Post # 1
OK my wedding planning time ended up doubling since we had to move the date not once but twice so instead of 9 months we ended up being engaged 18 months. So with the date changes etc I have had to communicate with my vendors from time to time. Now i am not a bride that calls daily, weekly or even monthly. I only communicate if I have a specific question or concern. I work mostly through email and chatted with my vendors about if that was ok and they all agreed it was what we preferred.
So I notice that if I send a polite professional request it usually gets ignored.
I will send a second request also polite as a reminder usually a week later depending on the urgency of the request but NEVER sooner than 3 days later and only then if some other decision is waiting on the response
On the third time (again using the 3 days for important or 1 week later for need to know but not earth shattering) I usually have to get a small bit umm sharp in email and then all of a sudden I have responsive lovely vendors again.
I hate getting stressed and honestly how long does it take to say I am busy today but will get back to you in a week etc? And I know I am not the only one – I have seen lots of brides state that until they are truly obviously outwardly getting upset they do not get results.
So wondering if the industry is creating SOME of the bridezilla moments or what?
Thoughts? I do not mean that there are not real spoiled diva bridezillas out there – totally unreasonable and unrealistic but have they made so that normal requests are seen as unimportant because we are calm and rational?
Post # 5
I’ve noticed that I bend over backwards to be honey-dripping sweet to them all because I’m worried they’ll think that I’M a bridezilla, but I’m not sure they ever were more responsive than they are now. Thing is, these are a lot of small businesses we’re all dealing with, so once you’re in the door they don’t necessarily have time to focus on you as much, and there’s no one looking at “customer service metrics” or anything to keep them on their toes.
Of course it could just be that they dont want to encourage you, sometimes I suspect that too.
Post # 6
Yes definitely! I hoenstly can’t stand when someone can’t take the time to email me back. I am always prompt getting back to my emails and when someone can’t take 3 minutes to write “Hey I am super busy I’ll get back to you at this date” then it really ticks me off. I’ve had this happen recently where my vendor didn’t get back to me for a month and a half and didn’t get back to me till I wrote on facebook, hey email me!! lol
Post # 7
@unixfairy: I have noticed that too with the coordinator at my venue and it’s driving me nuts!! She literally took 3.5 weeks to get back to me when I asked what length aisle runner I would need. Seriously, lady?! It wasn’t til I sent the 3rd email and got a bit snarky.. then she apologizes for being “busy”. Okay, I’m busy too, but it literally takes 2 seconds to respond to an email on my phone. Grr.
I’m in MA right now planning a PA wedding so basically all my other vendors have been chosen based on email communication. I still haven’t received back responses from some people I contacted months ago. Email communication was important to me so I needed someone who gets back to my crazy self within like 3 days or so. I don’t think the industry is trying to create bridezillas, but I feel like people are just spacey and think if we are not getting married in the next week, we don’t need a prompt response. Not the case for me – if we are paying you money, this gives us communication up to the day of the event. It’s so annoying to have to keep emailing and calling people to answer simple questions. Okay maybe I was just venting here too, but in the end, I definitely see how this can add to bridal stress and may be creating some of these bridezilla moments (or maybe we, myself included, are too big of control freaks to handle not getting responses in a timely manner.) But come on, how hard is it to answer an email if we are asking politely?!
Post # 8
When I started planning and meeting with vendors, I did what Cecilia37 did- I was overly nice, apologetic, accomodating, etc so as not to be seen as demanding or “Bridezilla-ish.”
After a few months, that wore off. I am now business-like, polite, matter-of-fact, and firm.
I have stopped caring what the vendors think, because I always start out by being polite and reasonable. When they are late or unresponsive I get a terse.
When I feel like I’m putting a lot of effort into being understanding and flexible with vendors, then I expect the same from them.
Post # 9
Like @Evie19 and @Cecilia37, I feel like I’m always consciously trying to be the ideal customer and not act bridezilla-ish. So much so that at times I was afraid to speak up or be assertive or forward in asking for what I wanted. I’ve realized there’s a fine line between asking for what you want as a paying customer, and being over the top with unreasonable and arbitrary demands.
I don’t think that vendors are necessarily responding to the Bridezilla hype, because I also agree that a lot of these vendors are small businesses with limited staff. In general, I prefer email communication because I like to get everything in writing but for a lot of my vendors, I find it easier to communicate with them by phone.
Post # 10
@Cecilia37:I’ve noticed that I bend over backwards to be honey-dripping sweet to them all because I’m worried they’ll think that I’M a bridezilla,
This!!! I am always going out of my way to apologize if I feel frustrated or things aren’t right. Why do I have to apologize if they aren’t doing what I ask? I just had this experience with my makeup trial (which was a disaster).
Post # 11
@Treejewel19: Agreed – I always feel like I am bothering them – because of the too busy response we get. Maybe their time management is at fault and we are not too demanding?
Post # 12
It shouldn’t but unfortunately it has. There is no way to change it either due to the bad apples.