marriage. We're lazy more than anything. We also just joined up our phone plan too. I plan on moving the utilities to his checking account, so most of the bills are on his account. I plan to use my checking account for savings, groceries, and fun stuff. It's nice to finally see our incomes and how much combined savings we have.
We do not have combined bank accounts and probably won't anytime in the foreseable future. We both have successful careers, but our ways of spending money are a little different. When we moved in together, he had credit car debt & a car payment... I was debt free. Before we got married, he bought our house. I don't pay anything towards our mortgate because technically it's not my house. I do, however, cover any maintainence costs, improvements, etc. that we do to the house. He covers the recurring bills, and I pay for all the things we want or need (New clothes, groceries, going out, vacations, etc.). It's not a perfect system (is there any?) but it's what works for us.
separate for now. In the future we might make a joint account to put some mutual money, such as all the money we got from the wedding and money we're saving for a baby. However, as far as incomes, we're keeping them separate. I make a lot more money than him.
So far I support us almost entirely because my DH had a surgery and has yet to return to work. So waiting for him to go back before he contributes a little.
we have been living together for 5 yrs and married for 6 months and we still have seperate bank accounts LOL
we plan on getting them together just never got around to it.. i think we pretty much pay the same in bills.. i get paid once a month so i pay all the big bills
i pay rent, insurance, car and usually fill up twice
he pays all other bills when we go out to eat, and our extra spending money.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| fivemonthsnotice | 17 |
| ticatica | 14 |
| Mrs. Chai | 12 |
| LammChop | 12 |
| Lyndzo | 12 |
| BellaDee | 12 |
| MrsOliveBird | 11 |
| aussiebee | 11 |
| pinkandsparkly | 10 |
| countrygirl62312 | 8 |
Sorry, there are no users yet.
Hi all,
We have been married about 4 months now, together 6 years, and living together almost 3 of those years. We have not combined bank accounts and its starting to get annoying when we go out to dinner with other couples etc is when I notice it. Also, I feel like I contribute more $ to the relationship in terms of groceries and household items. We both split rent and bills. However, we both have credit card debt that we are working hard on paying off. I also have student loan debt. I think we both want to pay off some of our debt before combining. Does anyone else have completely separate accounts?