Post # 1
I just joined recently but I’ve seen a lot of ladies in this situation, I feel like we should have a support group for the very specific painful waiting this induces.
I have been with SO for 2.5 years. I’m 26, he’s 29, we both have great careers. I had a talk with him at 2 years and he fumbled around with his words and said he was already planning stuff and didn’t want to talk about it because that’s not how it’s “supposed to happen.” I brought up wedding rings a couple months later and once again he became uncomfortable, so I’ve tried to avoid the issue since then.
Now I know he has the ring because I (shhh) peeked at his phone and saw him texting back and forth with his mom about it… she had her jeweler make it and sent it to him in mid December. Good news is he didn’t reuse the old ring (phew), traded it in for mine. Whether he did it because he felt pressured by me or because of his UNDYING LOVE… who knows.
I don’t know about you other ladies but the longer he goes without proposing, the more I feel like he is doubting his decision to propose. If we get in an argument (and it’s probably my insecurity talking), sometimes when he gets all quiet I wonder if he’s sitting there taking a step back and reevaluating our relationship. Or maybe I just feel that way because I don’t see him doing anything to suggest it’s coming soon… he’s not good at being sneaky. Valentines day is soon and he’s taking me to a steakhouse we have an expired groupon to to so we can use up the value of it… not exactly proposal material.
Oh well. Here’s to hoping that this is all worth it in the end!
Post # 3
Torture. I vote for a support group. In get what you’re saying. I found out maybe a month or so ago that my SO has had it for over a year. At first I was happy he had one, then ever since its been a sinking dread of ‘A year is a really long time to sit on it and that he might not really to scares me’. Especially since I won’t see it until October ’14 – April ’15.
I hope your situation resolves a lot sooner!
Post # 4
@Monalisa87: what’s the story with the “old ring”? Just curious 🙂
My SO has the ring as well (I’m 99.999% certain. We ordered it together a few weeks ago. it’s actually my grandmother’s ring, but we needed to get a new head and get it plated). The first couple weeks were TORTURE and I was wishing he would’ve just gone on his own, without me, so I wouldn’t know we’re this close. But I’m not sure that would’ve been much better.
He jokes that he wants to get married on valentines day, but my big mouth told him that was cliche and tacky (no offense, bees), so I doubt I can expect a proposal then. I’m thinking it probably won’t be until this summer at the earliest 🙁
Post # 5
This is what I am waiting for, purchased last Saturday – waiting can be sooo hard!
(Sorry for huge pic!)
Post # 6
@Monalisa87: I totally know how you feel! My FI had my ring for 7 MONTHS (multiple trips, birthdays/holidays) before he proposed. I also knew and it made waiting painful at times. My only advice is to try to be patient, he probably already has a plan in mind and is just waiting for the perfect time. I tried to arrange opportune moments, I avoided wedding talk, I talked A LOT about wedding talk, I got upset, I was happy, I started crafts, I over-analyzed EVERY situation… All of this just made me an emotional wreck.
It WILL work out…. and all of this stressing, over-analyzing and whatnot will be totally worth it! He’s already made the commitment to you by buying the ring, it’s bound to happen sooner than later!
Until then… secretly pin & start planning! haha
Post # 7
@southsun: I will keep my fingers crossed for you! Why could it be as late as april 2015?
@Yak: he was previously engaged to a girl he was with for 7 years. she cheated on him and gave him the ring back when they broke it off. I was deathly afraid that he was gonna reuse it. I guess I should be more understanding if I see hesitation at this juncture. I wonder if your future fi is gonna surprise you on valentines day anyway just to see how you react 😉
@Manxy: ohhhh my gosh I can’t even imagine waiting if I already knew how beautiful it looked on my hand! I hope yours is coming soon so you can finally start wearing that beauty all the time!
@FutureMrsM87: thank you so much for the reassurance. I love hearing stories like this, they make me feel a ton better. I guess there’s just something about him HAVING it and holding on to it instead of just proposing that feels awful and makes you suspect the worst.
Post # 8
He ALMOST has the ring in the house. He’s 3D printing it himself and had me try on the plastic prototype last week. He has to make some final tweaks and send the design to the printer, so probably 4 to 5 weeks until all the parts are under our roof 🙂
He’s had the stone forEVER. Seriously. He’s had it sitting in the house for almost 3 years. When he had me try on the prototype, he (sheepishly) confessed that he was terrified that he had lost the box the stone was in when we were moving and I was like “we moved 2 years ago!!!” and then he dug himself deeper with “yeah, but I didn’t get it right before we moved…”.
Post # 9
He has technically had the ring since before he met me… Its his grandmother’s old ring. I WANT ITTTT!!! We have been togther 2.5 years and have a date when we plan to get married (A good while off, I’m in medical school) I love him and I absolutely want to marry him because I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
However, I kinda wanna get engaged because I want some baller antique 2.1 Carat Yellow Gold Tiffany Bling rocking my left hand. Selfish… maybe… but true. I never understand how people say getting engaged isnt about a ring. It totally is. Getting engaged is about a sparkly ring and the chance to plan a wedding. Getting married is about wanting a life together… I want both!
Post # 10
@Monalisa87: I’m glad he got you a new ring! I would not take it well if he gave me an ex’s ring. It kinda bothers me just seeing random things he still has from his ex. I really think my SO will make me wait as long as possible. He knows I want to get married next year, and agreed that was a good idea, and I informed him how long it takes to plan a wedding, but I think he will hold off as long as possible to watch me squirm
Post # 11
@ittybittykittycommittee: You’re getting a 3d printed ring?! That’s so cool!!! Tell us more!
Post # 12
@Yak: Yes! It is super exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time 🙂 I stopped asking questions after a few of his answers made my blood pressure go nuts – like when he told me he was going to set the stone in the prongs himself. I was LOL NO please go to a jewler before you mess that up. Fortunately he watched some youtube videos and decided not to go the prongs route (plus he “does not like prongs because they look like claws”). My SO is a total perfectionist and SUPER picky and may have bit off a little bit more than he bargained for. He works as a designer, but not with jewelry, so this was all new to him. He has worked with 3D printing/prototyping so he knew how to make the CAD and get a prototype printed.
He is 3D printing the setting & mounting the stone himself. I tried on the plastic prototype the other week and am so excited to get the “real deal” in a few weeks! The setting is a half/split bezel with a spiral of metal that goes between the two prongs down to the cutlet of the stone and acts as a spring to hold the stone in place. The “spring” lets him ‘get away’ with a half/semi bezel rather than a full bezel, which means it will let more light into the face of the stone and the gallery. The band is a gently twisted mobeius strip where the mobeius portion is broken by the bezel “arms”. There will also be a secret inscription (didn’t have it ‘printed’ in the prototype so it’ll be a suprise).
I’m doing a really bad job of describing it, but it’ll be awesome when it’s done and it looks like nothing else I’ve seen (in a good way). We had looked at some rings together and he really did not like any of them (did I mention he’s picky?) and wanted to make a “labor of love”. I’ve seen probably a half dozen fiance-designed 3D printed engagement rings on the blogs/internet, and none yet on WB or in real life, so it’s definitely going to be something unique and special!
I’ll be sure to post pictures of the prototype (need to sneak some tomorrow when he leaves for work) and of the finished product. Right now I’m just terrified he’s going to crack or break the edge of the stone when he’s setting it in the metal, or that the metal printing will be too small (the plastic shrank compared to his CAD design).
That was really long, sorry! I’m super excited if you can’t tell 🙂
Post # 13
ugh I wish!!! I will just post my dream ring in hopes that it calls out to him through the internet ethos and he buys it.
Post # 14
@Monalisa87: Why is the steakhouse not proposal material?
If he were sitting on the toilet with a diamond ring in his hand and asked you to be with him forever, it’d still mean the same thing if it were written across the sky in fireworks!
Post # 15
@Monalisa87: to be honest, I have no idea why is could be as late as April 2015. Lol. That’s just what he said. He didn’t give a specific reason. Just ‘stuff he needs to do.’ O.o
Post # 16
@Yak: Here are some pictures of the plastic protoype that I took with my phone, sorry they’re so big and some are out of focus. It’s also cloudy and gross here today and the lighting in my kitchen stinks! The towel under the ring is white (and just bleached/washed) to give you a sense of how terrible the lighting is. Also, the plastic prototype doesn’t show the subtle details (e.g., twisting of the band) very well and has lots of burrs/artifacts on it because it’s not a finished, polished piece.
Side view of setting. The vertical “strips” in the spiral will not be there when it is printed out of metal, just some printing artifact from the plastic. You can see the “slot” in the bezel where the stone will fit. The burrs on the band are also a printing artifact, but the twist is a design element
Top view of the setting, you can see more of the “spring”. The band will be way smoother/rounded when it’s printed from the palladium not the plastic & polished up.
Setting with the stone in place… you can see the little “spring” that the twist in the gallery creates. again those burrs on the bottom of the band are just printing artifacts in the plastic version. Also the stone doesn’t fit perfectly because the plastic warped a bit from popping the stone in and out. He is going to make the bezel “arms” a little thicker and extend them onto the band a little more (ie make them longer).
Top view; a little blurry. He is going to extent the bezel “hands” a bit more so they encircle apx 2/3 of the stone
profile view on my hand. the band printed way too small to get it on and the plastic doesn’t really slide easily. You can see the twist in the band as well as the “spring” in the gallery