Post # 1
I checked our website and there was a comment from someone who wrote they were “excited for us and were looking forward to being there on the big day!” The name didn’t ring any bells for me and I was the one who addressed and sent out our STD’s! I panicked, thinking that a stranger found our site and planned on crashing our wedding. Turns out we sent a Save the Date addressed to my fiance’s church bishop and his wife (The envelope was addressed to just Mr and Mrs. ___________, not “and family”) Their daughter and her husband had recently moved in with them, saw the STD and immediately assumed she and her husband (and 2-year-old baby) are invited! (mind you that she has a different last name now, so there is no way the STD could have been confused for her and her husband. The reception is also an adult reception so she can’t really bring her baby either.)
My fiance used to go to school with the daughter, but says he’s not really close to her at all. She’s more like an acquaintance to him. We are so tight on space and money that adding even two people would put us over. Plus, we have people on our B-list who are much closer to us and we are almost heartbroken we may not be able to invite them. To have two extra people we’re not all that close to slide onto the guest list because they presumed they were invited infuriates me! We appreciate the well wishes, and I feel bad because she does sound genuinely excited for us. But we have to be firm in our decisions because if we let every person who’s excited for us, but not on the guest list, slide on through, we’d be broke!
Should we approach her, apologize for the confusion and explain the situation to her (as awkward as it can be)? How do we choose our words without sounding like meanies?
Post # 3
Tough one I know. I think it is their mistake for assuming that just since they lived there they were also invited. I would not be hesitant to correct them.
Post # 4
EEK. That’s 2 adults + a baby = $$$
I would perhaps correct it in a casual conversation with the bishop?
Post # 5
Yikes, that’s tough. My cousin kind of did the same thing – got a STD and assumed she was allowed a guest and via FB invited one to our wedding..umm..yah, faux pas on her part. I agree with caszos that it is her error for assuming that she and her family are invited, especially since the STD was addressed to her parents and not her. I would just explain to her that you guys didn’t know that she was living back with her parents and that while you’d love for her to be able to share in the celebration, right now it’s not in your budget to add people (or something to that effect). It’s a tough situation, but she never should have just assumed that she was invited too.
Post # 6
Once the wedding invitation is mailed, addressed ONLY to the Bishop and Wife…and we even dictated on our rsvp postcards “we have—- seat(s) reserved in your honor”, this will cut down a bit on people just assuming and force them to call where you can then clarify.
Post # 7
Dang, people are presumptuous.
Post # 8
UGh guest lists are SO tricky!!!
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
I would definitely contact the bishop and explain the situation, I’m sure it will be fine – it was rude of her to invite herself anyway!
Post # 10
I’m sure if you let the bishop know that unfortunately space and money is tight because of the economy and the fire marshal, I’m sure he’ll let his daughter know that she isn’t invited. I wonder if he even knows that she thinks she’s invited…