Post # 1
We have been married about 4 months now, together 6 years, and living together almost 3 of those years. We have not combined bank accounts and its starting to get annoying when we go out to dinner with other couples etc is when I notice it. Also, I feel like I contribute more $ to the relationship in terms of groceries and household items. We both split rent and bills. However, we both have credit card debt that we are working hard on paying off. I also have student loan debt. I think we both want to pay off some of our debt before combining. Does anyone else have completely separate accounts?
Post # 3
We have one joint account and our own separate accounts.
So far, we only use the joint account for the mortgage, but maybe one day we will shift more things to that.
Post # 4
We are completely separate.
To tackle feeling like you pay more….we take 30% of our takehome (monthly) and set it aside for the house. What if you did something like that? He makes more, so his percent is higher, but it keeps is proportionate! He pays the mortgage (and has some leftover) and I pay everything else (and have money leftover). We let each other know every so often what’s sitting there, while saving for the wedding we sometimes “take” from that to add to wedding savings.
We both still have student debt as well, but no real interest in combining accounts -and I don’t see the need, what we roll with works and we’re both good with money.
When we go to dinner, we both “fight”/offer to pay and usually figure out that he gets this, I’ll get nexttime, etc.
Post # 5
We just set up a joint account… which only use as of yet is to put the money in from the wedding. We plan on putting money into the joint account to pay our mutual bills (cable, rent, electric, groceries, etc)… but its been a struggle to determine how much money per paycheck should go in there, etc. We both have separate ING savings accounts… but we might merge those into one. We will still keep our own separate checking accounts for our personal bills and spending money. Its been a slow transition…
Post # 6
We’re completely separate. I have about 30k in student loans and want to pay some of that off before we combine accounts.
Post # 7
We actually combined everything before we even got engaged. It works out great for us. It would have been a complete necessity at this point anyway, since I am full-time in school and my husband is the sole breadwinner. Money is a hard thing, sit down and have a big conversation before you decide!
Post # 8
we are completely separate but we also dont have any debt including our home is mortgage free
if we had a mortgage/debt i think we would combine income so we could tackle it together and that would include maybe combining the debt depending on what the debts were (ie credit card or school loans)
Post # 9
we have both a joint account and separate accounts. we put half our monthly paychecks into the joint. rent/morgage, groceries, eating out together etc all come out of the joint account, unless its a special thing – like him taking me out for my birthday etc. he has significant CC debt and makes his payments out of his own account. everything else – lunch while at work, personal toiletries, clothing gets paid from our individual accounts.
it has really helped me mentally to be less snippy. yes he eats more than i do and there are a lot of things i don’t eat, but this way its fair so i can buy things that only i eat or brands/organics that he’d never buy. its helps me feel like things are more equitable even though i technically have more disposable income than he does. for my own health and sanity and the health of our relationship, i needed to get away from the idea of tallying and tracking who spent what when in my head to try and make things “fair” when we were separate. it has helped immensely.
Post # 10
We combined some money shortly after getting engaged that we use for joint expense (groceries, house, utilities, etc.) and also maintain separate accounts for our personal spending. Having a joint account has been easier for us than splitting the bills each month, but I’m sure it’s different for everyone. Money is always kind of tricky, but I think joint accounts can be nice if they mean you think about your joint goals like saving for a big vacation or a down payment for a house or something else.
Post # 11
We don’t have combined bank accounts, and have no plans to get one.
Post # 12
What an interesting post… we are still going back and forth about what we want to do. Right now we don’t have a mortgage and combining to one account seems so complicated… Reading this post makes me feel a lot better- it looks like there are a lot of other options out there! Thanks bees!
Post # 13
If you guys are married, then shouldnt your debt be his and his yours too? Have you guys looked at the combined debt together? Are your rates the same? Maybe there’s a way to pay off your (combined) debt faster as a unit workign together, than treating it separately completely separately. The way I see it, you’re a unit now, there shouldnt be this division since “your debt” hurts him too and vice versa.
We haven’t combined any accounts yet, but neither of us have CC debt, just a mortgage. We don’t really ‘split’ payments on anything either, we have separated accounts, but we view it as one bucket and just move money around to where we need it (since mortgage comes out of my acct).
Post # 14
We have had a joint account for about 2 years now, but are now combining everything. We use this website to track everything.
Maybe you can create one account together for household expenses which each of you contributes aset amount of money that you both decide is fair. Then keep your seperate accounts for your personal purchases.
Post # 15
I disagree wit the “what’s mine is yours” mentality with regards to the debt! I think if that mentality works for you great, but if his is more and he makes more, then proportionately speaking he can hack his off and the same rate I can hack mine off (less, and I make less) than what’s the difference if we combine it or not? Both lending rates are less than 3%. Neither of our debts are hurting one another…? Why would we combine?
Post # 16
We are also trying to figure this out- it’s a pain in the butt! We did open one joint account so we could put all of our wedding money in it. Now we are trying to figure out how much each of us needs to put in for joint bills. Otherwise we are keeping separate personal spending accounts and personal savings accounts. We will have a joint savings to save up for a house. It’s complicated and annoying, so we’re trying to make it as painless as possible.