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HELP ME DECIDE!!

Has planning your wedding changed you?

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
  •  
    1.
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    poli2b    October 11, 2009   Aliso Viejo

    After having to deal with family woes and difficult people in regards to planning my wedding, I realize that the process has made me more assertive. Some people (my mother in particular) might not like this new found firmness. I'm usually very accomodating and non-confrontational. But I think it's important to be able to be firm when the situation calls for it. Although it's a very fine line...people can quickly confuse assertive with bitchy :0

    Have you changed? For better or for worse?

     
    2.
    Member
    2,406 posts
    Buzzing bee
    vintage2010    April 10, 2010  

    After planning my brother's wedding... yes I did plan majority of it along with shower/bach party.  All the drama over that wedding made me hate weddings!  So much so that I asked my FI if we could just go to Hawaii and get married just the two of us.  He refused so I started planning our wedding. 

    I've also gotten a carefree attitude towards what showers/parties are thrown for me.  I've told my BMs do whatever you want. At your house or resturant, expensive or cheap I don't care as long as all of us are happy! LOL

    It has been really nice because I haven't been stressed out and neither has anyone in the family!  We were all so stressed the last go around and there were lots of tears etc with the drama.  I don't want anyone to cry over my wedding unless it is tears of joy!

     
    3.
    3,234 posts
    Sugar bee
    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    I've realized how much I've put other people's needs before my own in the past - much to my own detriment - and I am reveling in my newfound ability to tell people it's my way or the highway :)

    J/K (sort of).

     
    4.
    Member
    558 posts
    Busy bee
    NixLapi    October 24, 2009   Toronto

    I'm the total opposite - I've never had a problem speaking my mind, so in planning I've learned to let things go and not sweat the small stuff... much as I *really* want to!

     
    5.
    Member
    3,006 posts
    Sugar bee
    littlemissmoo    July 18, 2010   London, UK

    I'm usually super anal about stuff (comes with the job!) so wedding planning has definitely zen'd me out and, like NixLapi, made me realize not to sweat the small stuff as much and that things will sort themselves out with only a gentle push and not a massive shove. 

     
    6.
    Member
    6,816 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    I've actually always been a very assertive person and became a lot softer and family oriented since I started planning. I asked my two sisters to be my MOH's which was probably a shock to my oldest sister who I've never been super close with. But since I asked we've gotten a lot closer and it's so nice. I asked my brother to do a reading and since we didn't grow up together and live in different states we don't even know each other that well, but he accepted and it's also made us closer. I've definitely let a lot of stuff go and realized the 'big picture' when it comes to family when planning the wedding.

     
    7.
    Member
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    TheEditrix    10/17/2009   Bethesda, MD

    I think if anything I've learned more about myself through this process. I have learned to speak up more, but I've also found out that weddings can bring out the crazy in people (as in, relatives and friends). I've dealt with jealousy, unreasonable demands, far-out requests and all sorts of other "issues" from people that I would've never dreamed had it in them. People pin a lot of weird expectations onto weddings.

    That said, I've also discovered I have friends who really care about me a lot, and my mom and I have become closer. And I'm pretty laid-back overall, so I've found my tendency to just roll with the punches has been very helpful in this process.

     
    8.
    Member
    5,018 posts
    Bee Keeper
    RecessionistaBride    January 28, 2012  

    I've become a lot more boring.

    I used to talk about politics & world events... now I use all my free time planning my wedding! I hear about current events days after they've happened! I love wedding planning, but I can't wait to get back to normal & have more to talk about than wedding related stuff.

    It's not just me, its all anyone wants to talk about when they see me!! Gah!

     
    9.
    Member
    1,205 posts
    Bumble bee
    mdarrah    4/4/09   Los Angeles, CA

    I think I grew up some. I started with a "screw tradition we are doing this our way!" attitude and over time I realized how some tradtions aren't about us, they are for our parents or friends, and some of the things I auto railed against, were really sweet and actually very fitting for us.  I also became much better about not procrastinating... though since the wedding that seems to have fallen by the way side.. :)

     
    10.
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    poli2b    October 11, 2009   Aliso Viejo

    @ RecessionistaBride- that's interesting. Most people have the opposite problem - people are tired are hearing about your wedding. I get it though. People keep asking me how I feel (with only a couple of days left).

     

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