Post # 1
You know planning the wedding has been fun – I have for the most part enjoyed the planning process with a few hiccups here and there but now that the invites are out good gracious it has gotten crazy. Maybe it is just me but other than maybe a question to the bride about what the dress code is I would not think of inviting other guests, arguing with the dress code, complaining about the date or location etc
Today one of my BFF mentioned that she is bringing her 3 year old to the wedding. I was like ummm we were not expecting that. (AKA he is NOT invited) I do not think 3 year olds really enjoy weddings. We do have 1 8 year old who is my Fiance niece and our flower girl and a handful of teenagers but no little ones.
She seemed mad that I was surprised. I finally asked if he could sit in her lap which she said yes but now think she is madder – ugh Venues have limits and ours is at the venue limit
I finally have my family and Fiance family calm for the moment and now friend drama
So please tell me for those of you who have planned weddings without making anyone in your friends and family mad at you – HOW DID YOU DO IT????!!!!
Post # 3
I do not think it is possible really, but just breathe and let it roll off your back. You do not give a F**K. That is my attitude anyway.
Post # 3
I think it is pretty much impossible, because I have been plenty mad during the planning process, not to mention other people involved.
Post # 4
When I read the title of the thread I heard in my head “INCONCEIVABLE!” in the voice of Wallace Shawn from The Princess Bride…
Seriously, you may never know that someone was mad or sad or hurt or confused, but someone out there IS. Usually it is pretty minor. Hopefully they have the good grace to realize it’s not a personal sleight and get over it on their own, but I don’t think it’s possible to not hurt/offend/anger at least one guest/vendor/family member/friend/random-acquantice-who-feels-entitled-to-an-invite-and-a-plus-one-despite-them-not-knowing-your-FIs-name.
Post # 5
It’s not possible. No matter what you do someone is going to get upset.
Post # 6
I don’t know of anyone who was angry about my wedding choices. I like it that way. I wasn’t going to change them, so I would’ve felt badly.
Post # 7
I don’t think we made anyone mad but even if we did, we never knew about it. Actually, everyone was very understanding and accomidating. We had some strict rules (like NO kids with the exception of Bridal Party and OOT) and not a single person complained or tried to go against our wishes. It helped that we had a small guest list (85 invited) so we didn’t have as many opinions to deal with. Many of our friends and family have either recently married or have attended a plethora of weddings so they know how it is.
ETA: Actually, we did make one person mad. DH’s grandmother took it as a “personal insult” that we didn’t seat her granddaughters at the same table as her. Her granddaughters (DH’s cousins) were seated at the “kids table” which was directly next to where angry granny was told to park it. To be honest, I laughted my ass off when I found out how pissed off she was. If I had to do it all over again (re: my seating chart), I wouldn’t change a thing.
Post # 8
@bearlove: I love your response – we just watched The Princess Bride for like the 1000 time last night
Post # 9
I thought I would be able to get away with not hurting anyone’s feelings, but you would be suprised how many feelings everyone has! It’s like each individual has a jumble of feelings about your wedding and you have to move around those feelings like you’re playing the game, “Operation”.
Post # 10
I just posted a rant along these same lines. I don’t think it is possible to plan a wedding without offending anyone, unless you have endless amounts of money or unlimited space at a venue. I hate the feeling of upsetting people, but at least my Fiance is the firm one. But I still feel sick to my stomach about the thought of making someone angry with me.
Post # 11
I agree with everyone else – it’s not possible.
At this point makes me not want to plan a wedding anymore with the amount of crap I’m dealing from others.
Post # 12
I can honestly say, unless you have unlimited money, someone is going to get upset no matter what you do, just never good enough.
Thank god we don’t have any bridal party drama yet, and I don’t foresee one. So far just conflicts with family but it’s mostly sorted out now. But more problems probably will come along once the out of country guests arrive. You know how some picky relatives are, especially those with HIGH expectations.
I will try to accommodate as much as I could, within my power. But given so much limits of headcounts, money…etc…something is not going to be perfect. Fiance is more firm on the planning. We are pretty reasonable on accommodation so we can’t invite some guests, we really can’t. So if family not happy about the arragenemtn, they are welcome not to come. (my Fiance even said it to his parents ><)
I will say wedding planning is never easy but you will hope people will get over it eventually, preferrably prior to the wedding date. 🙂
Post # 14
I am going with No.
And this is how I am beginging to feel about everyone’s opinion, except for Fiance and possibly the bees ( WARNING BAD LANGUAGE AHEAD!)
Post # 15
@lamkky: Even if you DID have unlimited money, there would probably be someone out there mad about the WAY the money was spent.. and there is always plain old interpersonal nonsense!