(Closed) Has wedding planning left any bees questioning friendships?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

oh yes!  A dear friend of mine was a bridesmaid in my wedding two weeks ago.  She was not really helpful or interested at all in the process.  Between paying for the bridesmaids dresses, hair, makeup, and gifts, I spent over $700 on each girl.  On the day of the wedding she showed up without bringing the matching belt to the dress (all the girls wore one) because she didn’t like it.  I was in total shock.  I guess in hindsight I should have told her to go home and get it. 

  Needless to say, I was really disappointed when I didn’t get a present from her, or a even a card.  She had too much to drink the night of the wedding, and then overslept and missed the brunch the day after.  I have spoken with her since the wedding and she had nothing to say about it like, “the wedding turned out nice.”  All she wanted to talk about was how her boyfriend asked her what her ring size was.  

It has really changed my opinion about her. 

Post # 4
2701 posts
Sugar bee

We lost a lot of “friends” over the year of being engaged. Now that were married, we feel so much better knowing who our true friends are. Allow the crappy friends to fall by the wayside and those fake friendships to die off naturally. When everything is over and done, you will feel so much better!!

Post # 5
4824 posts
Honey bee

I didnt, but I feel like since I moved across country those friends have already fallen away. Sadly, it isnt unsual.

The piece I would advice you of is to be careful. Wedding planning makes everyone emotional so be careful its not you being sensitive or the friend being sensitive/feeling left behind/etc before you write a friendship off. Its really worth trying to get to the bottom of any problems first.

Post # 6
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Short answer- Yes.

Long answer- My supposed “best” friend didn’t bother to even RSVP to my bridal shower of bachelorette`, never sent her RSVP for the wedding (but verbally responded that she and her SO WERE attending and gave me their dinner pre-selections), and then no-showed to the wedding. She didn’t call, text, e-mail, facebook, or anything. She just didn’t show up. And she still hasn’t made an effort to explain her total absence from such a hugely important time in my life. The friendship has been distant for a long time. At this point, I am pronouncing it dead. I am done making efforts.

On the other hand, wedding planning also brought me much closer to two other friends, and I am eternally greatful for that.

Post # 7
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’ve heard it stated time and time again in life and on the bee that weddings bring out the best and worst in people.

I think even just deciding on the guest list led me to re-evaluating a lot of my friendships.

And yes, unfortunately a few of my friends have been disappointing and my expectations for them are VERY different now…


Post # 10
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My “best friend” has been a total nightmare. she decided to move to colorado 2 weeks before my shower. pressured my other bridesmaid to give her money for my shower then talked about them when they wouldnt give her what she wanted. She never paid for anything for my shower, never showed up to my shower when she swore she would. I had to pay for her plane ticket to come to the wedding that shes supposed to pay me back for and hasnt. she switched her flight after i made the reservation to come in the day before the wedding when she still needed to get her dress altered and other odds and ends. She invited her parents to the wedding and they showed up to a black tie affair in jean and a tshirt and a sun dress. never got a gift or a card from either her or her parents.

Post # 11
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My husband and I lost a few friends on his side due to wedding drama. They weren’t being great friends to begin with, and the chaos that we endured just proved to us the type of people that they are. Thankfully, my side of friends were amazing. I could not have gotten through the day without them and I love them even more to this day.

Post # 12
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@loveknows: I know it’s really sad and disappointing. I think lefeymw: brings up a really good point- sometimes people may be getting oversensitive in general which makes everyone touchy.

It’s depressing when you are at such a happy time in your life and people you expected to share in your joy end up adding stress and acting very selfishly.

Post # 13
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@FutureMrsChaney: WOW that is awful. Im so sorry you had to deal with that…

Post # 14
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Oh god yes!

Post # 15
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sadly, yes.

I am the first to get married and I think we (both my friends and myself) are having trouble deciding what this means for our friendships. Some of my friends are having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that yes, I am in fact getting married.

Maybe we are all just in very different places in our lives, but it’s heart-breaking that some of the people I considered my closest friends, people who love me and love my Fiance, have suddenly changed their tune when we said we were getting married. I mean come on guys, we have been together for 6 years, didn’t you understand that this would be the next step? /sigh

Post # 16
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It definitely has for us, too.  I think of it as a good thing!

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