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i wont know what to tell you because when i was pregnant i got strange people touching my belly...
That would bother me too. Maybe just keep your posture kind of defensive, and if someone asks politely say, "I'm sorry, I'm not feeling up to it today."
Thank goodness no one has! I think it's because I'm so tall that I'm naturally a bit intimidating... or that my baby bump isn't exactly super adorable? ;) I find it odd enough when people engage in random pregnancy coversations w/me out at a store, but if they reached out for my tummy I'd just be totally weirded out.
It's awful! But now I just reach out and rub their belly right back... Always stops them in their tracks :)
My sister and I were just talking about this. She's pregnant and I've noticed quite a few people have rubbed her belly lately without even asking, mainly family, but STILL. I felt so bad for her. She's so sweet and nice and didn't even flinch when they did it, while I was boiling inside and wanted to tell them that they were invading her personal space!I brought it up at dinner that I felt so bad for her when "so and so" touched her belly at the store and "so and so" touched her belly at the post office and she said, "They did? I didn't even notice" I would totally notice and it would definitely bother me. I'd SO wear that shirt :)
I didn't mind when my family did it.. too much. I'm a personal space kind of girl but it was just one of the pregnancy honor badges that we all have to earn.. lol.
However, NOT cool when it's a stranger. I only had one stranger touch my belly and I was awe struck. I didn't say anything (she was an aquantance of dh and I didn't want to be rude) but I was super annoyed! Like Lemon I'm a tall girl and I was pretty crabby when preggo so maybe everyone was just scared of me... lol.
I've heard a lot of people do the "touch back" technique like DG suggested. Great idea! Unfortuneately, it's not going to prevent future stranger touches. The shirt is super cute though.
The only people I really have no problem with are my husband and older ladies, and the older lady was a friend of my mom's and she did it before I could do anything about it.
I do have a problem with people just grabbing me though, like my father did. He literally did this while we were walking out of a restaurant and that was not okay. He was the only person who did this too; everyone else has at least asked or just didn't attempt to at all. My own mom hasn't even touched, because I asked her not to.
I really only get the occasional question about when I'm due or what the gender is, but that's the extent of it.
lol @ Mrs. DG! I love that shirt! I want it when I get pregnant! lol.
I got really mad once, because when my step mom was pregant with my brother some girl walked up and started shaking her belly and yelling, "wake the baby!" I was like, "dude, wtf? leave my step mom and brother alone!"
ETA: I should probably say I was 18 when my step mom was preggo so I don't sound like a potty mouth kid! lol.
The first woman I did that too looked really startled when I did that. She couldn't really be mad because she had just done the same thing to me. Now she doesn't touch but every time she sees me she offers me her belly. I liked the reaction and kept doing it to others!
Oh wow! I have never even thought about touching a pregnant woman's belly, not even my own sisters! What a weird invasion of privacy.. I would only do it if I was gay and my wife was pregnant or if my sister was my surrogate or something. Otherwise, not my baby = not okay to touch the belly!
not entirely the same but my fsil and her husband mention that strangers often ask to hold their baby! They are always like um, no and aparently people get really pissy about it. Why do people think they can get away with this crap? I would never touch someone's belly stranger or friend or ask to hold their child if I didn't know them.
I once saw a t-shirt that said something like "If you didn't put it there, don't touch it" with an arrow pointing to the belly. I giggled. So true! I gotta try DG's suggestion. I had a coworker do it and I just...didn't know what to do or say. It was crazy. I can't imagine a stranger asking to HOLD my baby, either. What are people thinking??
Yeah, older women especially tend to get excited and go for the touch. Each time it happened, though, I was so taken aback that I just stood there. Mrs. DG--I *wish* I had the wherewithall to do that!
What was far worse, though, was people touching the BABIES. And I'm talking 4-5 pound twins, fresh out of the NICU for poor lungs, in the dead of winter. And the only time I took them out was for appointments, so people were more likely sick than the average person. That drove me NUTS! That, and people who let their little children touch the babies, and make me be the bad guy and tell their children not to touch.
ugh yes this can get very annoying....lol I love Mrs. DG's advice....also beware anyone and everyone will try and touch your newborn with their dirty hands....I used to say pls don't touch and my cousin actually had a sign on the baby carrier that she ordered somewhere that said pls don't touch I thought it was one approach to getting strangers to stop touching....good luck!!
I had a little girl come up to us after DD's 2 moz dr appt and run her hand right down her face (over her eye, nose and pacifier). The worst part was that the little girl had snot runnig down her face.. I was not a happy camper! In her defense the mom was not aware her daughter was doing it; she had just turned around for a second and the little girl didn't know any better.
Here is an item a friend suggested...
or there are these
http://www.zazzle.com/please_dont_touch_my_hands_i_put_them_in_my_mo_tshirt-235864244795677530
This is so weird, last night I actually had a dream that I did this to a pregnant stranger, when I would NEVER do it in real life!! I think that if anyone ever touches my belly while I'm pregnant, I'll slap them out of reflex. I love Mrs. DG's response.
The "Hands off my Baby" signs seem a little much to me, though...I think parents can be a little too worried about germs these days and the signs seem to announce "I'm so anal about keeping my baby GERM-FREE that I want the world to know!". You don't want your child to have NO resistance to anything. Not wanting some random person to handle or pick up your baby because you don't know them is one thing, as is not wanting someone with a cold to touch baby. But not wanting Aunt Marge to hold your baby because she hasn't washed her hands in the past hour is another.
This happens to me a lot and I am a person that loves my personal space. In the beginning when I looked more fat then preggie, people (including family) would try to rub the belly and I would back off leaving them look so confused (their faces were priceless). Usually my Mom would get her hand on it and I would tell her she is rubbing my fat and not the baby. Now that I look preggie, I am a little more comfy with my Mom touching my belly but still prefer if others don't unless I allow it. In fact, yesterday I had my 6 yr old niece touch my belly to show her that her baby cousin was in there. There has only been one rogue touching but I didn't see it coming, definitely a no-no.
When it came to other preggie women I did not touch their belly unless they told me to but even so I usually decline. Like when my SIL was 8 months she told my FI (at the time) and I to touch the belly because the baby was moving a lot, I didn't touch. It was kind of cool to watch FI touch and feel his nephew since that was the first preggie woman he was ever around. He was so amazed.
No one ever really touched my sister's belly. She intimitated them into keeping away i think! :) I've always felt uncormfortable touching people's bellies even when invited to do so (my sister, my co-worker), and the idea of joust touching a complete stranger's belly is outrageous and Rude! But then again, I had perfect strangers stop me in stores to talk about my nephew when I used to babysit all the time and he was a new born (very few people believed me when I said he was my nephew, not my son!). I was offended at that. If someone were to try to touch my belly if I were pregnant, I'd probably flip. Hands off folks! love the shirt, btw! :)
@RoddyBride- This just happened to me this past weekend. I had three people (friends/family) rub my stomach and it made me very uncomfortable. I am only 12 weeks so it's not the baby they are touching, it's just my fat!
I always touch pregnant ladies' tummy's I can't help it. Sometimes when the baby kicks pregnant lady's will let me feel their tummy. I don't think it's rude I think it's cute, but I've never been pregnant so I wouldn't really know.
The worst offenders, right now, are my co-workers. Usually when I see someone reaching for me, though, I put my own hands on my belly. Then, there's no room for anyone else's hands, and they back off. :) In fact, only two unwanted people have touched my stomach since I got pregnant! I also had a talk with my family when I very first started showing. We're a pretty touchy-feely family, but having my parents'/sisters' hands on my belly makes me uncomfortable. I'd rather they put their arm around my shoulders or something.
My boss told me the other day that she can't wait until the baby moves out of breech so she can feel him/her kick. Uhhhhhhh, that made me pretty uncomfortable, too. I really feel like my baby kicking should be something only my husband and I get to experience.
I would never touch a pregnant lady's tummy because you don't know if it is something they are ok with. If someone offered I might, but probably only if they were related.
My FMIL is psycho and her partner's daughter was preg with twins and at her shower, FMIL was ALL OVER grabbing her belly. I felt skeeved just watching! You could tell she was NOT at all comfortable with her mother's partner grabbing at her. I will be telling FMIL the second we are preggo and announce it that my tummy is a HANDS FREE ZONE. UGH i hate that woman.
Oh wow I would never touch a stranger! Totally personal space invasion for me, although I understand they're doing it in a good-natured way, especially sweet little old ladies! "personal space" is becoming more of a common thing nowadays...I know i have a smaller bubble than any of my older relatives!
I didn't touch my friend's belly until she grabbed my hand and was like, "feel my belly!!!" and for a photo op at her baby shower. But i think you expect your friends to touch you at a baby shower. I gave her and her baby a pat before I said goodbye for the weekend. But she was ALL about it! The idea of a stranger just touching me freeeeaks me out. But I think it's no fun if you're obviously pregnant and just sit in the corner at your own shower and go "don't touch me!" Cuz it's a baby shower! But I'm ok with my parents or DH's parents or sister, but not really a bunch of extended family. I just don't like to be touched and they can call me a bitch but they'll get the F over it or I'll touch them right back.
In fact, I had a friend's sister come up to me at a bachelorette party, grab my BOOB and be all, "omigosh these are AWESOME! Are they real?!??!" and I just stood there and was like, "yeeeah...." hahaha. Way awkward. You just don't touch people you don't know.
WOW ejs, I can only imagine your face. Belly touching is one thing but boobie touching is "redunkulous" (as my brother would say). Did you grab her's in return to see if she liked it, lol... Sheesh!
Oh it was weird. But i wasn't gonna make a scene. We were on a boat at my friend's bachelorette party and I didn't want to make the whole day awkward for everybody so I just played it off like "yep they're awesome!" and finished my beer, haha. I don't even let DH grab me crudely like that.
DH's family is very hands-on touchy touchy with babies. It will not be that way with us. In fact, his aunt was complaining about one of those baby "don't touch me" signs on a holder. She said "if you don't want your baby touched, don't bring them out" and i was like "uhhhhhh". She's intense.
When I was pregnant and if someone tried to touch my stomach I instinctly backed up. Draw the line quickly is all I can say, if someone does it once and you don't put them in check about it -others will do it too. That advice goes more for family members or close friends.
As for strangers- I had a couple try and again I backed up and gave them the hands off glare...being pregnant is pretty uncomfortable and so is having someone touch your belly. I can't control the uncomfortable pregnant feeling, but I can control being petted.
You can get away with being cranky when you are pregnant....take advantage of it and just tell the strangers BACK OFF!
I had a few strangers touch my belly when I was big momma pregnant and it bothered me - like in the grocery store and such - WEIRD!!!
I instinctively started keeping my hands on my belly when people were talking to me and it kept them from doing that. It seemed to work.
Ohmygosh. I'm not even pregnant, nor do I plan to be in the next 5 or so years, but I will have a STRICT do not touch the belly policy. It would freak me out having my belly touched by anyone but Mr. R. I'd even have my immediate family ask me first, so if a stranger touched me I would FLIP. MY. SHIT.
Um yeah, I would completely flip out if some stranger tried to touch my belly. It would NOT be pretty!
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Beekeeper
Now that my baby bump is becoming a baby roadblock, I've noticed more people reaching out to touch it. Has anyone else had this happen? What's the nice way to ask people not to touch your belly? I'm considering buying a t-shirt, but I can't wear it all the time, what do I do?
http://www.cafepress.com/Momentos.433061340#