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I had a dress made to take elements from 2 dresses. I have to say it came out wrong. The top was about 15 times bigger than it should have been. The dress is BEAUTIFUL but just not what I was looking for. I prob could have had the dress itself fixed but the beading was done in the wrong color and I couldnt find anyone to tackle that job.
Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that! The seamstress that made your dress-how did you find them? Any suggestions for avoiding problems like what happened with your own dress?
I hope you found something beautiful that worked for you after that.
Have you read Mrs Oyster's posts about custom designing her own dress? She drew up her own sketches and found a seamstress to make the dress. Twice, I believe.
ETA: Considering you want a period piece, have you look into customers? Like, think theatre company seamstresses/costume shops (yes, a lot of them can do custom work, or will know someone who can). They'll have experience with the kind of detailing you want.
I put a request on etsy. Yes I did find a new dress!
I would say to avoid the problems I had is to find someone who doesnt have a lot of family issues going on (she had A LOT) and if you found someone locally they would be able to fit you while its being made. and also to ask to see all the materials before they get put on. I requested gold beading and gold silver, im sure if she didnt have so many things going on she might have remembered. Also my first sketch she forgot I didnt want a train after telling her about 5000 times. I guess that should have been a sign for me.
daydreamwander: Nope, I haven't seen Ms. Oyster's posts, but I'm about to go check them out! I'm such a bad weddingbee-er because I barely ever read blogs. 
There are just so many bees...and...and...well, I don't have a good excuse. I enjoy reading the blogs that I do read, I just don't do it enough.
And I did mention in my post that I've been looking for costume designers, which was actually done on gabrielleelise1981's suggestion! I haven't actually been able to find any independent costume designers outside of people who run businesses that specialize in period reproduction pieces (and most of the best ones seem to be in England, boo), and I wouldn't exactly know how to go about contacting theater companies and asking who does their costumes, because I'd really like to see if they do private commissioned work? I don't know. I haven't yet figured out who I'll have make my dress, I am definitely still looking! I want it to turn out as best it possibly can.
I did! There's a dressmaker who has a business in a rural city close to me - they specialise in making custom gowns for people. I REALLY wanted a 50's style tea length prom dress type dress and in our area I couldn't find ANYTHING in the bridal shops (we're a bit behind the times in the bridal scene in my area) so if I wanted my pretty I was gonna have to have her made. I collected HEAPS of pictures and played around with a few different ideas til I finalised what I wanted.
Once I'd decided I went into the shop, showed her what kind of skirt, neckline, bust, detail, waist etc I wanted and she sketched it up right there and then! I loved the sketch and just tweaked a few things - made the waist shorter and the sweetheart neckline a bit deeper and now, approx. 9 months later my pretty is nearly finished, and is actually better than I imagined! I have loved having my dress made, its made for me, my body and I can tweak things along with way. The best thing about having your dress made is you can have what you want from the get go and you're not trying to change an existing dress to make it how you want it. Its a great option if you're not going to find something in the stores.
@veganglam: Costume desginers have their own union, so maybe you can find that website and contact them? I don't know if seamstresses are included, but they probably will be able to help you...
Seeing as how your last dress you wanted was 10K+ and i get the impression cost isn't an issue, what about one of the costume designers that does work for Broadway plays? Aren't you moving to NYC? Surely somebody in that loop would be able to steer you towards someone REALLY good!!!
I love the bee--you guys are so helpful and full of great ideas! Ambelina13, I noticed a union affiliation marked on one seamstress' website, so I was wondering about that. Definitely something to look into, thanks! And ejs4y8--yeah, my parents are being super-generous with the dress because they know how much it means to me. And yes, I am moving to the city. I think that finding a Broadway costume designer is a fabulous idea, but I have no idea how to find them?! I don't think I could just email the theatre and ask for the contact of the costume designers, but maybe? I wish I had some contacts in that field, but alas, I do not. I'll have to look around; it's definitely something I'll keep in mind!
And @Miss Sparklespaniel: I am sooo happy to hear a success story about a custom dress. Your sounds gorgeous! I've always been a vintage fanatic so I am really looking forward to seeing your pics! My own senior prom dress was a tea length prom dress from 1957. :D Do you have any pics of the dressmaking process, or any of her sketches?
A friend of mine is making me this dress from a vintage 50s pattern: 
It'll cost WAY less than if I went out and bought something similar. :) We're tweaking the back so it comes up higher and kind of swoops down in the front.
@Statutory Grape: Oh, pretty! Is this going to be your wedding dress? And will it be in that fabulous forest green color, or something else?
I do have pics! Nothing from the start of the process - these pictures were from a few months ago - she now has a MUCH fuller skirt cos the petticoat has gone in and the flowers on the top have been sewn on - so the pins you may be able to see are gone! LOL - bear in mind she needs a good press! Also please forgive lame smiley face - internet paranoia runs a bit deep for me! LOL
At the start of the process it wasn't really worth taking photos cos she'd just fit a mock up of the bodice for example, and it wasn't very exciting, but then it starts to look how you imagined it and THEN it's SUPER exciting!
I have to say that this process wasn't particularly cheap, I could have gotten something online (Dolly Couture or whatever) but I didn't feel comfortable buying online without seeing it in person/ trying it on, and being in Australia lots of companies don't ship here!
However, I think some of the cost is due to the fact that the store specialises in making wedding gowns for people, and they're quite well established and well known in the area. My sister is having her bridesmaids dress made by another local dressmaker who works for a big Melbourne bridal designer and it probably would have been cheaper to get her to do it - but at the time I wasn't aware of her.
Also, another tip (to avoid disappointment), is to either go and try on something with a similar shape/sihouette to your dress, or go with something that ties in with your everyday style. I frequently go for the full skirt, cinched waist look in my everyday wear so I knew that look was going to suit me and look good on me.
I'll have to try and get ahold of the sketch once its done and I can post it for you!
PS sorry about the length of this post and the size of the pics!
I was just wondering what happened to the Pnina?
One of our groomsmen is a costume designer and that's his favorite period... he's in OBX, NC but I know he doesn't have time for a wedding gown right now. He made his wife's... Can you maybe check for smaller production companies? i.e. is there any Shakespeare theater groups with long running productions or something. Perhaps not a "community" theater but a long running program?
@veganglam: All/most of the broadway costumers are in the union as far as I understand. I worked with someone who had a friend that was doing costume design, and I remembered that it was easier to get a job once she joined...
Yeah, contacting the union is your best bet. Broadway is union-affiliated and all of their costumers should be union members.
Since you want something designed and not copied, going local is probably a good bet so you can have frequent consultations. If they don't do it automatically, it is probably worth it to have a muslin version made first (called a toile) so you know it is going to be exactly what you want.
There is also a dress designer out of Birmingham AL and Atlanta GA named Heidi Elnora who will do custom designs. She was on Project Runway. If cost is not a huge object, it might be worth it to contact her.
@Miss Sparklespaniel: I'm happy you posted all that! I loved to read it and see your pictures. Your dress is suer-cute and looks like it fits you so well! Those little rosettes covering the bodice are great. I would love to see the sketches!
And thanks everyone for the union advice. I found out that the union in NYC is Wardrobe Local 764, so this will help in my search! I definitely knew from the get-go that I wanted someone local who I could work with personally, could see for fittings, and could discuss the fabrics she or he was thinking of using before constructing anything.
And for KLP and anyone else wondering about the Pnina Tornai dress that I talked about in so many messages for the past eight months...yeah, I was in love with that dress big time for a long time. But the more I started looking at it, the plainer it looked, and the more problems I began to see with it. It didn't have sleeves, couldn't easily accommodate the sorts of sleeves I like, I didn't like the amount of beading at the top and didn't think there was an easy fix for that, I began to feel like I really, really wanted satin, and the dress was taffeta, and I just wanted something more visually interesting. I'm nuts, I'l tell you. I thought for sure I was going to buy that dress in August, but then I let myself admit that I didn't want to. I mean, I don't know if I'll ever have the opportunity to have a $12k dress, so I should love the heck out of it if it's costing that much, right? And it looks like I'll be able to get a lot more (a LOT more) for the same amount of money or even less by going with an independent costume designer who isn't a big name on one of the most popular reality shows on TV. So yay!
Okay, so I just figured out how to email pics from my phone so I can upload the latest pictures of my dress. The skirt is much fuller because the petticoat is in. Little things make a difference - and if you're going to go custom I'd recommend that you do it with someone local so you can regularly get updates and see what's going on. 
Love it with the extra fluff, Miss Sparklespaniel! That really transforms it.
Saw this today and thought of you :)
http://www.romanticthreads.com/fawego.html
Not sure if it's what you were thinking when you said you wanted to look like a victorian queen, but if the costume makers union doesn't work out, it might be a back up option.
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So I've spent the past eight months trying on a seemingly endless parade of dresses. And they're all starting to look the same. I'm a total clothing history nerd, and swoon big time every time I lay eyes on something by the House of Worth, especially circa the 1890's, so it soon became apparent to me that nothing was getting anywhere near what I really, really wanted--to feel like some Victorian-era queen on my wedding day. I am totally not a costume/RenFaire sort of person (meaning no offense to any who are, I'm just not), so it never occurred to me to actually consult with a costume designer for my dress until someone here on weddingbee suggested it. So I've spent the past two days searching the web for costume designers who seem competent in things like making corsets, doing beadwork, and handling rich silks. I think I have finally found some that might work, but I am so nervous about how it will turn out! It's kind of scary not being able to see a sample of roughly what your end product will be like before you get your own dress! Eek!
So I'm just wondering if anyone has gone the totally custom route. I don't mean using a picture of an already existent designer dress and having somebody make a copy for you. I mean making something that's totally your design, or is a composite of two or more designs with some tweaks, or something. If so, are you happy with the results, or the progress thus far? Any pictures? Care to share the details of the process for you, and why you decided to go custom in the first place? Type me a book if you want, I'd love to hear all about it.