Has Pinterest Killed Romance?

posted 2 years ago in Technology
Post # 2
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

FutureMrsHodgy:  I like that article because Pinterest does take a lot of the imagination out of planning a unique wedding because obviously someone has already done that idea, however I don’t think it’s killed romance in MY relationship.  I do think it could in certain relationships like the author’s if she’s continuously on Pinterest planning her dream wedding rather than their dream wedding.  I liked how she realized her problem and realized that in the grand scheme of things, a wedding is only one day and spending every day on Pinterest isn’t helping your relationship for that one day that won’t likely match up to your Pinterest board.

I personally use Pinterest for ideas, yes for my future wedding, but I don’t spend every waking minute on it like the author does.  I have a wedding board but I’m also in the wedding business so a lot of the pins are also ideas for different kinds of weddings and ideas, not mine.

When that times comes, I’ll definitely be asking my SO about his ideas as well because I secretly think (no joke) he’s more excited about planning his day than I am!

Post # 3
Member
3361 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

FutureMrsHodgy:  Affect. I would never in a million years have joined the bee or started a wedding pinterest board before I was engaged. But obviously, a ton of women do. I do think that social media has changed our expectations of proposals, rings, pictures, weddings, honeymoons, etc. Seeing other people who have extravagent weddings and crazy proposals and giant diamonds, can certainly make someone feel disappointed with what they have. It has kind of led to these posts about proposals not being romantic enough, rings not big enough, wedding wasn’t special enough. Social media is full of people bragging about all aspects of their lives and there have been studies showing that that makes people less happy about theirs. 

Post # 4
Member
9525 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Maybe for other people. I didn’t even have a Pinterest account until after I got engaged, though I did find it helpful in wedding planning. But then, I was never the little girl that dreamed about my wedding. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be married. I didn’t start thinking about a wedding until after we were engaged. Worked out well for us.

Post # 5
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

I barely plan my wedding on Pinterest now. I don’t think it’s killed romance, whatever that means, but I think it’s made things seem a lot more over done than they are. I can’t click on weddings on Pinterest without seeing a million mason jars and burlap, but I’ve only been to two weddings (out of a lot) that used that “theme” and it feels over done.

Normally it’d just be like “Oh, so-and-so did something similar at her wedding too” but now you feel like you’ve seen it a million times when you haven’t.

Also I think it ruins expectations. You see perfect photos, where the centerpieces look so perfect because they practically match the wallpaper/color scheme of the venue! Then you try it at your venue and it doesn’t look as good or put together.

All of this is even tiring to think about which is why I’m not doing any of it lol.

White dress, vows, dinner, done. Let the restaurant take care of food, drinks, and decor.

Post # 6
Member
4560 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’ll admit that I created a wedding board before I was engaged, and created it a few years before I was even engaged. It was mainly just ideas, and when the time came to plan, I went through it and decided on what I really wanted to do, but also kept my FI (now DH) in the loop to get his thoughts… as I would have never done anything without asking.

There were some ideas that I loved that he didn’t, so they were scrapped. And that was fine. I can say that it did make some decision easy, since I already had the ideas – they just needed to be implemented.

I don’t think Pinterest has ruined weddings. People can easily search online for ideas and save them as bookmarks. Pinterest makes it easy to keep all of those bookmarks in the same place witha photo and description, so you don’t have to try and remember what each bookmark was about. I love that about the site!

This also goes along the lines of romantic ideas, since you can search for anything and it probably as a PIN linked to it. I have a board that is all about love, which also includes articles about marriage, dating your SO/spouse, etc. It’s only a resource.

Post # 7
Member
5215 posts
Bee Keeper

About the article: the author unhealthily obsessed with Pinterest. That is not OK, and really, a little childish. Pinterest, for whatever reason, is a huge dividing factor (in the wedding world especially).

I do find that Pinterest anger is misplaced. You see it a lot on here, brides complaining that Pinterest ruined this or that, that they are “over” a certain trend because Pinterest has saturated it and mindless brides follow Pinterest boards in throngs, without having a shred of creativity themselves.

I find that people who feel that way, have “special snowflake syndrome”. Meaning, they think their ideas and opinions are mind blowing, pinnacle of creativity and original thought, Earth shattering discoveries. I just have to roll my eyes at the, ” I’m soooo over Pinterest and my wedding will be so much more unique than your Pinterest board!” people. Of course your wedding will be unique, two people are getting married! Those two people don’t exist anywhere else! The congregation of people there to witness it are also unique! Pinterest won’t make your wedding unique or boring.

Then there are the people who go into a deep depression because their wedding didn’t align with what their carefully designed, crafted and perfectly placed Pinterest board looks like. Those people we will just call “delusional, out of touch with reality” brides. Anyone who cannot separate real life from Style Me Pretty and seriously gets upset that their pretty princess day was ruined because an iPad got into a shot is seriously, again– delusional. 

 

But Pinterest isn’t to blame. I think in the tech world they call it “user error”. 

Post # 8
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

FutureMrsHodgy:  My MIL is the one who set up the Pinterest board for my wedding. I think I looked at it twice? 

I feel really bad for the couples who are affected by it. It’s horrible to think that people would be disappointed in their proposal or wedding because it didn’t live up to the Pinterest model. These life events should be personalized, for you as a couple. It’s not “wrong” if your proposal or wedding didn’t involve this or that you saw on Pinterest. There’s no standard to follow.

Post # 9
Member
5696 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think Pintrest has killed reality, not romance. Facebook, TMZ, and a hundred different other things killed reality too.  5 or 10 years ago, it would be insane to try to throw a 5-day bachelorette party in a foreign country, most people didn’t care about uplighting, people were satisfied with fewer than 8 flavors of cake, no one hired a photographer for the proposal, and no one felt the need to photoshop dinosaurs chasing their wedding parties. But now, those things are all considered perfectly okay if not downright trendy.  People seem to forget that they are not all celebrities on unlimited budgets, and they waste a ton of money and energy trying to outdo the ridiculous weddings they see on the Internet. Pintrest is probably the worst offender just by its nature— it’s nothing but a collection of stuff other people have done, and no one is pinning anything “normal” anywhere— but we’ve all gotten so used to seeing all this over-the-top ridiculousness that we think we have to do it too, and that is kind of sad.

Post # 10
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This is stupid.

Women have been women since time began.

You remember things called PAPER?  My SIL kept a scrapbook from the time she was 14 with her wedding ideas, as did all of her friends.  They’d browse bridal magazines well into college and paste and talk and fuss.  Way before any of her or her friends met their spouse.

And remember Hope Chests?  Yes, the woman was making articles for her life after the wedding, but from the time she could sew her first stiches (sometimes at 4 or 5!!!!) she was focused on preparing for her wedding.  Now, if anything kills romance, that does.

Post # 11
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Pinterest is no more responsible for ruining proposals, engagements or weddings than wedding magazines. Women planning their “dream wedding” before theyre even engaged is not a new phenomenon. It’s just that now the world is able to see it online instead of in a box under her bed. 

I think pinterest is great… and a lot cheaper than buying 20 different wedding/bride magazines and clipping out pictures and articles. 

People just need to get a grip on life and think realistically 

Post # 12
Member
5206 posts
Bee Keeper

Horseradish:  ” we’ve all gotten so used to seeing all this over-the-top ridiculousness that we think we have to do it too, and that is kind of sad.”<br /> 

This exactly! I think that social media has taken something that is supposed to be so individual and personal and somehow created a ridiculous standard for it.<br /><br />

Post # 13
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I love Pinterest, and I had one wedding board before we were engaged, and several when we were engaged and actively planning the wedding (floral design; hair and makeup; bachelorette; etc). We did a ton of DIY, and Pinterest helped keep us organized. 

In high school, way before Pinterest, I had an accordion file with pages torn out of wedding magazines for inspiration. I’ve always been interested. I also did not live in a world of delusion, thinking that if my wedding was not Pinterest perfect, my marriage would be any less valid. 

Post # 14
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

FutureMrsHodgy:  What a great question!  I think Pinterest made it easier and more accessible to obsess about anything and everything- specifically weddings/engagements- but women have always been “pinning” things to a notebook from magazines.  

But, I think it’s also warped our sense of the norm- in magazines, everything is highly stylized and staged.  When you’re on sites like howheasked.com and you see real couples and real proposals…it makes it more tangible (at least to me) to have the huge proposal with a mob dance and a stage.  If that’s you and you have the funds, go for it!  But for me at least, as uncltredpearl: stated, “People just need to get a grip on life and think realistically.” 

For example, we have a Diamonds Direct near me where they “cut out the middleman to give you competitive pricing”.  One of their commercials stated “we will have you walking out of the store with $500 left in your budget to use towards that special proposal”…. WHAT?  I couldn’t imagine Mr. M spending that type of money on that…but I guess it’s about priorities. 

Now, with that said, I think Pinterest is a wonderful tool for someone like me who has OCD and loves to research the crap out of everything.  I already had my ring planned out since I was a kid so pinning 100+ solitaire rings is just for my viewing pleasure while I wait.  I have gotten some great ideas for the reception, but it’s not a dire request to have it be a replica. 

I didn’t answer the questions…I hate surprises, so the SO knew from the beginning it wouldn’t be the romatic fairy tale and Pinterest didn’t play any part of that; and it hasn’t play a part in our relationship besides him being annoyed that I keep showing Mr. M all of my pins. Haha!

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  jar111415.
Post # 15
Member
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t think it’s killed romance, but I think it’s created an unhealthy and unrealisitc outlook for what weddings should be in that people get too caught up in details and seem to forget what the day is really about.

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